Office Personalities

[slickdadd]

I'd say most personalities in our offices across america are quite alike in many respects. I'm going to contribute one that entertains me here. We have our sports guy employee. He is a little younger then everyone else, and hasn't been here but for around a year. It doesn't matter who it is, what time of year, what time of day, or how appropriate the situation, the sight of someone instantly springs out sports talk. And i don't mean sometimes, or a lot. I'm talking 100 percent, no doubt about it, mathematically sound. It is like a great white shark to blood. "Hey how bout that game saturday?" "What do you think of this guy, and this team, etc." Keep in mind these are 50 year old women a majority of the time having to try and sift through his very often times technical sports babble. I imagine through his eyes, its a sort of cyborgish robocop green and white thermovision interface, with lots of grids and rulers. The sight of human on his screen and he locks on and goes in for the kill. I should test this theory by throwing a rabbit out in front of him to see if he chases after it to ask it about the steelers game last night. I also have a theory if i changed the subject suddenly in the midst of his sports chat, he would begin to spark and smoke and fall apart like in the movies. This goes for everyone else in the office and their small talk as well.

Anyway, thats what I think. I've gotta go liberate some feces. Who else am i forgetting in the office?

 

[Bullit]

I imagine through his eyes, its a sort of cyborgish robocop green and white thermovision interface, with lots of grids and rulers. The sight of human on his screen and he locks on and goes in for the kill. I should test this theory by throwing a rabbit out in front of him to see if he chases after it to ask it about the steelers game last night.

LOL.
Funny.

 

[vixenbabe]

The griper:The one who is always bitchin about other people in his/her office.

 

[supertech69]

The ass kisser: One who does absolutely nothing all day long except find meetings to go into so that he can agree with the person who keeps promoting his lazy ass.

 

[supersizeme]

lol at your robocop reference

every office also has a resident meteorologist. someone is always wanting to talk about the weather. just the other day i walked into the bathroom and there was Storm McForecast at one of the two stalls. so i rolled up to the other stall to spill some urine and not two seconds into my stream the weather conversation began. fortunately i had watched the weather report that morning so i was able to contribute instead of nodding and going "yeah it sure is nice out today...hope it stays this way for the weekend."

then there's "thank god it's friday" guy. he only talks a lot one day of the week though. the other four days he's usually mumbling something about "wish it was friday!!!"

 

[FreeballinDC]

The Hen.

There is a lady in our office who always imagines the worst whenever new changes are mandated.

As an example, there were rumors that our office could merge with another office and move outside the beltway. One of the places that was mentioned was in another state. I told her this was a remote possibility, but she took it as the absolute truth.

Whenever anybody came in the office and started discussing moving, she immediately chimed in about moving to this remote location. It drove me crazy.

 

[pushing_fe]

The "I'm going to argue with my ex-husband on the phone so loud that everyone in the office can hear me" lady.

This lady just happens to sit across from my cube and she has probably been divorced for a year now, but her ex still feels the need to call up here at least once a week. She usually lays into him pretty good. "I thought I told your not to call me at work no more!" is usually a clear indication that you should scurry to the breakroom if you want to avoid the carnage!

This lady is a total redneck as well, trailer, Trans-am and all. She will cuss him at the top of her lungs about not picking the kids up last weekend. Not paying his motorcycle payments that are financed in her name. It's all I can do to not bust out laughing.