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As some of you may be aware, I've recently learned that I'm going to be a father. And not just of one child, but several little rugrats at the same time. To be honest, I just discovered this myself, so it's all still somewhat of a shock.
Now all that is left to do is find and impregnate the mothers.
When I determined to "become a dad" this past friday, frankly I thought it would be pretty easy. I thought through all the implications. My friends warned me about all the "financial obligations' of raising a child, but that doesn't concern me. I look at them as a potential tax write off, so the cost really isn't an issue. They also pointed out how much of a headache kids can be, but since I don't plan on giving them any way to actually get in contact with me, such as an address or phone number, I don't see this as a problem either.
On the plus side I'm tired of people throwing their "kids" in my face in a "see what I did, don't you wish you were me" kind of way. I don't, but they think I do, so that is sufficient motivation to take corrective measures. I'm thinking at least 5, since my sister has 4, and we've always been competitive. Even when we were children we competed at everything. Like she graduated high school as valedictorian, and I...well...graduated.
So as of Friday I've been looking for random women to impregnate with what at best could be kindly described as lukewarm results, but more accurately and objectively I would have to say the response has been hostile, sometimes violently so. Ok, I lied about the sometimes part.
I don't understand the reaction what so ever. Frankly, some of these women were getting up there in years, and you would think with the buzzer going off on their biological clocks, they would be ecstatic about the opportunity to receive my donated sperm. Maybe girls in the tri state are just nuts, and I need to expand my search.
In the meantime I'll be registering at various department stores for the baby showers, and I will forward a list to everyone here.
Now all that is left to do is find and impregnate the mothers.
When I determined to "become a dad" this past friday, frankly I thought it would be pretty easy. I thought through all the implications. My friends warned me about all the "financial obligations' of raising a child, but that doesn't concern me. I look at them as a potential tax write off, so the cost really isn't an issue. They also pointed out how much of a headache kids can be, but since I don't plan on giving them any way to actually get in contact with me, such as an address or phone number, I don't see this as a problem either.
On the plus side I'm tired of people throwing their "kids" in my face in a "see what I did, don't you wish you were me" kind of way. I don't, but they think I do, so that is sufficient motivation to take corrective measures. I'm thinking at least 5, since my sister has 4, and we've always been competitive. Even when we were children we competed at everything. Like she graduated high school as valedictorian, and I...well...graduated.
So as of Friday I've been looking for random women to impregnate with what at best could be kindly described as lukewarm results, but more accurately and objectively I would have to say the response has been hostile, sometimes violently so. Ok, I lied about the sometimes part.
I don't understand the reaction what so ever. Frankly, some of these women were getting up there in years, and you would think with the buzzer going off on their biological clocks, they would be ecstatic about the opportunity to receive my donated sperm. Maybe girls in the tri state are just nuts, and I need to expand my search.
In the meantime I'll be registering at various department stores for the baby showers, and I will forward a list to everyone here.
