Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below I was watching a show that was dicussing parents who were getting their teenage daughters on birth control. I have mixed feelings about this for a number of reasons. It almost gives your daughter a license to have sex. How can you preach abstinence(sp?) but yet try to protect them? What are some of your takes on it?
Parents: Birth Control for your Daughters
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Bikini Mod
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I have four daughters. Though they are still little, that won't be true forever. I think about this from time to time and all I can say about this now is that I have and always will discuss all topics with them openly and honestly - ESPECIALLY SEX.
I would hope that my daughters will maintain thier virginity as long as possible and even then, when they become sexually active will realize that whether it is the first time or the last time, sex is a gift that is to be shared between two human beings that have an affection for one another. Not talking about LOVE or MARRIAGE. I believe that instilling this notion in them will only cause them to "fall in love with first jackass that finds their way into their panties".
I want them to understand how powerful a gift this is, because they can give life. SERIOUS STUFF.
I want them to respect this gift, themselves AND others so as not to behave irresponsibly.
There are also terrible diseases that will make pregnancy seem like a walk in the park or even prevent them from the ability to achieve pregnancy when they so desire.
Anyways... I will do my best to TALK to my girls and have them not be afraid to come talk to me.
Sex is a normal part of human development. Any parent who thinks that by simply telling thier child, "Don't do it" or "Wait until your married" will keep them from actually engaging in sexual activity should just shoot themselves in the head NOW because chances are if they are not willing to face this topic NOW, they won't be able to handle the rammifications later on.
I would hope that my daughters will maintain thier virginity as long as possible and even then, when they become sexually active will realize that whether it is the first time or the last time, sex is a gift that is to be shared between two human beings that have an affection for one another. Not talking about LOVE or MARRIAGE. I believe that instilling this notion in them will only cause them to "fall in love with first jackass that finds their way into their panties".
I want them to understand how powerful a gift this is, because they can give life. SERIOUS STUFF.
I want them to respect this gift, themselves AND others so as not to behave irresponsibly.
There are also terrible diseases that will make pregnancy seem like a walk in the park or even prevent them from the ability to achieve pregnancy when they so desire.
Anyways... I will do my best to TALK to my girls and have them not be afraid to come talk to me.
Sex is a normal part of human development. Any parent who thinks that by simply telling thier child, "Don't do it" or "Wait until your married" will keep them from actually engaging in sexual activity should just shoot themselves in the head NOW because chances are if they are not willing to face this topic NOW, they won't be able to handle the rammifications later on.
Longhorn85
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My oldest daughter is 14. So far she hasn't asked to be able to date. I have been fortunate so far, all she cares about is sports, but it is coming, I know. Any boy interested in her will have to see her at my house, in the presence of the whole family.
grlpwrd
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I have 11yo and 8yo daughters and I used to work in an STD Clinic as a research assistant. We speak freely about birth control and sex. They know the dangers and consequences of sex, like STDs and pregnancy. I tell them often how if they have sex too early they can contract the human papilloma virus which could affect their childbearing years. I also show them pics of women who have STDs like gonorrhea and syphilis. I do this to keep it real, but also to let them know sex is not for kids.
It's difficult times for kids nowadays and I know it's not realistic for everyone to wait until marriage like I did so I guess I would help them get birth control if they came to me. I would be disappointed and it does seem like I would be condoning it, but it could be a matter of life and death. I have to protect them.
It's difficult times for kids nowadays and I know it's not realistic for everyone to wait until marriage like I did so I guess I would help them get birth control if they came to me. I would be disappointed and it does seem like I would be condoning it, but it could be a matter of life and death. I have to protect them.
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ttlpkg said:
WORD TO THAT.
To this day I would only bring a man around my family if they were someone truly special.
When I was younger and began to date (wasn't allowed until I was 16) I also had to bring them home to my family or else NO DATE. It was hysterical watching these guys sweat it out. Once I was in college I only brought home the guys that I was a little more serious about.
I think that as long as you let your children know that no matter what, you'll be there to guide them along the way - perhaps it will be ok.... We all make mistakes. It is best to circumvent serious problems before they get that way, but sometimes despite our best intentions things just snowball and get out of control. I try to let my girls know that no matter what, we will handle life TOGETHER.
gymtime
New member
OK, here's what you do.
Go to www.gross.com/unnaturalacts/sweatymanlove. There you'll find several pictures of Pennypacker and TheProject experimenting sexually with a variety of common kitchen utensils.
Show one or two of them to your daughter. It'll be traumatic for a time, but it should serve to put her off sex well into her 30s.
Go to www.gross.com/unnaturalacts/sweatymanlove. There you'll find several pictures of Pennypacker and TheProject experimenting sexually with a variety of common kitchen utensils.
Show one or two of them to your daughter. It'll be traumatic for a time, but it should serve to put her off sex well into her 30s.
i think about this all the time also. I have 3 daughters 12, 7, 4. My 12 yo daughter goes to the movies with her boyfriend already but she tells me everything and i can trust her 100% so far. Its damn scary what she tells me about a few of her friends though. I also know some of the teachers at the middle school and the shit they hear is really scary. I guess oral sex is a huge thing at the middle school. They dont think of it as actual sex. I Wish that shit went on when i was in junior high. lol. Anyway im scared.
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john937
New member
My brother and I were raised in a religous, moderate household.
Over the years, my views have become more liberal, and my brother's have become more right wing.
He was of the "abstenance only, no abortions, stand over her with a baseball bat" variety toward his daughter.
That didn't stop his daughterr from sneaking out the window and staying out all night.
She's now a single mom, my brother is a new grandfather, and his view on this would today be considerably different (except on abortion).
While we all regret how this came to be, the new grandbaby is adorable.
Over the years, my views have become more liberal, and my brother's have become more right wing.
He was of the "abstenance only, no abortions, stand over her with a baseball bat" variety toward his daughter.
That didn't stop his daughterr from sneaking out the window and staying out all night.
She's now a single mom, my brother is a new grandfather, and his view on this would today be considerably different (except on abortion).
While we all regret how this came to be, the new grandbaby is adorable.
A
ariolanine
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All I can say to ttpkg and kabar is good luck. I feel for you guys. I think I only want sons.
HG Pennypacker
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My daughter is only 11 months, but at the Yarn store the other day, I saw this little boy looking at my daughter kind of funny. I tossed a spool of thread up in the air, as a distraction, and punched the little bastard's father in the liver. The old "hi-lo" gets 'em every time.
Longhorn85
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KA-BAR said:
You say you can trust her 100% so far. Can you trust her boyfriend with your daughter 100% knowing the power of peer pressure and hormones?
My only objection with it is that it should be teenage BOYS and GIRLS and probably not even teenage, more like 9 or 10. I understand from teachers that 1st graders are now having sex 
.
I would provide them with so much information about birth control, AIDS and parenthood; including photos/slides of genitial infected with all sorts of STD's, that FEAR would over take any desire to explore sex anytime soon.
Knowledge may be power, but fear, now that's some control factor.
.I would provide them with so much information about birth control, AIDS and parenthood; including photos/slides of genitial infected with all sorts of STD's, that FEAR would over take any desire to explore sex anytime soon.
Knowledge may be power, but fear, now that's some control factor.
velvett said:My only objection with it is that it should be teenage BOYS and GIRLS and probably not even teenage, more like 9 or 10. I understand from teachers that 1st graders are now having sex
Where are these teachers from? I find that incredibily hard to believe that is going on. Hell I just learned how to fuck a couple years ago.
Yea I think so. They are both strait A students not that it really matters. If i ask her what happens at the movies she would tell me and I would be able to tell if she lies. She told me they held hands and she told my wife that she wanted him to kiss her! Its comming and I dont know if im ready. She is really smart and mature for her age and so far she is an angel. Im just not going to think about it any more right now. lol
ttlpkg said:
toga22
SideShow Freak
Excellent advice Bikinimom!! 
Parents can yell and scream and make threats about a miliion of things....but the bigger fuss that they make the more curious one becomes, and eventually they will end up doing exactly what they were told not to do...
But parents that have the maturity and patience to actually talk to their children about any issue that arises, are way ahead of the game.
Parents can yell and scream and make threats about a miliion of things....but the bigger fuss that they make the more curious one becomes, and eventually they will end up doing exactly what they were told not to do...
But parents that have the maturity and patience to actually talk to their children about any issue that arises, are way ahead of the game.
Longhorn85
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KA-BAR said:
Oh my God, I'm so not ready for this.
Snow White
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Birth Control
It always amazes me why we don't have tv shows about parents discussing ways to keep their teenage boys' pants up.
Why is it always on daughters and their parents? Shouldn't we be teaching our sons birth control as well? Aren't they just as, or should be just as responsible? After all, it the boys that ultimatly pay for the child's support.
Abstainance is not an alternative. Think back when you were a teenager. Did you abstain? Why do you expect your children to abstain?
It always amazes me why we don't have tv shows about parents discussing ways to keep their teenage boys' pants up.
Why is it always on daughters and their parents? Shouldn't we be teaching our sons birth control as well? Aren't they just as, or should be just as responsible? After all, it the boys that ultimatly pay for the child's support. Abstainance is not an alternative. Think back when you were a teenager. Did you abstain? Why do you expect your children to abstain?
Longhorn85
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Re: Birth Control
It most certainly is and I most certainly did.
Snow White said:
It most certainly is and I most certainly did.
Re: Birth Control
I'm not sure. My family always taught me what you described.
As far as your second paragraph...I believe it is. It doesn't hurt to try, but educating them on the "what if's" is needed too.
Snow White said:It always amazes me why we don't have tv shows about parents discussing ways to keep their teenage boys' pants up.
Abstainance is not an alternative. Think back when you were a teenager. Did you abstain? Why do you expect your children to abstain?
I'm not sure. My family always taught me what you described.
As far as your second paragraph...I believe it is. It doesn't hurt to try, but educating them on the "what if's" is needed too.
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vixenbabe said:
VBABE - Did you read my posts?
Shame on you!
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bikinimom said:
SofaGeorge
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I'm taking care of a 17 year old girl this year. I've sort of lucked out on controversial issues... she isn't interested in boys yet and just wants to play sports.
She's a smart kid and I trust her completely. She wouldn't lie to me about anything, and we talk about everything. If she does get a boyfriend I don't have any worries that she won't pick a good kid.
I guess I'm just blessed that I feel she can talk to me and my girlfriend completely honestly. Communication makes all good things possible.
She's a smart kid and I trust her completely. She wouldn't lie to me about anything, and we talk about everything. If she does get a boyfriend I don't have any worries that she won't pick a good kid.
I guess I'm just blessed that I feel she can talk to me and my girlfriend completely honestly. Communication makes all good things possible.
vinylgroover
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Greek's have it down. Best form of birth control is a girls dad following her on her date with a shotgun. It usually sorts out the serious guys from the those looking for a quick root.
T
The Shadow
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velvett said:
Darlin - APPLIED knowledge is power.....
My parents talked to me about sex. It wasn't the most comfortable deal, but they were pretty okay about it. As my parents were both party animals, I think they always assumed the worst. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. Mostly my parents lectured me to be safe.
I know they wanted me to wait until I was married but they never said that. They stressed that they wanted me to make responsible choices. To be honest, my parents were quite firm with me and I was terrified of disappointing them for a long time. I didn't choose to abstain in HS etc for them though. I was really busy with school and sports and didn't date much.
In college I decided that I didn't want to have sex. I didn't want to risk getting pregnant. I dated a guy for 18 months without sleeping with him. A couple of weeks later, just before I was 20, I decided to have sex. I was safe about it and have no regrets.
I know they wanted me to wait until I was married but they never said that. They stressed that they wanted me to make responsible choices. To be honest, my parents were quite firm with me and I was terrified of disappointing them for a long time. I didn't choose to abstain in HS etc for them though. I was really busy with school and sports and didn't date much.
In college I decided that I didn't want to have sex. I didn't want to risk getting pregnant. I dated a guy for 18 months without sleeping with him. A couple of weeks later, just before I was 20, I decided to have sex. I was safe about it and have no regrets.
Testosterone boy
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ttlpkg said:
Can you make an exception for me?
Testosterone boy
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Raina said:
Neither do I. Thanks for waiting.
Re: Birth Control
I abstained until 19. I have no children. I am single and 28 years old. I would say Ive done a hell of a lot better than a lot of guys and gals.
Snow White said:It always amazes me why we don't have tv shows about parents discussing ways to keep their teenage boys' pants up.
Abstainance is not an alternative. Think back when you were a teenager. Did you abstain? Why do you expect your children to abstain?
I abstained until 19. I have no children. I am single and 28 years old. I would say Ive done a hell of a lot better than a lot of guys and gals.
W
Warik
Guest
The best form of birth control for a young female is to teach her not to be a promiscuous whore. Any girl who thinks the little teen boy who is about to get into her pants is doing it because he loves her so much needs to take a field trip into the future when he's no longer around - lol.
-Warik
-Warik
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Warik said:
Or the parents of the young boys can be taught to be equally non-promiscuous. LOL
I am not picking on you Warik.
Seems to me that all of you seem to forget. Who will get my daughters pregnant, if not YOUR SONS?!
It all goes back to the old idea that the female will get "stuck" with the consequences. Well, now - those days are LONG over. STD's get passed along TO BOTH. With DNA tests, a man can no longer wipe the sweat from his brow and say, "It wasn't me!". And with the laws a man can not force a psycho broad to abort his baby because he doesn't want to be attached to her for life.
Me, I actually don't mind having daughters (not that I wouldn't have loved little boys equally). I would rather be responsible for good girls that may have made a mistake then be responsible for a good boy that made a mistake. Think about it. If (heaven forbid) one of my NORMAL daughters gets pregnant I will have WAY MORE influence in the situation then if my NORMAL son were to impregnante a straight up crazy skank ho. Either situation would suck, but if I had to choose the lesser of two evils.....
VBABE - you are forgiven, my daughter. Now get over here and give me some sugar!
W
Warik
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bikinimom said:
My sons will be taught egoism very well and very early in their lives so that by the time they reach puberty they will realize that only the most exalted of women deserve the right to even THINK of having sex with them. If your daughters are exalted enough to reject my sons' sexual advances, then they will qualify. My sons will act accordingly. =)
bikinimom said:
True, the problem though is that the consequences of their mistakes extend far beyond themselves. They become a burden on society. This woman I know has 99.99% of her life paid for by the government while her co-worker who works 10x harder and earns significantly more can barely make ends meet. The former has a kid who barely just got out of diapers and already has a pregnant girlfriend. Irresponsibility screws us all.
bikinimom said:
No way... I'd rather have boys. Easier to deal with. Greater sense of honor and responsibility. My sons are going to rule.
-Warik
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I agree with what you said except the last part. A woman who is worth HALF of anything good has a much greater sense of selflessness, honor and responsibility. Why? Because she can never truly walk away.
SHE MUST RESPECT HERSELF ABOVE ALL OTHERS BECAUSE SHE HAS THE POWER TO GIVE LIFE.
SHE MUST RESPECT HERSELF ABOVE ALL OTHERS BECAUSE SHE HAS THE POWER TO GIVE LIFE.
Cornholio said:
HA!
Take two horny people (especially teenagers) a sexual moment and trust me "knowledge" will not be the first thought applied. If that were true, there would be no accidental pregnancies (except of course the very rare birth control failure - which is usually still the fault of the taker/user) and the rise of AIDS & STD's would fall.
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velvett said:
Any parent who thinks for one millisecond that THEIR CHILD would NEVER end up in such a scenario is either STUPID or STUPID.... Either that, or they are just plain STUPID.
We are not talking about thrill seeking or using drugs or even necessarily peer pressure. We are talking about basic bodily functions. Whether yall like to admit it or not sex drive is a normal, natural part of life. It is NOT BAD or EVIL or DISGUSTING. To suppress and/or control it is sometimes extremely difficult, though admittedly NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
Any of you who says that you have NEVER EVER given in to such urges even though YOU KNEW FULL WELL it was probably NOT a good idea is a bold faced liar... either that or I am just "more human" than most of you and though I try to help my children to aspire to greatness, I also realize that THEY ARE HUMAN and FALLIBLE TOO.
grlpwrd said:
My father did something very similar and at 33 - I still have the "fear". In high school I wasn't allowed to date (I was 19 on my first date) and my father's reasoning
first the movies then gonorrhea. My mother thought he was crazy but wasn't about to argue with him either and frankly nor was I.There were no questions, no reasoning and the house was armed like fort knox - no one getting in and no one getting out unless escorted.
All in all - it wasn't a bad a thing, a bit extreme but I think I turned out pretty good. (for the most part...... there is that thing with the glasses though....... HAHAHHAA!)
Bikini Mod
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19?! Damn, I was 16 and I thought THAT was bad! LOL
Gotta luv the good ole days, bringing home the sweaty-palmed, pimply-faced boys all nervous and shit to meet my parents!
HEHehehehehehehehheee
I LOVED IT!!!!
Then when my younger sister started dating I was the one to REALLY give those skinny geeks hell!
Ooooooooooooooo just think about it. Little fireplug ME will be threatening some kid that will probably be over a foot taller than me with a serious ass-whoppin' if he harms my daughter!
BWAHAHAhahahahahahhahahahaahhaa
My oldest is 10 1/2 so I guess I better hit the weights hard, eh? Another 5 1/2 years to put on some quality mass!
Gotta luv the good ole days, bringing home the sweaty-palmed, pimply-faced boys all nervous and shit to meet my parents!
HEHehehehehehehehheee
I LOVED IT!!!!
Then when my younger sister started dating I was the one to REALLY give those skinny geeks hell!
Ooooooooooooooo just think about it. Little fireplug ME will be threatening some kid that will probably be over a foot taller than me with a serious ass-whoppin' if he harms my daughter!
BWAHAHAhahahahahahhahahahaahhaa
My oldest is 10 1/2 so I guess I better hit the weights hard, eh? Another 5 1/2 years to put on some quality mass!
T
The Shadow
Guest
velvett said:
.....not exactly my point......knowledge of birth control is not power......
its only until you apply that knowledge to a given circumstance(ie ( wear a rubber) that the knowledge is actually usefull.
Knowing that Aids is spread thru blood, etc...is not power....its knowledge.....applying that knowledge makes it powerfull....otherwise it is a useless fact
W
Warik
Guest
beastboy said:
How so?
beastboy said:
My views currently are that teenage girls shouldn't be out and about being fucked by anything with a penis. I take it you encourage your daughter to participate in such behavior?
-Warik
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Frackal
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velvett said:My only objection with it is that it should be teenage BOYS and GIRLS and probably not even teenage, more like 9 or 10. I understand from teachers that 1st graders are now having sex
I would provide them with so much information about birth control, AIDS and parenthood; including photos/slides of genitial infected with all sorts of STD's, that FEAR would over take any desire to explore sex anytime soon.
Knowledge may be power, but fear, now that's some control factor.
I first frenched kissed a girl in 3rd grade (Rikki) and felt 'boobies' in 5th (Jessica)...
W
Warik
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beastboy said:
So, you don't believe in free will? Do you think we are all just mindless automatons that exist aimlessly for a few decades and then vanish without a trace? Sorry dude... we all have free will and this free will is influenced by the environment in which we grew up. My kids won't live in a fucked up household where they are taught that this stuff is acceptable.
-Warik
W
Warik
Guest
I never said it wasn't possible that I'd have a daughter. I said I'd rather have boys. Of course I do plan to have more than one child and hope that at least one will be a boy and at least one will be a girl.
And I know that they have free will as well. The key is that "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Free will lets you grab a shotgun and go blast people... doesn't mean that you do it.
-Warik
And I know that they have free will as well. The key is that "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Free will lets you grab a shotgun and go blast people... doesn't mean that you do it.
-Warik
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