This is the opening of a show of Hans Teeuwen, the most popular theatre comedian in Holland at the moment...
"Lord, I know, that I am sinful. I am sinful. For I am a man and man crucified your only son, who brought us the message of love forgiveness. And when I think of how that went in those days, just the whole way they did it, you just dont do that. If i just think about just the crown of thorns, have you ever tried that? try it sometime... to think of something like that, sure, but to do it.... you dont do that.
Still, I want to ask You in all humbleness to help me. I need you. I need you to help me to make this here tonight an unforgettable performance, both for me, and for everyone here tonight. And see, in a way, I too am a prophet.
*laughs*
What? With a message. Though I do think I might be funnier than your son, but...
I want to ask you, to help me make this an unforgettable night for the people here. And really, I mean this, I would Really, Really appreciate it. I have to say though- On the other hand, I might uhh, find it a bit, strange if you would help me. After all there are millions of people who hehehhe, starve and uhh pfff get tortured and uh there was a third one, are terminally ill *lol*.
And some of them pray like a madman, really, and still dont receive your, divine help. So how would it make sense if you would help Hans Teeuwen, in this small theatre... right? but thats good thats ok. doesn`t matter. if you dont shoot you always miss.
Still I know a lot of people get great help from prayer. Like athletes who always make a cross before running, and when they win they thank you, you personally. so maybe these starving people dont pray hard enough or something, I dont know.
Maybe You just concentrate some more on the succesful people on Earth, that you have a thing for that.
Not criticising or anything, i mean i understand. Imagine having to listen to the whining of billions of starving people every day... Youd go mad man, mad. They always say that your ways are undefinable. and thats true. Everything, everything that happens on this earth is part of a plan of God, a sort of huge, uhh pretty complex, plan .
The thing is, we are too puny you see, as humans, to understand this plan.
But the great thing is, when we die, then we come in Heaven, and then he explains all this.
And Im looking forward to that so much. Im so curious. I have so many questions.
So sometime I die, then i come in Heaven, and then he is there somewhere...
So I ask somebody, hey, where is he?
And then he says oh hes somewhere over there.
So then hes there and go to him and i say to him
Hey, God, I want to know this, tell me.
Why was all that necessary? All that pain, misery, childporn, hunger, disease, war, child abuse, the holocaust, why, WHY was that necessary?
then he says "well because of this and that, and so that this and that and blablabla"
then I say "Yeah of course ! sure, I get it. thats great"