Post your favorite jokes in this thread.

[mattcanning99]

Q: what is a mixed feeling?

A: seeing your mother in law drive off a cliff in your new car.


Quote:

i want to die like my grandfather, peacefully, in my sleep, not yelling and screaming like the people in his car.

 

[Code]

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?


















Full.

 

[Norman Bates]

The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs. As he is finishing his speech on comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question.

'Mr Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

'No, Dopey,' responds the Pontiff, 'there are not.'

'Mr Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?' Dopey questions.

'No, Dopey,' the Pope chuckles, 'there are no dwarf nuns in Italy.'

'Mr Pope,' Dopey asks pleadingly, 'are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

'No, Dopey,' the Pope says sadly, 'there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

And softly in the background, the six remaining dwarfs start chanting, 'Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin.'