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milo hobgoblin
New member
No... these probably wont make much sense if you dont live in San Diego... but they are funny (and true) as hell for those of us who do.....
Mattel recently announced the release of
Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the San Diego
California market:
La Costa Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at the brand new La
Costa Forum. She comes with an assortment of Kate
Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, and a long-haired dog
named Honey. Available with or without tummy tuck and
face lift. Workaholic Ken sold in conjunction with
"augmented" version only.
Rancho Bernardo Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with
Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She
gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or
secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone
included. Headset sold separately.
Escondido Barbie
This recently paroled tattooed & nose pierced Barbie
comes with a 9mm handgun, a desert/river ready lifted
Chevy truck with dark tinted windows, and a methlab
kit. This model is only available after dark and can
only be paid for in cash, preferably in small,
untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop; then, we
don't know what you're talking about!
Del Mar Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own
Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
Santee/Lakeside Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
jeans, two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety
Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of
Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can
spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately
and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely
free.
La Jolla Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the beach house.
Percocet prescription available.
La Mesa Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair
of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel
from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Lemon
Grove Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Leucadia Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long,
straight, brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no
makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She
prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want
or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Leucadia
Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a
coupon for a free wheat-grass smoothie at any Whole
Food's Market.
National City Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll.
Optional accessories include a GED and bus & trolley
pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available,
but are now very difficult to find since the addition
of the infant.
Poway Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is
because he's always away working.
Chula Vista Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984
Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby
Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The
optional Ken doll comes with a pick up truck loaded 10
feet high with mattresses. Green cards are not
available for Chula Vista Barbie or Ken.
Hillcrest Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from
Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the
multiple "snap-on" parts. Bonus: free rainbow flag
with proof of purchase sticker along with valuable
discount coupons to all "F" street bookstores.
Mattel recently announced the release of
Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the San Diego
California market:
La Costa Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at the brand new La
Costa Forum. She comes with an assortment of Kate
Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, and a long-haired dog
named Honey. Available with or without tummy tuck and
face lift. Workaholic Ken sold in conjunction with
"augmented" version only.
Rancho Bernardo Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with
Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She
gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or
secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone
included. Headset sold separately.
Escondido Barbie
This recently paroled tattooed & nose pierced Barbie
comes with a 9mm handgun, a desert/river ready lifted
Chevy truck with dark tinted windows, and a methlab
kit. This model is only available after dark and can
only be paid for in cash, preferably in small,
untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop; then, we
don't know what you're talking about!
Del Mar Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own
Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
Santee/Lakeside Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
jeans, two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety
Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of
Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can
spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately
and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely
free.
La Jolla Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the beach house.
Percocet prescription available.
La Mesa Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair
of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel
from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Lemon
Grove Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Leucadia Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long,
straight, brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no
makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She
prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want
or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Leucadia
Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a
coupon for a free wheat-grass smoothie at any Whole
Food's Market.
National City Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll.
Optional accessories include a GED and bus & trolley
pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available,
but are now very difficult to find since the addition
of the infant.
Poway Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is
because he's always away working.
Chula Vista Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984
Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby
Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The
optional Ken doll comes with a pick up truck loaded 10
feet high with mattresses. Green cards are not
available for Chula Vista Barbie or Ken.
Hillcrest Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from
Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the
multiple "snap-on" parts. Bonus: free rainbow flag
with proof of purchase sticker along with valuable
discount coupons to all "F" street bookstores.
