Look, Highlander, no fish that swims the waters of this earth could single-mouthedly dispose of the immensity of your carcass. So an itty-bitty piranha might be able to latch on and sheer your cornea off, or deliver quite the destructive payload to your Huevos con Salcica, but actually eat you? Feh. Not even if we forced it to do Humbolt County Bong-hits first.
Oh, btw: Elmer's RULES!