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There is a lesson here. Never take in a friend "down on his luck" if you have your girl living with you. They always end up fucking the guy, its an instinct that is stronger than any one relationship.
OK, I'll bare my soul. Give me your opinion.
- Thread starter Rotten
- Start date
The Architect
New member
Rotten that is one fucked up story. I felt ill reading your words, kind of made me sad. If you stay with her you will be replaying it in your head and it will drive you crazy. The dreams will not stop beleive me. 3 years later I'm still having bad dreams about my ex stepping out on me. Bottom line she betrayed you- and you will never have piece of mind. At one point I decided to cheat on my girlfriend to get back at her, made me feel better in short run, but not having that trust will eventually wear you thin if you cheat or not. But now your have this other element which is your son. Maybe staying with your wife is something that you have to do for him. I really hope things work out for you bro- thanks for sharing your story- and keep up the good fight.
Night Fly
New member
Rotten,
I can honestly say that you are one strong person for sticking with this. I will tell you this....you CAN get past that hurt. It is obvious how much you love your wife...and yes...it was a horrible thing what she and your so-called 'best friend' did you to...BUT...you DO love her. Just do yourself a favor and don't get the attitude....well "YOU owe me this, you OWE me that." So what...treat her well and if she truly loves you and is truly sorry...things will work out in the end.
The hurt may never fully go away...but it will fade with time. I agree MOST of the time with people when they say, once a cheater always a cheater...but Madbomber had a good point. Some people screw up ONCE and only once. This could be one of those times.
You know what to do...and you will make the right decision. You just have to put all else aside and re-learn to trust your wife again. You are taking a risk, that's for sure...but it is worth it to you....I can tell. I think that's awesome... If it falls through at least you can say that you tried.
Good luck with everything...you seem like a wonderful person who deserves a good life. Definitely spend time in counseling with your wife to work on your marriage. That can help relieve some of the hurt and pain that you are experiencing. If this is really want you want to do...(sticking it out)...put your everything into it...and I'm sure that you won't be disappointed.
This may seem a bit naive...but it's my .02 and it's how I would handle the situation.
I can honestly say that you are one strong person for sticking with this. I will tell you this....you CAN get past that hurt. It is obvious how much you love your wife...and yes...it was a horrible thing what she and your so-called 'best friend' did you to...BUT...you DO love her. Just do yourself a favor and don't get the attitude....well "YOU owe me this, you OWE me that." So what...treat her well and if she truly loves you and is truly sorry...things will work out in the end.
The hurt may never fully go away...but it will fade with time. I agree MOST of the time with people when they say, once a cheater always a cheater...but Madbomber had a good point. Some people screw up ONCE and only once. This could be one of those times.
You know what to do...and you will make the right decision. You just have to put all else aside and re-learn to trust your wife again. You are taking a risk, that's for sure...but it is worth it to you....I can tell. I think that's awesome... If it falls through at least you can say that you tried.
Good luck with everything...you seem like a wonderful person who deserves a good life. Definitely spend time in counseling with your wife to work on your marriage. That can help relieve some of the hurt and pain that you are experiencing. If this is really want you want to do...(sticking it out)...put your everything into it...and I'm sure that you won't be disappointed.
This may seem a bit naive...but it's my .02 and it's how I would handle the situation.
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Frackal
Guest
See! Look how sick women are with their reasoning!! The guy is "spending too much time at work" PROVIDING for her and so her logical solution is to go fuck his best friend? WTF, no excuses for this crap... Rotten for the love of god at least get a paternity test man....
F
Frackal
Guest
BTW - How many times did it happen? Did it REALLLY just happen once? I guess you dont know...if you do know that it did really happen more than once I would say get the fuck out of there
Puc
Banned
Frackal said:
frack when i first read this i thought it was only one time... but the last post there rotten says that the friend was talking about his wife... that means it must have happened before the day she called. it isn't like she did it, rolled out of bed, and called him. No. She did it, she did it many more times than once.
slickdadd
New member
Frackal makes a good point, which i will base my statement around. If it only happened once. I will assume it did. If not, then it is inexcusable and a complete and utter lack of respect barring no excuses.
As for the rest, I think the feeling she went through cheating on you probably was pretty hard on her as well, as difficult as that may be to believe. She obviously loves you, seeing as she is your wife and has chosen to spend her life with you and have kids with you. Think of the hurt and guilt you would have if you slipped up and made a very bad choice and let a situation turn into something such as cheating. It certainly isn't good on either side, but I'm sure it was killing her inside also, in turn, perhaps teaching a large lesson and only making the relationship stronger if you do go through with it.
It would take a very unique situation for me to be able to stay with someone that cheated on me, but I could see myself doing it. It is a complete slap in the face which bring out primal urges to seek revenge and just bail because of the direct hurt it causes. Although like havoc said, you have to look beyond those and see it from a higher level, as mistakes do happen. No one is perfect. Some mistakes are larger than others, but nonetheless, people screw up. Doesn't mean it had any direct malice or intent to hurt.
I am still a young'un so i don't know the feeling of being a father, but that combined with everything else, I don't think I could let it go either. On a positive note, Just think if the relationship doesn't end from this (which it looks like isn't going to happen), at the very least it will be much stronger after going through this
As for the rest, I think the feeling she went through cheating on you probably was pretty hard on her as well, as difficult as that may be to believe. She obviously loves you, seeing as she is your wife and has chosen to spend her life with you and have kids with you. Think of the hurt and guilt you would have if you slipped up and made a very bad choice and let a situation turn into something such as cheating. It certainly isn't good on either side, but I'm sure it was killing her inside also, in turn, perhaps teaching a large lesson and only making the relationship stronger if you do go through with it.
It would take a very unique situation for me to be able to stay with someone that cheated on me, but I could see myself doing it. It is a complete slap in the face which bring out primal urges to seek revenge and just bail because of the direct hurt it causes. Although like havoc said, you have to look beyond those and see it from a higher level, as mistakes do happen. No one is perfect. Some mistakes are larger than others, but nonetheless, people screw up. Doesn't mean it had any direct malice or intent to hurt.
I am still a young'un so i don't know the feeling of being a father, but that combined with everything else, I don't think I could let it go either. On a positive note, Just think if the relationship doesn't end from this (which it looks like isn't going to happen), at the very least it will be much stronger after going through this
ThePolishHammer
New member
fawk. I dont think i have the expierience to really comment on that situation. Does anybody?
If my girlfriend fucked my friend. I couldnt touch her again. She fucked some other dude while i was away, and the thought of fucking her again dosent do shit for me anymore. And this guy. Fuck i think im gonna smash his head into a post when i meet him.
but.
I dont have a childredn i have to worry about. That changes everything.
I dont believe in divorce. Thats not an option to me. But i dont know how i would live with a woman that did that to me. Actually sure I do. I would live with her, and that was it. Id pay for her to eat, and to have a place to stay. So she could sit her ass on the couch and take care of MY children. Making very clear to her that they are no longer hers. That she dosent deserve them. And that if necessary, given the circumstances, you could leave her and take them with you. And you have the money, and shed be fucked.
I dont know how id fuck her again though. I dont even know how id ever say "I love you" to her again.
Just reading this pisses me off. I hate women.
And btw, for not ditching her right there. For not doing the things most peoplewere probably thinking theyd do after reading this post. I can officially say you are one tough son of a bitch.
That takes more than balls, that takes courage.
Good luck.
If my girlfriend fucked my friend. I couldnt touch her again. She fucked some other dude while i was away, and the thought of fucking her again dosent do shit for me anymore. And this guy. Fuck i think im gonna smash his head into a post when i meet him.
but.
I dont have a childredn i have to worry about. That changes everything.
I dont believe in divorce. Thats not an option to me. But i dont know how i would live with a woman that did that to me. Actually sure I do. I would live with her, and that was it. Id pay for her to eat, and to have a place to stay. So she could sit her ass on the couch and take care of MY children. Making very clear to her that they are no longer hers. That she dosent deserve them. And that if necessary, given the circumstances, you could leave her and take them with you. And you have the money, and shed be fucked.
I dont know how id fuck her again though. I dont even know how id ever say "I love you" to her again.
Just reading this pisses me off. I hate women.
And btw, for not ditching her right there. For not doing the things most peoplewere probably thinking theyd do after reading this post. I can officially say you are one tough son of a bitch.
That takes more than balls, that takes courage.
Good luck.
i would think about a paternity test now....it would give you an upper hand should your ''friend'' turn up again.....
whether or not you get one now or wait a little, or of you even tell your wife your getting one is up to you
did she have the affair whilst suffering post partum depression? and if you do find him, dont land yourself in jail. call up the cops, tell them all the things he;s done that are illegal and have him picked up
whether or not you get one now or wait a little, or of you even tell your wife your getting one is up to you
did she have the affair whilst suffering post partum depression? and if you do find him, dont land yourself in jail. call up the cops, tell them all the things he;s done that are illegal and have him picked up
Rotten
New member
Do I think she'll ever cheat again. No, for a few reasons. 1)She knows she fucked up(literally) and I think she is honestly never going to do something that selfish again. I am pretty even tempered most of the time, but I didn't hold back on her that day. I never have or never would hit her, but I felt it pushing the envelope that day.
Honestly I know it takes two to tango, but the whole time I was thinking that I couldn't lose her. I'm not scared of being alone, I've been alone before. I'm not worried about not being able to find someone either, this beautiful redhead that goes to my gym came on to me in a big way the same time I found out. I didn't even touch her, but I kept thinking "Why not?". I knew it would just make it worse for us if we did stay together. I'll be honest that I did think about it.
As far as my son is concerned I KNOW he is mine without getting a Paternity test. If I put his baby pic next to mine you could not tell us apart. He looks like me, he acts like me, he sleeps like me. The other day he and I were just waking up and my wife walked in the bedroom from taking a shower. We both yawned the exact same way at the exact same time, then we both streched the same way at the same time. Plus I will never get the test done because if he isn't mine I never would want to know. I love that kid so much and the thought of him not being my son would kill me, literally.
Rotten
Honestly I know it takes two to tango, but the whole time I was thinking that I couldn't lose her. I'm not scared of being alone, I've been alone before. I'm not worried about not being able to find someone either, this beautiful redhead that goes to my gym came on to me in a big way the same time I found out. I didn't even touch her, but I kept thinking "Why not?". I knew it would just make it worse for us if we did stay together. I'll be honest that I did think about it.
As far as my son is concerned I KNOW he is mine without getting a Paternity test. If I put his baby pic next to mine you could not tell us apart. He looks like me, he acts like me, he sleeps like me. The other day he and I were just waking up and my wife walked in the bedroom from taking a shower. We both yawned the exact same way at the exact same time, then we both streched the same way at the same time. Plus I will never get the test done because if he isn't mine I never would want to know. I love that kid so much and the thought of him not being my son would kill me, literally.
Rotten
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