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Someone help me name this thing (Warning: big pic inside)

supersizeme

supersizeme

New member
Alright my project for this weekend was to find a friend for my other cat, Zoie. I adopted this one Saturday from a local pet store. She's a one year old female tortoise shell tabby, on her vet records was a ruptured uterus and mummified fetus so at some point she was pregnant and someone was probably a humongous shitbox and kicked her in the stomach. She's bad ass though...good natured, loves to be held and just wants to sleep on me all the time which is cool cuz my other cat does neither. Anyways her name in the store was "FeeFee" (kill me) and so I need to come up with something else and I'm looking for suggestions because I'm tired of calling her "hey kitty."

Note: Please keep this thread free of any "pussy" jokes because they're not going to be funny regardless of how funny they are in your head. Also, the first person to suggest "D-Bol" as a name gets hit in the face. And no "Muffin" or "Buffy Wuffy" or anything that would further emasculate me for being a single male and owning two cats. Thanks.

sorry for the oversized pic, forgot to crop the mofo
nameless1.JPG
 
@ cats with rhyming names- why don't you just give him some Lube, and send him to the $1 Matinee of the Greg Lubedanus... uh I mean Lougainous Story!
 
the cat that lives at my apartment is insane. I just call her "cat" - I think her name is "Penny"

whenever I see animals, I'll usually just call them "fluffy" regardless of what their names are - they go by more tone of voice anyway.

I call my dad's dog "shithead" - which is interesting since that is what my ex gf and my mom call me.

if it was a guy, I'd call her DonkeyDick or PigFucker - but that's just me.

pour water on her, and whatever sound she makes, or the first thing she breaks - name her after that.
cats love having water poured on them.
 
She's soooooo cute SSME!

I think you should name her "Gabby" the tabby!

Come to think of it..I can't have anymore "litters" either.....I'm a bad ass when needed...I purr...Yep, Gabby the tabby for sure.
 
vixenbabe said:
She's soooooo cute SSME!

I think you should name her "Gabby" the tabby!

Come to think of it..I can't have anymore "litters" either.....I'm a bad ass when needed...I purr...Yep, Gabby the tabby for sure.
Click to expand...

I like Gabby. I like pussies...I bet that Gabby's pu....well, hehe...never mind...
:o
 
chloe is good but i have too many friends with pets with that name. plus being a male having two cats with rhyming names, i might as well shove a tampon in my ass and curl up on my couch with some ice cream and watch My Best Friend's Wedding and giggle about how that Rupert Everett is such a character. i was think more along the lines of maybe "Meat Hook" or possibly something like "Butch" after my father.

or i could go with HS's idea which is a fine one. however i don't want to ruin this cat's demeanor and i think dousing her with water when she still isn't even comfortable at my place is a bad idea. my other cat's being a total bitch, too. it's been 3 days now and she still hasn't stopped hissing at her. the other cat just kind of looks at her like wtf are you doing with all this hissing?? then i expose myself and start hissing and it gets all fucked up from there.
 
also calling her "dog" or "bird" - although that might ruin her self confidence.

I've always wanted to get a parakeet and name it "Thor"
 
ok Gabby is on the list. i like that one, although this cat is missing most of her front teeth and couldn't quite do the original Gabby justice aesthetically speaking. she has strong, shapely legs though(for a cat) so we're not too far off.
 
Name her Fatass, cause that's what she is. Or how about SkankWhoreHowCouldYouGetPregnant. Or my favorite name for a cat is GetYourNastyShitStainedAssholeOffMyCountertop.
 
frorider6 said:
Name her Fatass, cause that's what she is. Or how about SkankWhoreHowCouldYouGetPregnant. Or my favorite name for a cat is GetYourNastyShitStainedAssholeOffMyCountertop.
Click to expand...
:spit: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
a fellow cat lover I see
 
HappyScrappy said:
:spit: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
a fellow cat lover I see
Click to expand...


I hated my exwife's cat so bad, and it continually INTENTIONALLY kept pissing me off and provoking me! I worked nights, got in bed about 2, and this little fucker would start scratching the mattress and running it's nails down the wall at 4 or 5 in the morning because it wanted to be fed.

After months of trying everything from squirt guns to foul tasting spray, I'd had it. I snapped. I chased down the cat cat, grabbed it by it's neck...... oh I so wanted to snap that little fucking neck....... Just a quick little *snap* and all my problems would be over...... I held that fucking cat by the neck, face to face for a while. Finally, I decided not to kill it (something I regret) so I just...... well......... I fucking head butted the thing, WWF style!

The cat never did learn. I hated it sooooooo bad.
 
LOL

frorider... you and I would get along splendidly.

I hate most cats. the one at my apt now has its moments, but for the most part is insane. she will run full speed for three feet. then just stop and do this weird arched back thing. then shoulder plant into the carpet and do a "swim" thing with her claws. it is her way of getting hair on every possible surface - woven in so that it will never come out.

she knows she isn't supposed to be in my room - so that makes her want to be in there even more. its the same with one of my housemates. they both know that if I catch them, I freak out. and they both seem to think it is funny.
 
note to self: if frorider ever moves to my town, asking him to look after my cats - BAD. arching my back and spitting in front of HS while we are having a beer- GOOD.
 
Other people's cats are okay. As long as they're not in my house making litle chocolate starfish prints all over my counters, bedspread, or couch.

Growing up, my dad lived in the county, so he had a couple cats for pest control. A stray showed up one day and we took it in. This was the ugliest cat ever, so we named it Scumbag. Pretty cool cat as far as cats go.

Had another one named T.C. Stands for "That Cat".
 
have you considered any of these names? just a thought:

AssRape
KickMyAss
PeiceOShit
Laurie
DropKickMe
Football
Sam
Heroin
FartSmeller
AssWipe
AssFace
AssCat
CatAss
Steve

hope that helps.
 
frorider and HS really have some excellent suggestion, i believe DropKickMe being the pinnacle of all that was listed. trance, i would name it after you but the only time i have caught her bent over my toilet was when she was drinking from it. i am kind of leaning towards Devan since I always thought that was a bad ass name for a female or maybe Azrael since i've always considered myself a badass like Gargamel, only with better spells. keep them coming though because we at least have some interesting cat stories here.

and dogs put their poo stained bungholios on countertops just like cats do. and they have to hump everything, you don't see cats tearing up guests' legs while they stand there with this awkward look on their face like, "can you get your dog to stop copulating with me please." i'm not knocking dogs, i like all animals. i just don't want to keep a dog cooped up in my little apartment and worry about walking him all the time or eating my furniture. cats are low maintenance and make for good company.
 
if a dog had to choose between saving you and losing its own life - it would save you.
a cat on the other hand would miss you dearly and think of you often.

the only way the cat really likes you is when you are gonna give it food.

I love dogs - I'm torn between a lab or a basset artisian norman



basset_artesien_normand_jissa.jpg
yellow%20lab%20head.jpg
 
I think there's a very deep psychological reason that people prefer dogs over cats.

It parallels their personal relationships.

Dog people want people to slobber and jump all over them every waking moment, and need constant attention.

Cat people are more independent, and like to be involved with self-sufficient people with minds of their own.

That is ny Tinkertoy Freud analysis for the day.
 
Trance said:
I think there's a very deep psychological reason that people prefer dogs over cats.

It parallels their personal relationships.

Dog people want people to slobber and jump all over them every waking moment, and need constant attention.

Cat people are more independent, and like to be involved with self-sufficient people with minds of their own.

That is ny Tinkertoy Freud analysis for the day.
Click to expand...


where does the cat clawing furniture, or the dog dragging its ass accross the carpet fit into this equation.
either way, I'm gonna start doing both of those things right..... NOW!
 
Trance said:
I like to couch up a hairball now and then.

I also like to rub against people's legs.
Click to expand...

how does one couch something up? that sounds illegal - I'm all for it.

and I think my new favorite pet name is "Mongo" - I'm definitely naming any dog I get that. and all my kids.
 
Cats and Fish as pets have a lot in common.
Both are for people that enjoy sitting enjoying a soothing quite time.

Dogs are for those of us that occasionally enjoy that as well as going to the park and running and playing fetch with our pets.

Also, Even a little dog will eat someones ass up that is threating
their house or you, or at least warn you of the intrusion.

A cat will welcome them in and rub against the robber's legs asking to be fed...
 
Supersizeme

Call her Maggie....I have always liked that name, not that that really matters.

or

Since she doesn't have any front teeth, name her after Goatslayers buddy....Toothless.
 
I always considered the dog-humping-leg thing to be a plus. It's a great ice breaker at parties. I just make sure to have some Handi Wipes around for my guests legs when he finally finishes.

PLease please don't name the cat something gay. People will already be suspicious of a man that owns 2 cats. You have to name them something offensive that a gay man wouldn't be caught dead naming his little precious.

FuckNut
Dingleberry
WasteOfSpace
MovingTarget
LastResort (as in, I always have a LastResort to get laid)
Jesus (when faced when an important decision, always ask Jesus)
JesusFuckingChrist (as I referred to many a cat)
AssLicker
ShitBreath
StainMaker (cause that's what they do best)
FlushDamnYou (cause that's what I kept yelling as I was trying to flush mine)
 
SweatyBalls
FatFuck
StupidBitch
HairyFucker
Precious
Pretty
ShitLicker
StinkingAnnoyingThingThatWrecksTheFurniture
Fluffy
Muffy
Buffy
Stan
 
yes i was totally thinking of Toothless in honor of SG. although that's a little bit mean so I think i may just go with ShitBreath or Jesusfuckingchrist. i'm gathering that fro doesn't like cats much.
honestly the whole point of this thread was to incite a which is better - cats or dogs - war. [evil voice]everything is going according to plan[/evil voice].

i'm thinking about getting a pet Trance once i get bored of the cats.
 
HappyScrappy said:

StinkingAnnoyingThingThatWrecksTheFurniture
Click to expand...


Yet another great suggestion.

Okay, back to cat's names:

BagOfShit
FoodProcessor
StarfishStamp
BallLicker
TightPussy
HairyCunt
SantaClaus
Mr. LikesToLickPeanutButterOffMyAss
 
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frorider6 said:

StarfishStamp
Mr. LikesToLickPeanutButterOffMyAss
Click to expand...

both of these are what most people refer to supersizeme as

and remember, just cause she dances go go - that don't make her a ho no.
 
Last edited:
frorider6 said:
And dogs are the best, as long as you don't have little gay dogs and dress them up in little gay outfits.
Click to expand...

lol, looks like some shit i saw havoc and johnnyO wearing out together the other day. and stop knocking having peanut butter licked off your bum because if you are, you're using chunky when you should be using creamy or vice versa.
 
you should name it either...

Munson or Borndish..... well I guess you could name it Tomo Fupa.
 
More names:

Screech (cause that's the sound it makes when you're fucking it)
Bitch
David Hasselhoff
OneHotPussy
BattleCat (if you wanna be one of those gay Warik types)
Scuba Steve
TheOnlyThingThatWillEverLoveMe
 
Or go with movie themes

Jaws
Terminator
ThatWhoreErinBrockovich
Princess LaidByMe
DaWookie
ThatHotGirlFromThePornLastNightWhoseNameICan'tRemember
 
AssWrangler
AssMangler
Slut
Bertha
Marge
Gonzo
Bonzo
GetOffTheCouchYouFuckingCat

90% of these posts make really amazing board names as well
 
HappyScrappy said:
90% of these posts make really amazing board names as well
Click to expand...


I KNOW!!!!! I've wanted to change my board name for a long time but I don't want to lose my post count or the "identity" I've built up. Frorider6 is just a stupid email account I've used before and I wasn't feeling very original the day I signed up on Elite.

And I think it's just us 3 left on this thread. Can we change the thread's name to "Beating A Dead Horse"?

I don't give a fuck though, this is the funniest thread I've read in a long time.
 
how about "beating supersizeme's cat" or "asswrangers unite"

I'm thinking of telling my closest friends that I juice and then get them over to this board - they would do well here.
 
this thread is still entertaining the shit out of me. some classic cat names in here. i think BagofShit and ClassroomSlut both brought a tear to my eye.
also i feel you both on the whole "i want to change my handle" thing. mine pains me as well but what can you do. HS could be pig fucker and finally at last be one with the world. frorider could be something a little bit more easy to decypher at first glance. i could be something not fastfood related. i'm going to change mine to TranceisinMyPants.
 
How about godddamit cat-

Since you'll be saying stuff like:

Goddamit cat get off stopr clawing up my couch, or goddamit cat your breath stinks!
 
if supersizeme goes my tranceisinmypants - then I'm gonna have to go with IJustShitMyPants.

I know someone that owns that url too.

as much as I like pigfucker, it has a slight it sounds too innocent - like a little girl...
I want MonkeyMolester.

or SmallAndFlaccid.
 
frorider6 said:
How about ShutTheFuckUpNeedleboy. :FRlol:


kidding. :D
Click to expand...

was thinking-

pleezdon'tletfrotry&putmeuphisass-

Figure maybe your ready to move up again as you've mastered the leap from gerbills to Guinea Pigs!
 
How about "Leave the fucking cat alone" because that's what you'll be yelling at your perverted house guests....
 
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