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Question for the guys!

J

jja

New member
I work as a bartender(I'm a gal), and am constantly getting asked out by customers. Now the thing is I'm taken. So why, when I tell guys that, do they always ask for my number anyway???? I just don't get it. What's up with asking for a girl's number even after she shoots you down?

And, how do I refuse my number without being rude? It makes me really uncomfortable, so I usually end up letting guys give me their numbers, which I throw away.
 
Some people are sons a bitches (men).
Some others are cheating bitches who'll probably go on to have such sons (women).
 
Sorry , didn't answer your question did I ?,
one lady I went out with used to get pestered all the time , even when I just went to the bar to get some drinks , she used to make me feel fucking amazing though , when she pointed at me and say to the guy , "Y'see that chap over there , he's my man , now if ya want my number , ask him first if it's ok" - I didn't get any takers.
As far as I'm concerned , if they know you're with someone then they're already bein rude so tell them to PISS OFF.
 
I'm feeling sincere right now so I'll give a straight answer. It is wrong to continue to hit after they have been shot down by being told you are taken. I would chalk this up to the alcohol and the fact that bars don't usually attract a highly polite crowd. My .02:)
 
So what do I do? I'm not very good at saying "fuck off" What are they expecting? That we'll do something as "friends" and end up fucking later? I just don't get what motivates them to press further.
 
Sounds like this really bothers you. Maybe try wearing a fake engagement ring? I never had this problem so thats all I can think of. I've heard guys trying to pick up girls and they can be obnoxious. Maybe write a book called "Idiots without a clue - my life as a female bartender"?
 
Well, in my opinion....I think guys continue to try and seal the deal even after they've been told that you're taken because they think it's a lie. Most girls use that line to ward off guys they don't like. Once a guy hears it enough, and still has the drive to succeed, he takes it as a lie and proceeds forward.
 
Not very good at saying fuck off?

Practice , after a while you'll find it comes naturally.

If they made a reply like that then technically that's harrassment I reckon , in which case security should be called. Of course , if someone still tries after u give them this relatively gentle blase put down then they've got real problems. It's a case of do ya want to spend 10 minutes explaining it to them one syllable at a time (and probably let them down more) versus quick and sharp , I actually think most guys would prefer the quick put down rather than the smarmy shit.
 
jja said:
And, how do I refuse my number without being rude? It makes me really uncomfortable, so I usually end up letting guys give me their numbers, which I throw away.
Click to expand...

The 12 gauge behind the counter should be a good deterrent.
 
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These answers seem to forget that she makes her living off of tips from customers. It is not smart to say "fuck off" to a drunken customer. I think it may be possible that you are flirting a little without knowing it. Body language, eye contact, looks etc. I arrived at this possibility because I just got back from Hooters and got a partial boner from the way the girl took my order. She pushed her breasts against me twice for one thing. Her eye contact was awesome. I'd have stayed and gotten a buzz but I have been down this road dozens of times. Some bartenders and waitresses get great tips because they have a way of turning on the customer. Bet your tips are fine...look at the bright side.:)
 
Neil Downbich/Gabe Asher said:
That's what you get for working in bar. Either accept it, or get a job somewhere else.
Click to expand...

True - I don't have a prob with guys hitting on me - just looking for teh BEST way to let them know that no, I'm really not interested without making them feel bad OR (yep, I want my money!) losing my tips.

Test Boy - good suggestions! I'm gonna try the ring thing, and if that doesn't work, I'll quit and get started on the book! It'll feel strange though, b/c I'm only 22, and most people think I look about 19 :)

All in all, this is a pretty minor point, since I'm having a great time as a bartender.
 
Getting a fake ring probably will not help.
Some guys never grow up, they get into their 40's
and still act like highshool kids when it comes to women.
They just want to prove to their buddies that they are
some kind of stud or something.

A man without honor or respect is not going to let something like a ring keep him from making an ass
out of himself.

I think it is something you might have to learn
to live with, even though that is unfair to you.

Good luck.
 
Being attached doesn't mean anything to a lot of women and men. They're hoping your one of those women that don't care.
Also, based on my experience, married or attached women are better fuck buddies. They're not after money, commitments etc. They just want some dick.
 
plifter

plifter , I was gonna flame you for your post , if it was you who were getting cheated on then maybe you'd feel different (I know I did) , and it wasn't cos I wasn't banging the bitch enough. Man , how can you do that shit , especially if she's got kids!
Anyway , I read your post on "My luck with women" and you seem to be exactly the kind of dude jja is talking about , you say that you're painfully shy , and that's a pity man, you don't seem lie a bad guy but this is not fucking kosher.
If you know that she's hitched and you still push then you deserve a pounding , simple as that.
 
Hows this sound?

Say I only give out my number to guys I know. Probably won't work. The bar crowd is so obnoxious that sometimes I pretend that I didn't hear them and hope for the best. This is a little rude but I have seen SO MUCH rudeness in bars that I usually try to avoid them. My biggest customer owns a bar, I can't believe how uncooperative most of the people are.
 
I think your way to handle things like asking the guys numbers and dont call them is good, also the ring thing, but either way there are some guys wont mind you are even married with 3 kids, some of them are only fantasizing, and would never even call you, so just be nice, and remember some of the guys tip you because of the chance to hang out with you, sodont let them think they will do withyou things that you wont, so good luck.

:smash:
 
Re: plifter

Mandinka said:
plifter , I was gonna flame you for your post , if it was you who were getting cheated on then maybe you'd feel different (I know I did) , and it wasn't cos I wasn't banging the bitch enough. Man , how can you do that shit , especially if she's got kids!
Anyway , I read your post on "My luck with women" and you seem to be exactly the kind of dude jja is talking about , you say that you're painfully shy , and that's a pity man, you don't seem lie a bad guy but this is not fucking kosher.
If you know that she's hitched and you still push then you deserve a pounding , simple as that.
Click to expand...

Truthfully I was only with a girl one time that had a boyfriend. I think it's OK to bang her if she hasn't married him. If she was anxious to get it on with me she obviously was missing something with her boyfriend.
 
plifter

I presume you've gone out with someone , and in making that presumption , you've managed to notice that at the same time there's still plenty of chics in the world , and some of them like you and some of them don't. Now what is it that stops you from bangin 'em - Is it because you're having so much God damn sex that you couldn't get it up or because you have respect(not just love) for your partner. Most guys I know could comfortably bang 10 different girls a day but don't outta plain respect for their partners. So I put it to you when you say that she wasn't gettin it at home (obviously) that you seem to have neglected the possibility that she is a dirty slut and that you are a dirtball for lettin down the team.
BTW , the one girl that did cheat on me spent the next two weeks cryin down one end of a phone beggin me to come back after I told her to hit the road.
 
Turn the table and be aggressive towards them/him - it might just scare him.

Sometimes it's not about getting someone as it is about the flirting and the chase. Sometimes people just want to see if they can get you but they really don't have the intent to continue.


Anywhoooooooooo

Just a thought.
 
Men like an uphill struggle....a taken woman is an uphill struggle. Most of the guys that ask you out are probably ego-maniac pieces of shit, so don't be polite. Just tell them to leave you alone.
 
cause some are just desperate morrons.....easy just tell them "hey fucker just told you I'd a boyfriend dont ya get it ?" but if you really care about your tip well just like one guy said above give them a fake number.......
 
Oh my God!!!! I am so gonna get flamed for this, but I don't care.

JJA, have you seen my thread? It's called "Gather ye rosebuds" aka "the desperate cry of a near-30 virgin". A little perspective, please!

Now you listen to me: Too much male interest is NOT a problem. There are always women who register outrage and chagrin when guys cat-call or respond to their sexuality. And then one day ... it stops. And then these women realize that they were DAMN FOOLS.

There is POWER in being someone who inspires men to take leave of their senses. F*ckin' enjoy it. Praise whatever God you happen to be down with for your blessings.

(Please, don't think this is "sour grapes," or that I've forgotten that 22 years old is barely out of adolescence--melodrama is inevitable. I remember it well!)

Just be polite and firm. Spare their feelings (and their egos! for the sake of your tip!), but make it clear. And then forget about it. Let it roll off your back. Have a good laugh at them when they leave. Pity them, even.

Finally, it's a BAR for crying out loud! If your place of employment was a law firm or hospital or somesuch, then there might be a problem. But to be so bothered in a bar...? Hey if you don't want to take the flight, don't buy the ticket. Ya know?

One really effective thing you could do: Say something very clever. Guys do NOT wanna deal with smart girls when they are out drinking!!! You'll turn them off faster than if you sprouted a goiter!
 
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You can't be nice,to idiots that demand your number after being shot down, my girlfriend gets hit on all the time because she is too nice to everyone, if they don't go away after the first time you say no tell them to fuck off and get a life.
 
jja ,,, after you made my drink the other night you were the one who started flirting with me.
So I figured I'd give you my #, I doubt you threw my # away though.:D
 
try wearing a ring to act like you're married..personally I'd be flattered but you don't want to egg them on..you never know there are some sick bastards out there that will follow you home...if they're persistent then be rude..some guys just don't know when to quit.
 
Conquest Men are dogs! Bow Wow-----Bow Wow


As for the second part There is no easy way...:bawling: . We big boys, Don't worry we move on real quick!

" Did you see that girl that just walked in? She wants me! I got to get her number1"

It's that simple and that quick! S

bass;)
 
just...

tell the guys that arnt youre type,make them feel at zero level,this is only when they get sticky,by the way where do u normally see all these dudes?disco?gym?
ps tell them you want a 220 pound solid berry de mey look type heheh
 
Comes with the territory

Part of being a bartender is being hit on. It comes with the job. When you are around a bunch of drunks loaded with liquid courage, the bartender is often the easiest person to talk to and/or approach, so of course you'll be subject to lots of attention.

Sadly, most people who hit on bartenders are not exactly that desirable (I mean, if they were, why would they need to hit on a bartender working?), so just don't worry about it. Most people forget about hitting on you the next day anyways, you should too.
 
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