Poorly Managed Cycle - Recovery Advice Please

[Pmb1804]

Hello all,

Before i begin i realise how stupid and irresponsible this will read and ask you not to judge me. I never intend to cycle again and just want to get back to my normal self asap. Its a long thread but i cant put into words how much i value your time/response.

At age 22 in Around April/May 2015 i ran a cycle of test-e 250mg twice a week all the way up to September. I was young and stupid and was extremely negligent towards possible side affects. I threw anavar in towards the end of the cylce and my testicles shrivelled up to nothing at one point. I did not manage E2 with any sort or AI so throughout the cycle I had ED issues even though libido was here. I didnt use hcg on cycle either. On a long coach journey whilst on i also had a case of very bad swollen feet which i believe is down to high E2 and have varicose veins in one of them.

At the end of the cycle in september 2015 i took tamoxifen following dosgaes recommended online somewhere for about 4 weeks and threw in some arimidex not really knowing what i was doing. My libido was okayish but i always struggled to maintain an erection and it never felt the same.

I had a bloods done in june 2016 after avoiding the GP for as long as poss and he said everything was fine and in range so i put it down to being a psychological thing. I also believed it was however the reason i knew it wasnt was i went on holiday twice that summer, and each time after a few days in the sun POW i was back to my normal self ! Feeling happier, libido like it used to be and no signs of ED ! exactly how i was pre steroids. However a few days upon returning to the UK it was back to low test symptoms. I figured vitamin D definiciency may be the cause and was buzzing to test my theory however supplementing with this even at high does did nothing ? (I have read about other people with this observation regarding the sunlight post steroid cycle) ????

So when the doctor dismissed me i was down and did some stupid 2/3 week course of winstrol at 50mg a day before i went on holiday in September 2016 as a bit of a confidence booster with some friends who are also uneducated on steroid use and we did no pct.

I paid my GP to see the blood results from june 2016 and the only useful value i could really see was that my total serum testosterone was 11.7nmol/L. This was 7 months after finishing the cycle so within range but when i looked ... well out for a 23 year old ?! My GP never picked up on this ... then i foolishly threw more steroids in myself ?!

I just dont get the sexual urges i used to before steroids but libido was dealable. I just dont feel like i used to before i touched them. I could get an erection and have some pleasure but struggled to maintain it and nowhere near pre steroids.

I paid to privately see an endo and he recommended i just wait it out as im young and it could take up to 3 years to return to homeostasis. The GP didnt have a clue when i mentioned things like clomid and nolvadex, never tested my E2 and said i could have counselling.

I went on OTC test boosters and a PCT product with reservatrol in for two months at the end of 2016, and my libido went way down and ED worsened and ive had no libido since. I could look at the hottest of women and nothing. I had bloods done in December which came in at:-

Testosterone 29.7nmol/L (7.6-31.4)

Free Test 0.677nmol/L (0.30 - 1)

Oestradiol 226.7pmol/L (0-191.99)

SHBG 31.24nmol/L (16-55)

FSH 2.03 IU/L (1.5 - 12.4)

LH 7.9 IU/L (1.7 - 9.6)

That E2 was sky high and explained why i then had 0 libido. The OTC PCT product with reservatrol seemed to be acting like a serm however my E2 rose in proportion with my T. I have since stopped these products and experimented with clomid however it made me feel so down i stopped everythibg for 4 weeks.

I have began to redo a long PCT of clomid 25 and nolva 20 daily on the advice of smarter forum users. My balls are slughtly bigger and i have been getting the odd morning erection but theres no libido with them. The only supplements i take apart from this are Vit D @ 5000iu and ZMA. when can i expect during this pct for my sexual function to hopefully come back / has anyone ever been through this before

i just want to make sure im doing this right.

Doctors dismiss me and i have to reach out for advice on the internet its so difficult. I want to live like a normal 24 year old. I really have paid for my stupidity.

 

[stevesmi]

first off high estrogen levels do not cause a drop in libido. not sure what online guru invented that but it is bullshit.. low estrogen though will cause low libido everytime.

the reason your libido is in the shitter is you keep fucking with clomid and nolvadex. google clomid libido or nolvadex libido and see what you get. most guys experience a libido tank on it

here is what you need to do.. STOP using these drugs and grab a bottle of hcgenerate or hcgenerate ES (if you can afford the more expensive one).. run that bottle for a month. your libido will recover

 

[MasonicBodybuilder]

Honestly your blood work looks fine. You are not suppressed. There is so much more to libido than test or estrogen levels. You are so stressed out about this it is making things 1000x worse. You just need to not use AAS and chill out. Everything will return to normal.

 

[spursmad]

Hi my friend I hope this reponse finds you in a better frame of mind I agree with the last two I think your so anxious and depressed about it definitely stop clomid that stuff is nasty fucked my head up I'll never take it again. I did suffer a similar problem to you and I got back to normal I used a sarm mk2866 however I was older by some years but I don't think it would hurt to run it for a month fill the syringe up and take it in the mouth taste vile but well worth ago once your back to normal workout naturally see how far you can get you probably know this by now steroids are for poeple 26-28 and onwards and ran correctly can really help also if ran correctly keep side to a minimum but good luck in what course of actions you choose all good advice but stop worrying you will recover put it down to a life lesson and move and always do your research

 

[muskate]

@stevesmi gave you pretty much perfect advice.

People take SERMS like clomid and nolvadex like they are candy but they actually have even more side effects associated with them then most steroids.

STOP using everything and get a bottle of a good natural testosterone booster that contains natural anti-estrogen ingredients like HCGenerate ES from n2bm.com. That will kill 2 birds with one stone.

It will naturally increase your libido and FSH levels, and naturally decrease your estrogen levels.

High estrogen levels won't effect libido but they can cause side effects like gyno and water retention.