Sorry, the post was actually half a joke and half serious. But heres the BBQ story that Linux so graciously brought up.
My g/f who is Polish dragged me to this Polish fucking B-day party about a month or 2 ago. We get there and everyone is drunk out of their fucking minds, my g/f gets drunk and is loading within an hr of being there. Anyway, this girl asks me to get her a burger from the grill, so I grab the tongs and proceed to the BBQ to get it for her. Next thing I know, this drunk ass Polish guy (and he wasnt an old man as linux would have you believe) gets up from the table, grabs the tongs from me and starts yelling at me in Polish to get the fuck away from the BBQ and starts going mental and attacks me. So anyway, I pick this stupid fucking Polack up in the air and drop him like a true Irish man. So after I throw him to the ground, he starts swinging at my face, and if you ever saw me, you would know that my looks are very stunning and I cant have anyone touch my beautiful face. So I grab his arms and pin the to the ground with my legs and proceed to grab his head and run it off the concrete till he's out like a light. I started to get up, but he came to and tried to take another swing at me, so I hold him with my left and and beat him silly with my right fist until he's out again and my g/f is yelling at me and screaming to god. Anyway, the whole party lasted about an 1 1/2 and I came home with a broken thumb for some strange reason and bloody knuckles.