Newspaper headlines I would like to see

[AAP]

China denies human rights abuse. Promises only to torture their athletes that fail to win as opposed to killing them.

Some bag married to Bill Clinton shows up at rally and calls herself an Obama Supporter.

Police give teenager wangsta ticket for bad taste and posing.

Ms Jolie calls story of 4 day old child in Africa she hasn't adopted yet "just a myth".

And the winner of Americas Best Little Projects Design Award goes to......

Cindy McCain refuses to come home from biker gang bang.

 

[lartinos]

How about:
Parapalegic wanted for double homicide
or
Gun Rights activist shoots himself
or
Michael Jackson gives birth to child

 

[lartinos]

or:
White groups protest against Al Sharpton

 

[AAP]

or:
White groups protest against Al Sharpton

Ooohhh... I like that one.