New Language for Southern Schools

[BaBa-BooeY]

The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland is about to cash in with the Feds by labeling Black slang, "Ebonics," as a language, has decided to pursue some of that endless taxpayer money pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

A speaker of this would be a Hickophone.

Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - noun. The state just west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Lanner, and boy my arms are tarred."

FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'all."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor? Go bah me that Dash Rip Rock tape"

GUBMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmit boys shore are ignert."

 

[BaBa-BooeY]

bump

 

[The Varnsen]

bump

 

[Kryp2o]

LOL . . . You forgot sensuous:

Sensuous up you can go get me another beer.

 

[TxCollegeguy]

Thats Howdy not Heidi