Question for the women

[fyxgel]

Hey,
I know I'm not a woman, so technically I shouldnt be here, but I had a question and was wondering if I could get some input from some women about it:

I am a male, and quite honestly I admit, I am attracted to good-looking females. What am I wondering is, is what they say completely true, about if you are a male looking for a hot female you don't have to be good looking but you just have to be confident?

Like could I be really average looking, and get with a really hot female, just because I come across as being really confident in myself?

 

[Shak]

Most certainly! Although, just like you want "really hot" girls to go for you, maybe you shouldn't rule out finding an average looking girl. I think you should base your search on who you have the most fun with and are most compatible with, and then maybe that "average" girl will become really hot in your eyes.

But, if you are insistent on getting a hot girl, I think having a confident personality is a very attractive quality. I have met many guys who I initially thought weren't that attractive, but after I got to know them, they became really hot. Attitude means a lot - if you have a great personality, it will shine through and you'll realize that looks don't matter all that much.

 

[fyxgel]

So basically if I give her enough time to get to like me and my personality..
I can seduce any hot girl?


I'm going to be honest, I agree that appearances aren't everything, that a good personality is really cool, and all this stuff, but..
I have a hangup, I like hot girls, I can't explain it. I would go out of my way, if I could somehow ensure that the girlfriend I got, would be hot. Like I know it's not fair to the girls, but basically this seems like a requirement for me.

But maybe I'm just dumb because I've never had a girlfriend before, so i dont know what really matters.


So girls, you would really consider confidence more important than appearances?
I mean, as a guy I can say that confidence is a good attribute for a girl to have, but to be quite honest it isnt the first thing that comes to my mind, appearances come before that.

 

[Shak]

I assume you are young? I think as you grow older and date more women, you'll figure out what matters to you in a relationship. Sure, a hot girl is nice, but that can't be your only requirement - you'll understand that after you've dated a couple girls that may look good but have crappy personalities.

 

[wend]

Yep. I've been with guys that were drop-dead gorgeous, but when they turned out to be kinda dumb, the attraction faded. (And confidence isn't everything...there's also thoughtfulness, intelligence, kindness, good sense of humor, etc., which all go together to make a great personality.)

 

[fyxgel]

I assume you are young? I think as you grow older and date more women, you'll figure out what matters to you in a relationship. Sure, a hot girl is nice, but that can't be your only requirement - you'll understand that after you've dated a couple girls that may look good but have crappy personalities.

yea, I'm relatively young, just turned 20, and I havent really dated any girls before.
Appearances arent my only requirement, like I have to like her personality too, and get along with her, and have fun with her,
but Of the requirements, the appearances are probably the first one I think of.

 

[fyxgel]

Yep. I've been with guys that were drop-dead gorgeous, but when they turned out to be kinda dumb, the attraction faded. (And confidence isn't everything...there's also thoughtfulness, intelligence, kindness, good sense of humor, etc., which all go together to make a great personality.)

so would you date an 'ugly' guy if he had good confidence, intelligence, thoughtfulness, kindness, humor, and a good personality all round?

 

[smoknjilly]

more important - treat her nicely and with respect, and you will be way far ahead of all the other guys....

personally - you could be the best looking guy in the world - but if you didn't treat me right - you'd have NO chance in hell

 

[FitFossil]

more important - treat her nicely and with respect, and you will be way far ahead of all the other guys....

personally - you could be the best looking guy in the world - but if you didn't treat me right - you'd have NO chance in hell

Yeah - what she said

For me, there has to be some visual attraction, but what's "hot" is purely up to individual taste. Also, as you get to know the person better, you'll find they either get prettier or uglier, depending on their inner qualities.

Contrary to popular belief, not all hot girls are being constantly bombarded by men, because lots of men are too intimidated to approach them. And some hot girls avoid hot guys because they're used to being the pretty one and don't want any competition on the looks front.

So, if you've got confidence, use it - your odds are better than you think!

 

[fyxgel]

more important - treat her nicely and with respect, and you will be way far ahead of all the other guys....

personally - you could be the best looking guy in the world - but if you didn't treat me right - you'd have NO chance in hell

I go to a Christian College, and a good fair number of the guys there are willing to treat any of the hot girls nicely,

you seriously think this would give me a rung up on some people?

 

[fyxgel]

wow, after reading these posts, I just feel corrupt as a guy, because we have life so much easier than you. You girls struggle to look really good, and are willing to provide such a wonderful asset (your delicious bodies) to the opposite gender,
and you are okay with doing that, with even getting a delicious body in return. You females seem so much more generous than us males, I just almost feel guilty now about all of this, lol.

thanks for all the replies though, its good to get some female input

 

[wend]

Well, I personally never dated (aside from an actual, single DATE) a guy I found ugly. (And that was a miserable evening, let me tell you.) But like some of the ladies have said, what a woman considers to be attractive may not conform to what, say, the magazines tell us we're supposed to find attractive. For example, my husband is a wonderfully hairy guy. And it's not like I overlook the hair. It's part of what initially attracted me to him, physically. I already found him intriguing, and soulful, and we'd spent hours talking about the Universe and meaning and all that jazz, but what clinched it was when we were getting ready to play some midnight tennis (we were in college) and he took his shirt off and I saw, not only his nicely developed chest, but all that black, silky hair. Mmmm. I just wanted to run my fingers through it.

So....it's not like physical attraction doesn't need to be present for a woman. It's just that you don't have to look like a model for a woman to find you attractive.

 

[jenscats5]

Physical attraction is important to women; however with some women the guy's confidence & personality makes the physical part of the person more attractive....

I've gone out with hot guys & their personality was so bad I couldn't stand them....I've been with guys who some would consider "average" looking who have a great personality....

Keep in mind that as a young man, yes you will go towards the looks first but as you get older other aspects may intrigue you more. If you get into a relationship with a "hot" girl who has NO personality what will you do after the sex is done or gawd forbid gone? You'll be with someone you don't know & don't get along with. Also watch some of the "hot" women who are just after a guy to take advantage of them for money, etc.....these women do exist so just be careful

And remember when you go in, go in covered.....

 

[Raina]

Initial physical attraction, the instant "yum" factor flies out the window if someone opens their mouth and turns out to be ignorant, hateful, or less-than-clever. I've always liked a guy who was himself and genuine.

 

[Sebby]

Just as a disclaimer - I am also male, 24y. Looks are not the only important factor. She needs to have her own life, her own friends, her own interests, hobbies, career asperations. All that comes from her personality. When you get with a girl, she lets you in as you build trust. When you see all this, it completes her, she may have the look you like but now she is the complete package.

 

[Sassy69]

You can be attracted to whatever turns you on visually, but if you want to spend any extended period of time with this person, you have to be able to stand their personality, habits, level of intelligence & contribution to your life. Maybe not even initially, but eventually those things that annoy you may outweigh the things that attract you. "Hot" is fine, but ultimately there's more to it.

People are definitely attracted to people who are confident. A caveat to that though, is that sometimes very confident people are also amazing scam artists and leverage their perceived confidence to take advantage of other people they know are attracted by that "confidence". If that confidence is also presented in ability to make good and intelligent decisions and the person isn't so self-focused that they end up dumping on the other person, then its all good

 

[PowerPrincess]

yea, I'm relatively young, just turned 20, and I havent really dated any girls before.
Appearances arent my only requirement, like I have to like her personality too, and get along with her, and have fun with her,
but Of the requirements, the appearances are probably the first one I think of.

Better get a good paying job!!! Hot Women like to be treated like the stars/princesses they are. Seriously...exotic flowers, jewlery, dinner, adventurous activities, etc... Not that i'm saying that women are gold-diggers, but more like - women always need to be treated well...and asides from your confidence, intellect and personality, they better be a driven, monetarily successful side to you as well. Just my two cents

 

[wend]

THINGS are nice, but there's an even more important kind of generosity, in my opinion...sexual generosity. A man who takes the time and effort to make sure that his lady is sexually satisfied...well, he's worth his weight in gold.

 

[jenscats5]

THINGS are nice, but there's an even more important kind of generosity, in my opinion...sexual generosity. A man who takes the time and effort to make sure that his lady is sexually satisfied...well, he's worth his weight in gold.

Yes, that is extremely very very true....

 

[Lililston]

If you are "average" looking, but NOT ugly, and you are confident(and probably popular) then of course you can get a hot girl!