Need some support.

[HANSEL]

Ok, I am starting back at ground zero here.

I no longer drink, smoke cigarettes, and this has been my first day without taking a bong hit in years....

I have been eating a pretty weird diet the last year and my workout routine wasnt so great. So I am embarking on a new diet, its been hard too, the last few days I have been binging like crazy. And I have a great new split setup and I am going to join a new gym that has all the proper equip I need.

I have been fired and have also switched my major recently so I have alot of school again and will be looking for a PT job.

I broke up with my gf a few days ago, and their is no chance to reconcile.

So I need a new diet, new gym/routine, new GF, get motivated for classes, find a job, and just get through each day without resorting to a bong hit. Damn.

I dont know what I am even asking, just had to put this into words and read it myself...

Regards,
HANSEL?

 

[gmanlax7]

ok first off go rip the bong then we'll talk

 

[HANSEL]

Thats all I can think about..........

 

[frorider6]

The best workouts I ever did were centered around basic lifts like squats and deadlifts. My progress in both of those events energized me in my regular life like nothing else. Try putting some 1-2 rep heavy deadlifting into your workouts.

 

[Lao Tzu]

This is totally half assed armchair psych, but when people change alot of things at once their sense of self identity can crumble or become confused. When people say "i am......etc, etc." they usually refer to their surroundings (i am a husband, mechanic, 24, white, male, etc). Changing alot of things about yoruself at once can lead to destabalization. I am guessing in 2 months you will be ok.

 

[Bikini Mod]

So I need a new diet, new gym/routine, new GF, get motivated for classes, find a job, and just get through each day without resorting to a bong hit. Damn.

Why "the need" for a GF? Make it all about YOU.

 

[Bikini Mod]

This is totally half assed armchair psych, but when people change alot of things at once their sense of self identity can crumble or become confused. When people say "i am......etc, etc." they usually refer to their surroundings (i am a husband, mechanic, 24, white, male, etc). Changing alot of things about yoruself at once can lead to destabalization. I am guessing in 2 months you will be ok.

You can change all the extraneous stuff around you and it won't make a damned bit of difference - same problems just w/diff people or diff/surroundings.

YOU HAVE TO CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE FIRST!

Then everything else will take care of itself. Trust me on this one.

"Act the way you want to be and soon you will become the way that you have been acting."

 

[Baoh]

This is totally half assed armchair psych, but when people change alot of things at once their sense of self identity can crumble or become confused. When people say "i am......etc, etc." they usually refer to their surroundings (i am a husband, mechanic, 24, white, male, etc). Changing alot of things about yoruself at once can lead to destabalization. I am guessing in 2 months you will be ok.

It can also just pave the way for a massive transformation.

HANSEL- Just commit to the new lifestyle for a mere six months (that's not a long time). See how you look and feel at the end of those six months. Evaluate from there.

 

[Raina]

For me, when I've been a mess really setting up a good diet/training schedule has helped me out A LOT because it provided me with 1) a more stable schedule, 2) an outlet to lower my stress, 3) something to keep me busy instead of fretting about stuff, and 4) made me feel stronger mentally and physically.

I hope that you are able to feel that same way!! It's scary to spend time with just "yourself" when you've been distracted by external forces for a while....but after a while it's nifty to sort out your problems and be comfy just being alone.

Good luck!

 

[gettinlarger]

You'll be okay broly. Hang in there.

 

[HANSEL]

Thanks for the help all. Sincerely.

Theres alot of good advice here for me to read through and apply. Im feeling more positive about this already.

 

[Lao Tzu]

You can change all the extraneous stuff around you and it won't make a damned bit of difference - same problems just w/diff people or diff/surroundings.

YOU HAVE TO CHANGE FROM THE INSIDE FIRST!

Then everything else will take care of itself. Trust me on this one.

"Act the way you want to be and soon you will become the way that you have been acting."

Yes you can. Cults do it all the time, and i read alot of cult literature. When they find a new recruit, they try to destabalize their identity in a variety of ways. They change their clothes, hair, reactions, city, job, etc. ALl these things have the effect of making the individual inside more succeptable to having a personality shift. Cutting secure ties to the outside world destabalizes an individual's identity.

 

[Mad4Iron]

Yes you can. Cults do it all the time, and i read alot of cult literature. When they find a new recruit, they try to destabalize their identity in a variety of ways. They change their clothes, hair, reactions, city, job, etc. ALl these things have the effect of making the individual inside more succeptable to having a personality shift. Cutting secure ties to the outside world destabalizes an individual's identity.

Sounds like Marine Corp Boot camp

Mad

 

[Big Brother Val]

First off, it's good to see you laying off the alcohol and pot and shit like that. Making decisions like that prove that your head is on straight. The rest of it just threw you out of your comfort zone, so every aspect of your life is changing.

Personally, I'd really take a look at where I was standing, if I were you. It takes a lot of guts to be in your position and keep your head up, and not run back to some of those other elements that you are used to.

Forget about the girlfriend bit... if you get involved with one now, you're just going to become co-dependant, and you'll put all your fear and confusion into her, and she'll walk all over you for it.

That old "it will get better with time" stuff that everyone hates to hear really does apply in this situation.

Mush on, champ.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Yes you can. Cults do it all the time, and i read alot of cult literature. When they find a new recruit, they try to destabalize their identity in a variety of ways. They change their clothes, hair, reactions, city, job, etc. ALl these things have the effect of making the individual inside more succeptable to having a personality shift. Cutting secure ties to the outside world destabalizes an individual's identity.

I see exactly what you are saying however, I want you to consider this:

The same is true with military and imprisonment where YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. This isn't the situation here because he has free will. For all intense purposes HE is calling the shots. When YOU are the only one calling the shots you have to start with YOU.

Also consider this, when many military, ex-inmates leave the controlled environment the have a hard time adjusting sometimes. I am sure the same is with a cult.

If he changes the way that he feels ABOUT HIMSELF FIRST, he will undoubtedly make better EXTERNAL choices, ie - different friends, different health habits.