Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below 
A magazine ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were
looking for people to submit quotes from their real
life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the Top Ten
finalists:
1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to
access the building using individual security cards.
Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees
will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the
winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in
Redmond, WA.)
2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown
problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or
data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
4. "This project is so important, we can't let things
that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
schedule." (Plant manager, Delco Corporation)
6. No one will believe you solved this problem in one
day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act
busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's
time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining
and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people
doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled
for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on
purpose so that I would have to miss work on the
busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could
change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be
better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
9. We know that communication is a problem, but the
company is not going to discuss it with the
employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines
Division)
10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report
to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked
him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I
wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow
to ask for it!" (New Business Manager, Hallmark
Greeting Cards)
looking for people to submit quotes from their real
life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the Top Ten
finalists:
1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to
access the building using individual security cards.
Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees
will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the
winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in
Redmond, WA.)
2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown
problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or
data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
4. "This project is so important, we can't let things
that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
schedule." (Plant manager, Delco Corporation)
6. No one will believe you solved this problem in one
day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act
busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's
time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining
and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people
doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled
for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on
purpose so that I would have to miss work on the
busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could
change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be
better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
9. We know that communication is a problem, but the
company is not going to discuss it with the
employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines
Division)
10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report
to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked
him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I
wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow
to ask for it!" (New Business Manager, Hallmark
Greeting Cards)
