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I also once decided on my lunch break that I couldnt wait for my Winny Shot until the end of the day.. Everything was cool, I ordered my food and went to the bathroom to poke myself.. (This was not an uncommon practice for me at the time)
There was virtually no one else in the restaurant so I was pretty confident in my security.. I did my shot, wrapped it up in toilet paper and TRIED to flush it like I usually do at restaurants. ( they usually have great toilets)
So the fucker just swirls, stirring all the bacteria and infections from previous depositors but never goes down.
It was at this time that I had to make one of the most important decisions of my life... Do I leave the fucker in there, like an anabolic bobber? Or do I fish it out of this shitter with my bare hands...
I chose the latter, I would hate to have some kid walk in and find it ( Alhough it would give meaning to WINNY THE POOH).
I reached in like a hero and pulled the fucker out.... No what? I cant put this fucker in my pocket, all wet and shit. Nor do I want to throw it in the garbage for the janitor to find and give it to the police or something....
So I look around, James Bond Style, looking for a secret compartment or something.. I looked up and found that they had one of those ceilings where the tiles push up....
So I stand on the fucking top of the toilet. Push up the tiles and toss it a few feet back.. It was at this EXACT time, that the dude that took my order walks in and sees my head and shoulders about the shitter stall... He took my order so he knows i am not 9 feet tall.. and asks me in a petrified voice " sir what are you doing?" I retorted immediately, "just checking things out son". He again queried me "do you work here or something?"
I said " no have a fear of things falling on me when I poop so I need to make sure everthing is secure before I " download".
He gave me a blank look but decided to end the conversation there... I sat back down as if this were normal and as I heard him peeing I started to chant, "safety is key, safety is key" rainman style.
He finished pissing, and I asked that he "please wash his hands four times, flip the light switch twice and tap on the door when he was outside..."
The little acne monkey did it too... I finished up in the toilet, stuck my finger in my nose, and went back out to get my pizza. He got my ZA, finger in my nose and all.. I proceeded to pick the closest table to him, Eat my pizza, staring at him the entire time, still with my finger in my nose. Barking out the occasional random word at 80 decibels or so.... "Toadstool!", chomp chomp... "Koala" Chomp chomp, "Pickels!"
I often wonder if he will be reunited in the same mental ward when i am committed...
I hope so, cause he was fun to fuck with.
There was virtually no one else in the restaurant so I was pretty confident in my security.. I did my shot, wrapped it up in toilet paper and TRIED to flush it like I usually do at restaurants. ( they usually have great toilets)
So the fucker just swirls, stirring all the bacteria and infections from previous depositors but never goes down.
It was at this time that I had to make one of the most important decisions of my life... Do I leave the fucker in there, like an anabolic bobber? Or do I fish it out of this shitter with my bare hands...
I chose the latter, I would hate to have some kid walk in and find it ( Alhough it would give meaning to WINNY THE POOH).
I reached in like a hero and pulled the fucker out.... No what? I cant put this fucker in my pocket, all wet and shit. Nor do I want to throw it in the garbage for the janitor to find and give it to the police or something....
So I look around, James Bond Style, looking for a secret compartment or something.. I looked up and found that they had one of those ceilings where the tiles push up....
So I stand on the fucking top of the toilet. Push up the tiles and toss it a few feet back.. It was at this EXACT time, that the dude that took my order walks in and sees my head and shoulders about the shitter stall... He took my order so he knows i am not 9 feet tall.. and asks me in a petrified voice " sir what are you doing?" I retorted immediately, "just checking things out son". He again queried me "do you work here or something?"
I said " no have a fear of things falling on me when I poop so I need to make sure everthing is secure before I " download".
He gave me a blank look but decided to end the conversation there... I sat back down as if this were normal and as I heard him peeing I started to chant, "safety is key, safety is key" rainman style.
He finished pissing, and I asked that he "please wash his hands four times, flip the light switch twice and tap on the door when he was outside..."
The little acne monkey did it too... I finished up in the toilet, stuck my finger in my nose, and went back out to get my pizza. He got my ZA, finger in my nose and all.. I proceeded to pick the closest table to him, Eat my pizza, staring at him the entire time, still with my finger in my nose. Barking out the occasional random word at 80 decibels or so.... "Toadstool!", chomp chomp... "Koala" Chomp chomp, "Pickels!"
I often wonder if he will be reunited in the same mental ward when i am committed...
I hope so, cause he was fun to fuck with.
