One a cheater always a cheater?

[MissJanet79]

Who believes in that saying? Do you think that if a person cheats in the early stages of a relationship, & then "regrets it" - can a person turn their lives around for the better? Can this person be trusted? (Male or female).

 

[The_Ghost]

My personal believe is no. If a person ever cheated on me, I am gone and I wouldn't look back.

From what I have have observed in people, it just gets easier after the first time.

 

[the_only_sepe]

cant trust em, shit heads!

grounds for immediate termination!

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I am with Dawgy on this, I can forgive a lot of things but not cheating!

 

[tripleblonde]

keeping in mind that i have had a guy cheat on me before, my answer would be no to once a cheater always a cheater....
people CAN change. that particular relationship never went anywhere, but it was dead in the water regardless of his mistake. But to say that a person could never change their heart or their motives is absurd, people can change, I've changed in a lot of areas in my life where people never thought or believed I would.

 

[Mandinka2]

Define cheating , I could live with a kiss , nothing more - early stages ? So were they already sleeping with the first person... if so then that's a lot worse.
Been cheated on twice...never cheated.

 

[MissJanet79]

keeping in mind that i have had a guy cheat on me before, my answer would be no to once a cheater always a cheater....
people CAN change. that particular relationship never went anywhere, but it was dead in the water regardless of his mistake. But to say that a person could never change their heart or their motives is absurd, people can change, I've changed in a lot of areas in my life where people never thought or believed I would.

Pretty good point there TB... I guess it's all about the person - is the relationship worth saving & if it not then you'll let them go anyway & not give them a chance to change b/c they're not worth the effort.
I've been cheated on plenty of times, but I didn't take them back only 'cause they weren't worth my time. But I can say I do believe that people can change... it's only if they WANT to change.

 

[Silent Method]

Yes, some people who cheat in the early stages of a relationship will knock it off later. But how would YOU know? This is just another reason why cheating inherently sucks.

Trust is a decision you make, it's a gamble. Trust is not something you give only when faithfulness is guaranteed. If faithfulness were guaranteed their would be no need for trust!

The impact of cheating on a relationship is not universal. There is no single answer to your question.

 

[MissJanet79]

Define cheating , I could live with a kiss , nothing more - early stages ? So were they already sleeping with the first person... if so then that's a lot worse.
Been cheated on twice...never cheated.

Cheating to me is anything intimate shared between 2 people... kissing, sex, even talking - people have emotional affairs all the time (example: internet chatting etc.). Early stages would be when you know you love the person but not quite sure if you're ready to say you'd get married or that you're in LOVE with that person. And say that he/she met someone during that "stage" & slept with them.

Been cheated on plenty... cheated - NEVER!

 

[lucidblue]

I've seen both... people that cheat and keep doing it relationship after relationship and two people that have completely changed. I'd say that I believe the majority don't change.

 

[hamstershaver]

people can change, and there is nothing wrong with getting some strange kitty on the side every now and then anyhoo

 

[Daisy_Girl]

I think people CAN change. Everyone has the ability within themselves to bring about change, good or bad. It's just a matter of whether or not they want to change. YOu can't change for someone else, to please someone else. You'd have to change to please yourself - otherwise you will eventually revert back to your old ways.

If someone cheats on me, well, I would have a hard time getting over it. May depend on the specific situation. I wouldn't say I would never forgive them - afterall, I am not perfect either. While I may forgive them, trusting them again would be a VERY VERY long road to travel. Hell, my BF lied to me about some phone calls to ex-GFs and it took me around a year to get past that lying. Can't imagine how long it would have taken if he actually cheated!!

 

[GoldenDelicious]

depends on what the person was doing before the relationship started, and if the relationship is clearly defined/established. if the relationship was serious and exclusive and they cheat, then no, they cant be trusted, imo. actually, more than that, i think the relationship lacks trust and is trash from the beginning, so boot them and be glad.

if on the other hand the relationship didnt have a nicely defined start point, there wasnt a feeling of real exclusivity...ie that blurry period before a relationship gets off the ground, then the guy might be worth another try (if the distrust isnt too fargone already). i know a lot of guys who have done just this and have ended up marrying the girl, having kids, and not cheating (i have seen them get offers in hotel rooms where there was NO chance of getting caught, and they still said no. i go to some interesting hotel room parties )

why, whats the scoop?

 

[MissJanet79]

why, whats the scoop?

It's just a question...a friend of mine is going through some ROUGH times. She was suspicious that her man was cheating on her & she found out he did back in December. Well he claims he's been good to her since they have been living together & swears up & down that he'd never want to risk losing her again. She's having a hard time believing this as I would too. I was curious to see what you guys thought.

 

[jd_uk]

No, Anyone can change.

 

[Robert Jan]

Who cares? There's better people to worry about

 

[GoldenDelicious]

It's just a question...a friend of mine is going through some ROUGH times. She was suspicious that her man was cheating on her & she found out he did back in December. Well he claims he's been good to her since they have been living together & swears up & down that he'd never want to risk losing her again. She's having a hard time believing this as I would too. I was curious to see what you guys thought.

i could forgive him for cheating, but not for getting caught...dummie

 

[MissJanet79]

i could forgive him for cheating, but not for getting caught...dummie

LOL
I'm worse than she is... I'm freakin' NANCY DREW when it comes to that. I can tell when my man lies to me or is hiding something. I won't even question it either...not until I have proof. Normally after that it's over. But again, those were pointless relationships which weren't worth my time. But I've done a pretty good job of finding out - some of my ex's were pretty good but not good enough.

 

[Mandinka2]

Cheating to me is anything intimate shared between 2 people... kissing, sex, even talking - people have emotional affairs all the time (example: internet chatting etc.). Early stages would be when you know you love the person but not quite sure if you're ready to say you'd get married or that you're in LOVE with that person. And say that he/she met someone during that "stage" & slept with them.

Been cheated on plenty... cheated - NEVER!

Then I'd burn them down and start from scratch....that's way too much. Talking though is pretty strong - although I do see and agree with you - but you really be ready to break up with someone you truly loved if you overheard them flirting ? A long time ago I was with someone and she was bothered by other girls hugging me and I was seriously bothered by her dancing with other guys - but I didn't break up when she didn't keep her side of the bargain - mostly cos her (female) friends said I was a jealous asshole and should be happy so many guys wanted to dance with her (if I had a penny huh?). I wasnt bothered by the other guys wanting , i was bothered by her agreeing and breaking her promise to me...... truth b told most people can't/don't want to keep that level of commitment goin.

 

[dj1000]

I cheated on almost all of my girlfriends before I met my wife. I could tell they were more of just casual relationships or flings at the time, so it just sort of happened. When I first met my wife, I was dating another girl and eventually ended up cheating on her. My wife knew of my past, obviously, but she trusted me and understood my reasonings. In the 6 years that I have been with her, I have been a good little boy. Its not that I changed, just grew up and knew who I wanted to be with.

 

[Robert Jan]

LOL
I'm worse than she is... I'm freakin' NANCY DREW when it comes to that. I can tell when my man lies to me or is hiding something. I won't even question it either...not until I have proof. Normally after that it's over. But again, those were pointless relationships which weren't worth my time. But I've done a pretty good job of finding out - some of my ex's were pretty good but not good enough.

but men lie ALL the time. calling a man out for lying is like playing basketball with a retarded kid and calling him for dribble errors

 

[dj1000]

but men lie ALL the time. calling a man out for lying is like playing basketball with a retarded kid and calling him for dribble errors

I almost spit my water all over the screen. Now thats some funny shit.