Lately, though, he'd just been tired in general. Tired of people. Tired of books and t.v. and the nightly news and songs on the radio that sounded exactly like other songs on the radio he'd heard years before and hadn't liked much in the first place. He was tired of his clothes and tired of his hair and tired of other people's clothes and other people's hair. He was tired of wishing things made sense. Tired of office politics and who was screwing who, both figuratively and otherwise. He'd gotten to a point where he was pretty sure he'd heard everything anyone had to say on any given subject and so it seemed he spent his days listening to old recordings of things that hadn't seemed fresh the first time he'd heard them.
Maybe he was simply tired of life, of the absolute effort it took to get up every goddamned morning and walk out into the same fucking day with only slight variations in the weather and food. Too tired to care about one dead girl because there'd be another after her. And another. And sending the killers off to jail even if you get them for life- didn't yield the appropriate level of satisfaction anymore, because they were just going home, to the place they'd been heading all their dumb, ridiculous lives, and the dead were still dead. And the robbed and raped were still the robbed and the raped.
He wondered if this was what clinical depression felt like, a total numbness, a weary lack of hope.
Maybe he was simply tired of life, of the absolute effort it took to get up every goddamned morning and walk out into the same fucking day with only slight variations in the weather and food. Too tired to care about one dead girl because there'd be another after her. And another. And sending the killers off to jail even if you get them for life- didn't yield the appropriate level of satisfaction anymore, because they were just going home, to the place they'd been heading all their dumb, ridiculous lives, and the dead were still dead. And the robbed and raped were still the robbed and the raped.
He wondered if this was what clinical depression felt like, a total numbness, a weary lack of hope.

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