Need girlfriend help

[biggeek]

Ok everyone.. get prepared for a long story.. i'm bored and looking to vent.. ha ha..

My girl and I have been together about a year and a half.. met right after I graduated high school actually, she is about 6 months older than me. We are both 20 right now. She is hands down one of the most attractive girls I've ever met, with makeup or without. Still just as gorgeous.. and has a body to die for. Blond hair, green eyes, 5'4'' and around 105lbs. Petite girl. Anyway, we fell head over heels for each other once I finally got her to go out with me, took me a few weeks but I had the game and was charming and she came around. Well, since then, a LOT of shit has gone on and gone down. From the very start she was always very insecure and very jealous of a female friend that I had from 7th grade, we were always very close but never in a relationship sort of way, I was in NO way attracted to this girl but we were like kindred souls, shared a lot of things in common, probably would have dated her had I been even slightly attracted to her, but oh well.. but my girlfriend just started hating her for no reason. Everyone and their mother knew that me and my female friend had NOTHING going on ever but she decided she wanted to be controlling and jealous and soon I was not allowed to speak to her at all. Kind of hurt me a little bit I went with it like a dumbass. To this day we will argue about that girl, I can't help but stand up for someone that was there for me so much growing up and my girlfriend doesn't even know her, just likes to be bitchy. Anyway, onward.. I can safely say that in our entire relationship I was NEVER really trusted. She would say she trusted me but it was a joke really because as soon as something sketchy would come up she would come up with more BS than a tabloid paper. She would come up with things outta left field that she even knew couldn't be true but just wanted to exert her control and be bitchy. I used to just go with it. I eventually got "banned" from my local mall because that girl I was friends with and forbid to see (for no reason mind you.. seriously.. ) got a job at a store there.. and the only way i could go to the mall was with my girlfriend.. and if i went anywhere near the town where my old friend lived.. i got questioned like I just committed murder.. To this day.. and it's been like this for the whole relationship pretty much.. i get between 10-15 calls a day atleast and for the most part all the conversation consists of is.. "what are you doing.. what have you been doing.. where have you been.. who were you with.. etc. etc." Like keeping tabs on me constantly.. i've started doing it to her as well but i really feel its stupid but I'm trying to make her realize how stupid she is being.. Now there was a time.. about 4 months ago that I screwed up a little.. i was fed up with our relationship and wanting a way out but she would not make it easy.. I couldn't get free!.. so i started looking around at other options and women.. and out of the blue got back in touch with an old girlfriend that i had broken up with.. not by our choice.. and we had always had feelings for each other.. so instead of telling my girlfriend it was over.. i started seeing my old girlfriend again.. well.. you can see where this is going.. i got caught.. i really never did anything.. and only saw her once for like 15 minutes.. but still.. i should have been honest instead of being sneaky but I didn't know what to do to get rid of her!.. We stayed broken up for about 2 weeks.. i got back in touch with my female friend that I was barred from talking too.. told her how sorry I was for just ditching her and being such a bitch and letting my girlfriend control me and being the great friend she was.. she completely understood.. now this whole time.. me and my girlfriend are technically broken up and she still is calling constantly.. i spent the night at a friends house and left my cell in the car and when I got in my car the next morning.. i had 23 missed calls from her!! Well.. i was stupid and me and my girlfriend started talking again.. she apolgized for some things.. as did I.. and being the dumbass I am.. we decided to get back together.. well.. things were ok for a while.. but is was like i was always skating on thin ice.. and if i slipped up or just anything.. she would bring up all this past shit that has happened to try and make me feel bad and justify her jealousy and control.. i just kept thinking.. I can't live the rest of my life like this.. and have told her that.. and her excuse is if I hadn't screwed up it wouldn't be like this.. I know that isn't true.. anyway.. she's holding me back in all aspects of life.. i'm too young to be so tied down.. she thinks bodybuilding is stupid.. and gets jealous over the money i spend on supplements even though I have never NOT spent money on her in some way.. I want to go to GATech to further my education and she bitches because she can't go.. instead of supporting me and my future.. I mean.. i could seriously just go on and on with stories and things.. but I'll keep it to this unless there is a request for more stories.. ha ha.. but seriously.. i want some advice.. what do ya'll think.. is this girl worth all this shit.. i mean.. i would almost rather be single for the rest of my life than live like this.. but i'm really hoping for some advice from the women.. how do i get out of this relationship without the backlash.. i wanna be mature and open about this but she can be extremely close minded and has a bad temper.. any help is appreciated.. thanks for listening..

 

[rao740]

hey bro maybe all this shit you have said is ur answer i mean being hot is one thing but tis sounds like if she can't put things behind her then u will neevr ever be trusted again and theerfore there is no reason to be with her just remember there is always someone else out there who u will find 10x hotter than this girl becasue she see you and understand what u like and how u do things thats what it is bout and she will be hot too don't forget that

 

[theoak01]

bro Im not a chick but Im going through the same shit,minus the constant calling.

I really dont have much to add except I know how it feels and I have no idea why we do this to ourselves,sure we love them but we get treated like shit.

 

[DIVISION]

I've already answered this a million times already......

Where's the cut and paste option?

You SWV's are killing my ass!!!!!!




DIV

 

[biggeek]

bro Im not a chick but Im going through the same shit,minus the constant calling.

I really dont have much to add except I know how it feels and I have no idea why we do this to ourselves,sure we love them but we get treated like shit.

It's crazy man.. the constant calling was fine and good at first.. when we actually talked.. but after a year and a half.. talking on the phone 10x a day.. AND seeing them that night.. you run out of shit to say.. and just end up fighting.. ha ha.. i used to think the only reason i put up with the shit was because of her good looks and the "benefits" that come along with that.. but i don't even get those "benefits" anymore and could really care less if I do.. the only thing i can think of is that i'm used to it.. my sister and her have a lot in common.. personality wise.. so i guess i somehow got attracted to it.. although.. as usual.. she was NOTHING like this in the beginning.. love isn't worth the way we get treated man.. i used to say I love you like they do in the movies.. but now when i say it.. its like we've been married 50 years and who gives a damn.. I know there are girls 10x hotter and what not out there.. i'm not out for the looks.. i mean.. attractive yeah.. but drop dead gorgeous.. nope.. just want someone I can relate to and like me for me instead of trying to control me and shit.. it's crazy..

Are you trying to get out of your relationship your in now or anything?

 

[biggeek]

I've already answered this a million times already......

Where's the cut and paste option?

You SWV's are killing my ass!!!!!!




DIV

A million times DIV.. how so.. you've only got a little over 8k posts..
Guess I should have known the bashing would come back to get me eventually..

 

[theoak01]

well we split in sept,for 2 months(I enjoyed single life),then got back together,the first few weeks went great but now its back to the shit and im miserable again, I honestly think its more a security blanket then anything,which is sure hard to leave.

I also feel ya on that calling/seeing shit,Ive been with this girl since 17,im 20 now and christ I just wish I could go a day alone in peace and quiet,but she will call when I say Im busy,or pop in,it fucking drives me nuts. but it isnt that she is a bad person,I just dont see myself being with her long term because of the crazy jealousy bullshit.

right now Im suppose to be out of town with a friend and her family,but the gf flipped and I cancelled.and I feel like a bitch for letting her control me.

good luck with whatever you do man,it wont be easy

 

[DIVISION]

A million times DIV.. how so.. you've only got a little over 8k posts..
Guess I should have known the bashing would come back to get me eventually..

Nothing personal, GeekFreak.

Just that I've tried over and over to help these SWV's guys out with they problems and all they do is ignore my advice and come back with MORE problems to whine about.

You can lead a horse to water.......



DIV

 

[Dunk]

just want someone I can relate to and like me for me instead of trying to control me and shit

i hear you. just broke up with my girl. i thought to myself. shes hot. shes cool. but there were just too many problems and didnt know how i could possibly end this with out looking like a dirtbag.

dude its your life. take control. i did.

im single and it feels damn good. from now on im going to be a little more patient with the next one and learn from your ex's

looks mean shit. like you said. attractive. YEH. but she better be friggin cool!

 

[biggeek]

well we split in sept,for 2 months(I enjoyed single life),then got back together,the first few weeks went great but now its back to the shit and im miserable again, I honestly think its more a security blanket then anything,which is sure hard to leave.

I also feel ya on that calling/seeing shit,Ive been with this girl since 17,im 20 now and christ I just wish I could go a day alone in peace and quiet,but she will call when I say Im busy,or pop in,it fucking drives me nuts. but it isnt that she is a bad person,I just dont see myself being with her long term because of the crazy jealousy bullshit.

right now Im suppose to be out of town with a friend and her family,but the gf flipped and I cancelled.and I feel like a bitch for letting her control me.

good luck with whatever you do man,it wont be easy

We seriously are in the same situation.. lol.. we need to start a support group or something.. i agree with the security blanket thing.. i mean.. you've already got a hot girl.. that at TIMES can be cool.. so why leave that and risk never having it again?? that's shitty you bailed on your friend because your gf flipped.. but that sounds exactly like my girl.. especially if i was doing anything with a girl.. i so much as look at a girl and i get bitched at.. how did you end things the first time.. and was it bad?? our break up was bad.. name calling.. yelling.. all that fun stuff.. i would like to do away with all that and just seriously but maturely end it.. got any good advice man... lol

BTW.. thanks for the K man!!.. makes me feel a little better.. ha ha

 

[biggeek]

i hear you. just broke up with my girl. i thought to myself. shes hot. shes cool. but there were just too many problems and didnt know how i could possibly end this with out looking like a dirtbag.

dude its your life. take control. i did.

im single and it feels damn good. from now on im going to be a little more patient with the next one and learn from your ex's

looks mean shit. like you said. attractive. YEH. but she better be friggin cool!

Well then how did you break up with your girl without looking like a dirtbag.. i already did that once and looked like a dirtbag.. i would like not to do it twice but i was pretty much forced to the first time and i'm pretty sure it'll happen the same way the second time.. but your right.. being single feels damn good.. and i'm definatly gonna take a lot longer to get really attatched to my future women.. get past that puppy love stage and get into really knowing someone.. but actually.. i THOUGHT i had done that with this one.. but oh well.. looks do mean something.. i mean.. there has to be some sexual attraction between you.. or there is NO hope for a solid relationship.. but when we all get old.. we all get ugly anyway.. so that's when you really hope you got a good one..

 

[theoak01]

I started it as a break,then basically told her it was over,I needed to be on my own for a while,she was hurt,but slowly came around and we were friends,(dont do this they draw you back in) I still loved her the whole time,and prob always will to some extent,but I dont see me and her going near marriage because of this bullshit

the worst thing about bailing on my friend was after christmas she is going on vacation till school starts again,so I wont see her for almost a month now,and since we are all being so honest,I think I may be in love with this friend I blew off aswell as my girl,but she dont know that yet

 

[biggeek]

I started it as a break,then basically told her it was over,I needed to be on my own for a while,she was hurt,but slowly came around and we were friends,(dont do this they draw you back in) I still loved her the whole time,and prob always will to some extent,but I dont see me and her going near marriage because of this bullshit

the worst thing about bailing on my friend was after christmas she is going on vacation till school starts again,so I wont see her for almost a month now

Yeah.. being friends.. atleast not that soon.. NEVER works.. i know me and my girl could never get to marriage.. i mean.. we would have some good looking kids.. ha ha.. but still.. i would either be a drunk or kill myself or something.. couldn't handle the crap.. something i've slowly learned.. once you meet their parents.. take note.. that's more than likely how they will turn out..and in my case it was true.. her parents fight all the time and are crazy sometimes.. and she is the exact same way.. go figure.. i'm sorry to hear about bailing on your friend and not getting to see her.. i got "banned" from having any contact with my best friend since 7th grade.. and then when i started talking to her again when my gf and i broke up.. things were cool.. but then when i ditched her again to get back with my gf.. she got pretty pissed at me.. so i just cost myself one of the closest friendships i'd ever had for a girl.. i wanna break up bad.. just can never find the right time.. way.. place.. anything.. and it's the christmas season.. and it's just not a good time.. ha ha..

 

[theoak01]

brutal man, my girls parents hate me bad,Im 20 and in college and dont own my own car and barely get my familys one vehicle and these fucks told me I cant be in their car blah blah,tryin to break us up,which adds alot more strain on the relationship.and I have been nothing but respectful for the past 3 yrs which pisses me off.

lol I almost feel like a ass talking about this when the answer is so obvious,but I swore I wouldnt do anything over the holidays as this time of year is stressful enough

 

[biggeek]

brutal man, my girls parents hate me bad,Im 20 and in college and dont own my own car and barely get my familys one vehicle and these fucks told me I cant be in their car blah blah,tryin to break us up,which adds alot more strain on the relationship.and I have been nothing but respectful for the past 3 yrs which pisses me off.

lol I almost feel like a ass talking about this when the answer is so obvious,but I swore I wouldnt do anything over the holidays as this time of year is stressful enough

Yeah.. i feel like an ass too.. but my gf just left to go to the mountains and go snow skiing with some "friends" and i was by no means invited.. so i don't care at this time.. ha ha.. i almost kind of hope she's with a guy or something.. if she would call me and say she was breaking up with me.. i would probably cheer.. but like you.. i told myself i was gonna wait till after xmas.. i already have presents for her and her family and they've got them for me.. doing it around this time could make things 10x worse than they need to be.. but i'm slowly letting into that this relationship isn't working and i think she is starting to get it.. or maybe she's got other guys in mind now or something.. been hanging out with "work" friends a lot lately and i'm never invited.. doesn't matter to me.. i've finally had free time lately..

Her rents.. unlike you.. loved me to death.. thought i was a great kid.. and at times THEY would even tell me to get out if i was smart.. HER OWN PARENTS told me to break up with her because she could be so psycho.. lol.. how sad is that.. and i still didn't do it..

 

[theoak01]

lol ya the present thing makes it a bitch around this time of year.

Ive also been dropping the subtle hints,she knows Im not happy,but wont drop me,and Im sure is waiting for me to walk,because she says if I dont like it I will leave. shit like that.

she also was gonna pull the shit your girl did,she was suppose to go out of town all weekend to a party with tons of guys there etc,I wasnt invited or anything,but her friend had to work,and then she crapped on my plans

 

[biggeek]

lol ya the present thing makes it a bitch around this time of year.

Ive also been dropping the subtle hints,she knows Im not happy,but wont drop me,and Im sure is waiting for me to walk,because she says if I dont like it I will leave. shit like that.

she also was gonna pull the shit your girl did,she was suppose to go out of town all weekend to a party with tons of guys there etc,I wasnt invited or anything,but her friend had to work,and then she crapped on my plans

I've been dropping the same subtle hints.. being a little bitchier.. making sure she knows i'm unhappy.. she knows what's coming.. don't think she wants to admit it though.. if i were you.. and my girl had gone to that party after not letting me go out of town.. i would have called her in the middle of the party.. and told her.. "hey baby.. it's over".. and hung up.. lol.. but seriously man.. how do we deal with women like this.. it's like their a virus.. no amount of antibiotics will kill it.. and sometimes.. once you've got it.. it is either an extreme bitch to get rid of or will never go away.. lol..

 

[theoak01]

lol ya def a bitch to get rid of, I do love her as a person,but my days of being in love are over,and I am pretty sure Im in love with this friend I was suppose to go away with, which complicates all this even more lol.

as for why we deal with it,I have a theory we are good people and dont want to intentionally hurt someone and would rather put ourselves through hell then hurt someone we care for. so lets stick with that lol

 

[biggeek]

lol ya def a bitch to get rid of, I do love her as a person,but my days of being in love are over,and I am pretty sure Im in love with this friend I was suppose to go away with, which complicates all this even more lol.

as for why we deal with it,I have a theory we are good people and dont want to intentionally hurt someone and would rather put ourselves through hell then hurt someone we care for. so lets stick with that lol

Sounds good to me man.. although i think i've given up on being a good person.. being good all the time doesn't exactly get you everything.. gotta get your hands dirty from time to time.. about your friend.. if it's for real.. then go for it.. plus it'll be a good way out.. ha ha.. i thought about getting with my female friend after me and my girl broke up.. but there is absolutley no physical or sexual attraction between me and her.. regardless of how much i love her as a person and as a friend.. just couldn't do it.. i tried... lol.. oh well.. i'm ready to move on to the next bitchy girl and let her run my life.. this one is getting old.. if i'm doomed to be like this the rest of my life.. atleast let the scenary change..

 

[Dunk]

Well then how did you break up with your girl without looking like a dirtbag.. i already did that once and looked like a dirtbag.. i would like not to do it twice but i was pretty much forced to the first time and i'm pretty sure it'll happen the same way the second time.. but your right.. being single feels damn good.. and i'm definatly gonna take a lot longer to get really attatched to my future women.. get past that puppy love stage and get into really knowing someone.. but actually.. i THOUGHT i had done that with this one.. but oh well.. looks do mean something.. i mean.. there has to be some sexual attraction between you.. or there is NO hope for a solid relationship.. but when we all get old.. we all get ugly anyway.. so that's when you really hope you got a good one..

the first time i tried to end it i told her the only way we would get back together is if she stopped acting the way she was. she agreed. things were good for a month and then she went back to her ways. we got into a fight about it. and i wouldnt take her calls for a week. and then ended it and said im wasting my time and i know this isnt going to work out. You gotta be strong man.

get this. i just found out from my friend that my ex i broke up with like a couple of weeks ago was diagnosed with Leukemia. now what do i do?

 

[theoak01]

Sounds good to me man.. although i think i've given up on being a good person.. being good all the time doesn't exactly get you everything.. gotta get your hands dirty from time to time.. about your friend.. if it's for real.. then go for it.. plus it'll be a good way out.. ha ha.. i thought about getting with my female friend after me and my girl broke up.. but there is absolutley no physical or sexual attraction between me and her.. regardless of how much i love her as a person and as a friend.. just couldn't do it.. i tried... lol.. oh well.. i'm ready to move on to the next bitchy girl and let her run my life.. this one is getting old.. if i'm doomed to be like this the rest of my life.. atleast let the scenary change..

exactly man,might aswell change the scenery and try another, dont let 1yr turn into 3 yrs like I have,I missed out on alot due to this shit,and I knew after 1yr things were shit

Dunk-thats rough man,id say try and be there for her as a friend if you can,or stay away 100%

 

[Dunk]

yeh its tough. when we ended it i told myself i wouldnt talk to her for a while but i wasnt going to be her enemy ya know. now this?

i feel that if i talk to her now about it we may get back together. i dont know what angle to hit when i call her as much as i love the girl ya know. shitty situation. shes only 26

 

[calveless wonder]

Fact is..... (it's ok, it happens to the best of us) is that there were red flags all over this relationship. The girl is clearly an insecure psycho. Anyone who calls you that much and is so controlling has major issues, and those things can never be resolved unless she comes to grips with her insecurity. That's not really your place, but something she either has to learn for herself or continue to do and ruin relationships for the rest of her life. Most of the time, people like that don't change. Based on what you said, you two really aren't compatible and she's been running the show. You shouldn't have backed down and ditched your friend, but of course you realize that. Like you said, she didn't trust you, and without trust a relationship is worthless. She has ALOT of her own issues and she's just trying to bring you down to her level. You're better than that. For love to work you need someone that makes you better, in all aspects.

Often the prettiest girls are the most insecure...that's why they act like diva's to compensate for their insecurity. The prettiest girls always come with alot of problems, although sometimes you can get very lucky and find a gorgeous one with the right mentality. It's very very rare but if you're lucky you may eventually find one...I lucked out and did.

What both of you guys needed to realize (and i hope you can apply this in in your next relationship) , is that balance is key. Your entire life can't be focused on her or vice versa. It creates a feeling of smothering, controlling and will always run a relationship into the ground. I know because for 3-4 months i was with my girlfriend 24/7 and functioning like a married couple(i'm only 21 mind you). Living together, doing literally everything together....We're soulmates and the most compatible people you will ever meet but without that balance of work/friends/hobbies etc, you will always make each other's lives miserable. Talking to each other and being with other is great and all but when you create some distance between you it makes the time you spend with that person much more valuable.

Also, next time you meet a girl that greatly dislikes your passions and hobbies (i.e. bodybuilding) instead of letting you do what makes you happy...RUN. That's red flag number one. I've had girls who were like that and dumped them on the spot. A relationship like that will never work unless the person lets you be yourself. If it's not hurting anyone, they should support you 100%

 

[H_T_]

is there a gas station between here and the end of this story, damn..........uh, anyway, it looks like you got a decision to make, her or your happiness, don't let her smell fear, be direct and lay it down.

 

[gonelifting]

We "allow" people to treat us the way they do. DON`T ACCEPT IT`. That`s it, you`re not in this situation because "that`s how it is", you`re in this situation because you LET it happen to you. TELL HER "this is how it`s gonna be!" if she does`nt like it, then by all means LEAVE!!! Too much shit in this world to have to deal with uncooperative people on top of it all. Some people learn and change from their mistakes after you tell them... and some don`t. See how she reacts and go from there.

Also, you fucked up by cheating.

 

[jerseyart]

Listen kid

Are you listening

Don't walk, run to the nearest exit. If the two of you were older, married with kids etc blah blah maybe the other advice would be worth listening to bor.

But you're a kid and these things were never intended to last man..

Go to school, to hell with the other crap, and put yourself in a position not to struggle financially for the rest of your life.

There is nothing wrong with your gf aside from the fact that she's a baby too and hasn't come into her own yet with respect to confidence and security. She's a girl waiting to become a woman.

When she does your broke ass likely won't be in the picture, so take care of you, and ditch the chick.

I know you won't do it, but I warned you

 

[awittyusername]

Listen kid

Are you listening

Don't walk, run to the nearest exit. If the two of you were older, married with kids etc blah blah maybe the other advice would be worth listening to bor.

But you're a kid and these things were never intended to last man..

Go to school, to hell with the other crap, and put yourself in a position not to struggle financially for the rest of your life.

There is nothing wrong with your gf aside from the fact that she's a baby too and hasn't come into her own yet with respect to confidence and security. She's a girl waiting to become a woman.

When she does your broke ass likely won't be in the picture, so take care of you, and ditch the chick.

I know you won't do it, but I warned you

This is exactlty right.

This girl doesn't have you best interests at heart. You should break up with her as fast as you can. (Don't do it he punk ass way of waiting to find someone else to go out with)

I have friends who were in simmilar situations when we were younger. One had a scholarship and semi-pro basball contract offers and the other had plans of going to college. They all gave in and didn't leave their gfs. A few yrs later both of their GF found other guys who went to college and had something going for them.

This girl will continue to latch onto you until the second she finds more security in someone she feels is better. She will dump you and nver shed a tear. (trust me I know)

 

[Lestat]

I'd say her behavior was crazy, but unfortunately its pretty typical for someone her age. Not all 20 year olds are that way, but she's obviously immature in quite a few ways still.

If I were you I'd tell her how you feel about things, if it pushes her away, then fine, most likely it will make her even more psycho about you and you'll need to run like hell.

 

[Rex]

Not to be a dick, but use paragraphs. It makes it a lot easier on the reader.

 

[biggeek]

Not to be a dick, but use paragraphs. It makes it a lot easier on the reader.

LoL.. sorry man.. I know.. but my brain doesn't work in paragraphs.. goes like run on sentences... and that's how I wrote it..

 

[Hurricane Man]

bitches man, bitches

 

[biggeek]

Fact is..... (it's ok, it happens to the best of us) is that there were red flags all over this relationship. The girl is clearly an insecure psycho. Anyone who calls you that much and is so controlling has major issues, and those things can never be resolved unless she comes to grips with her insecurity. That's not really your place, but something she either has to learn for herself or continue to do and ruin relationships for the rest of her life. Most of the time, people like that don't change. Based on what you said, you two really aren't compatible and she's been running the show. You shouldn't have backed down and ditched your friend, but of course you realize that. Like you said, she didn't trust you, and without trust a relationship is worthless. She has ALOT of her own issues and she's just trying to bring you down to her level. You're better than that. For love to work you need someone that makes you better, in all aspects.

Often the prettiest girls are the most insecure...that's why they act like diva's to compensate for their insecurity. The prettiest girls always come with alot of problems, although sometimes you can get very lucky and find a gorgeous one with the right mentality. It's very very rare but if you're lucky you may eventually find one...I lucked out and did.

What both of you guys needed to realize (and i hope you can apply this in in your next relationship) , is that balance is key. Your entire life can't be focused on her or vice versa. It creates a feeling of smothering, controlling and will always run a relationship into the ground. I know because for 3-4 months i was with my girlfriend 24/7 and functioning like a married couple(i'm only 21 mind you). Living together, doing literally everything together....We're soulmates and the most compatible people you will ever meet but without that balance of work/friends/hobbies etc, you will always make each other's lives miserable. Talking to each other and being with other is great and all but when you create some distance between you it makes the time you spend with that person much more valuable.

Also, next time you meet a girl that greatly dislikes your passions and hobbies (i.e. bodybuilding) instead of letting you do what makes you happy...RUN. That's red flag number one. I've had girls who were like that and dumped them on the spot. A relationship like that will never work unless the person lets you be yourself. If it's not hurting anyone, they should support you 100%

Hey.. thanks for the advice.. I like it when people tell me straight up but I also appreciate it when they have advice and personal experience to back it up.. a lot of the red flags that have shown up over our relationship didn't show up until much later (which is typical)... I didn't really start getting into bodybuilding until the last 6 months and have been really dedicated to it.. and she just thinks it's stupid.. its not like I wanna do it for a living and she knows it.. but it's a healthy and fun as hell hobby and sport.. get this.. she actually told me once that if I got big and looked like the bodybuilders we all look up to.. she said she would leave me.. str8 out.. i told her fine... and just laughed.. shows the controlling mentality of this girl...

For all the people that keep saying just run.. no shit.. but it's the Xmas season.. it's gonna cause a LOT of drama if I do it now.. but believe me.. it will happen.. my heart is basically cold and off for her.. and if my hearts not in it at all.. why even try? And it's just not that easy to "RUN".. this is someone you've intertwined your life with for the last near 2 years.. just "running" doesn't always work that well..

The last time I wanted to break up.. i told her.. str8 out.. it's over.. and to stop calling.. I was tired of arguing and fed up with her shit.. and she called CONSTANTLY until i finally picked up the phone and argued with her again for like 2 hours.. of course getting nowhere.. so yes.. i shouldn't have cheated and seen that other girl.. although I don't completely consider it cheating because to cheat on someone you have to really love them.. our relationship was dead at that point.. but anyway.. her last two serious relationships.. or hell.. last 3.. she was cheated on... so i was kind of like.. well.. it worked for them.. will it work for me?? and somehow it didn't..

 

[biggeek]

We "allow" people to treat us the way they do. DON`T ACCEPT IT`. That`s it, you`re not in this situation because "that`s how it is", you`re in this situation because you LET it happen to you. TELL HER "this is how it`s gonna be!" if she does`nt like it, then by all means LEAVE!!! Too much shit in this world to have to deal with uncooperative people on top of it all. Some people learn and change from their mistakes after you tell them... and some don`t. See how she reacts and go from there.

Also, you fucked up by cheating.

I've told her "this is how it is".. and she didn't like it.. and things didn't change.. and of course I didn't run.. a few times I would bring up my problems with her and we could rationally discuss it like 2 adults but nothing would ever change long term.. it was just the way she was.. some people are just unwilling to really change.. and it drags the rest of this world down seriously.. But thanks for the advice man.. and I KNOW I shouldn't have cheated. It's REALLY not in my character at ALL!

 

[Miss24k]

I've told her "this is how it is".. and she didn't like it.. and things didn't change.. and of course I didn't run.. a few times I would bring up my problems with her and we could rationally discuss it like 2 adults but nothing would ever change long term.. it was just the way she was.. some people are just unwilling to really change.. and it drags the rest of this world down seriously.. But thanks for the advice man.. and I KNOW I shouldn't have cheated. It's REALLY not in my character at ALL!

When she said she didn't like it, that was your queue to leave. Man stop letting her walk all over you, stand up...If someone isn't willing to change to better themselves and the relationship, you don't need to put up with it.

Yes she may be hot, but she sounds like a bitch. The hottest will fade, but the bitchiest will remain.

 

[biggeek]

Yes she may be hot, but she sounds like a bitch. The hottest will fade, but the bitchiest will remain.

True That!!! Ha ha..

 

[biggeek]

Well I figured I would post up some pics like dunk did so atleast everyone can see what my girl looks like..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/RachInBlack.jpg

Yes.. for the first 8 months or so of our relationship she worked at Hooters.. and no she does not have any hooters but she makes up for it in our assets.. ha ha.. anyway.. I didn't pick her up at her work either.. so don't think I'm one of those lame guys that goes to hooters to pick up women.. I met her away from her job and found out she worked there.. was a little sketchy about it at first.. but it was never a big issue.. and it was fun always getting to hang out at Hooters.. oh and BTW.. now that she doesn't work there.. i'm not "allowed" to go anymore.. lol..


http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/Rakel.jpg

This pic is also at Hooters.. this was about a year ago.. she looks a good bit different now.. but not majorly.. this is the real girl.. no makeup or frills.. it's nice finding a girl that is attractive without pounds of makeup and sluttly clothes..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/rakel1.jpg

This is out front of a seafood buffet in Myrtle Beach, SC when we went to the beach this past summer.. we actually had a really good time.. didn't really fight much at all.. which is a SHOCKER..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/Picture008.jpg

This is another of us at the beach.. just got out of the pool and being out in the sun..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/Picture009.jpg

I always liked this pic a lot.. this is another natural pic so to speak.. or atleast very little makeup or anything on.. and NO.. her eyes are really a greenish blue.. not that DEEP of a blue.. it's called Acuvue 2.. ha ha.. I have them too..

Now everyone can atleast see who I'm talking about instead of imagining someone..ha ha..

 

[calveless wonder]

Well I figured I would post up some pics like dunk did so atleast everyone can see what my girl looks like..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/RachInBlack.jpg

Yes.. for the first 8 months or so of our relationship she worked at Hooters.. and no she does not have any hooters but she makes up for it in our assets.. ha ha.. anyway.. I didn't pick her up at her work either.. so don't think I'm one of those lame guys that goes to hooters to pick up women.. I met her away from her job and found out she worked there.. was a little sketchy about it at first.. but it was never a big issue.. and it was fun always getting to hang out at Hooters.. oh and BTW.. now that she doesn't work there.. i'm not "allowed" to go anymore.. lol..


http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/Rakel.jpg

This pic is also at Hooters.. this was about a year ago.. she looks a good bit different now.. but not majorly.. this is the real girl.. no makeup or frills.. it's nice finding a girl that is attractive without pounds of makeup and sluttly clothes..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/rakel1.jpg

This is out front of a seafood buffet in Myrtle Beach, SC when we went to the beach this past summer.. we actually had a really good time.. didn't really fight much at all.. which is a SHOCKER..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/Picture008.jpg

This is another of us at the beach.. just got out of the pool and being out in the sun..

http://www.woodruffroadstorage.com/Picture009.jpg

I always liked this pic a lot.. this is another natural pic so to speak.. or atleast very little makeup or anything on.. and NO.. her eyes are really a greenish blue.. not that DEEP of a blue.. it's called Acuvue 2.. ha ha.. I have them too..

Now everyone can atleast see who I'm talking about instead of imagining someone..ha ha..

bro, i don't mean this to be a dick but she's an average to above average looking girl. you can do much better than that, so don't let that interfere. there are tons of generic blonde chicks in the sea for you that will look better than her.

it explains everything...average looking white girls are almost always extremely insecure about themselves, especially when they're young.

 

[EnderJE]

I like JA's response. You're both fucking 20. You have your whole lives ahead of you. Does she match with you? Hmmm. NO! Leave. Go to college and find someone else! I know. I know. You'll miss the kitty. But, if you don't do anything, then you're just setting yourself up for more hurt (kids, divorce, etc).

BTW, what's her number? <-- completely unrelated.

 

[biggeek]

bro, i don't mean this to be a dick but she's an average to above average looking girl. you can do much better than that, so don't let that interfere. there are tons of generic blonde chicks in the sea for you that will look better than her.

it explains everything...average looking white girls are almost always extremely insecure about themselves, especially when they're young.

No offense taken.. I don't really date for looks.. just so happened this one turned out pretty attractive.. and above all.. she is not like model hot.. although there are some "above average" parts on her body that pictures do no justice.. but anyway.. I'm really not even a blond guy anyway.. more attracted to brunettes.. but oh well.. she blames all her insecurities on how bad her past relationships were and how she was treated.. i blame the way they treated her on how she is.. LoL.. and I've told her that..

 

[biggeek]

I like JA's response. You're both fucking 20. You have your whole lives ahead of you. Does she match with you? Hmmm. NO! Leave. Go to college and find someone else! I know. I know. You'll miss the kitty. But, if you don't do anything, then you're just setting yourself up for more hurt (kids, divorce, etc).

BTW, what's her number? <-- completely unrelated.

Yeah.. i hear ya man.. I have already decided I'm going to college.. and she's not coming with me.. GATech is too good of an oppurtunity to pass up.. and yes.. i will definatly miss the kitty.. although I haven't heard the kitty purr in quite a while.. so I don't know what I'd really be missing.. lol.. but she's already picked out kids names.. and talks about her diamond has to be this expensive.. and before I can have a new car she has to have a diamond ring.. and I shouldn't get a sports car.. i should get a family car so we can have a family.. and I'm like.. WHOA BITCH!!.. BACK UP NOW.. and tell her she's crazy.. cause i mean.. she is crazy..

But seriously man.. you want her number.. lure her away from me.. make my life easy..

 

[-SD-]

Yeah.. i hear ya man.. I have already decided I'm going to college.. and she's not coming with me.. GATech is too good of an oppurtunity to pass up.. and yes.. i will definatly miss the kitty.. although I haven't heard the kitty purr in quite a while.. so I don't know what I'd really be missing.. lol.. but she's already picked out kids names.. and talks about her diamond has to be this expensive.. and before I can have a new car she has to have a diamond ring.. and I shouldn't get a sports car.. i should get a family car so we can have a family.. and I'm like.. WHOA BITCH!!.. BACK UP NOW.. and tell her she's crazy.. cause i mean.. she is crazy..

But seriously man.. you want her number.. lure her away from me.. make my life easy..

Kids names? diamond has to be so expensive? Cant get the car you want?
LOL. Its been said before but you are both 20 and as such she has selfish ways as a typical american girl and you take her shit since you are a typical american guy who doesnt want to give up someone who is supposedly "hot".
Im 30 and I can tell you as you get older you will gain a lot of clarity regarding what you want in a woman and what you will put up with from her.
Consequences of leaving her are temporary. Consequences of marrying her can last a lifetime.

 

[DIVISION]

Listen kid

Are you listening

Don't walk, run to the nearest exit. If the two of you were older, married with kids etc blah blah maybe the other advice would be worth listening to bor.

But you're a kid and these things were never intended to last man..

Go to school, to hell with the other crap, and put yourself in a position not to struggle financially for the rest of your life.

There is nothing wrong with your gf aside from the fact that she's a baby too and hasn't come into her own yet with respect to confidence and security. She's a girl waiting to become a woman.

When she does your broke ass likely won't be in the picture, so take care of you, and ditch the chick.

I know you won't do it, but I warned you

DirtyJerz is 100% correct. A bit more nice than I would have been, but he's right nevertheless.

This is exactlty right.

This girl doesn't have you best interests at heart. You should break up with her as fast as you can. (Don't do it he punk ass way of waiting to find someone else to go out with)

I have friends who were in simmilar situations when we were younger. One had a scholarship and semi-pro basball contract offers and the other had plans of going to college. They all gave in and didn't leave their gfs. A few yrs later both of their GF found other guys who went to college and had something going for them.

This girl will continue to latch onto you until the second she finds more security in someone she feels is better. She will dump you and nver shed a tear. (trust me I know)

....and of course, awittynugganame. This advice is also essentially saying the same thing in a different way. They are both correct. Ditch the bitch, look after yourself and life goes on.




DIV

 

[Dirk Howat]

Man stop letting her walk all over you, stand up...If someone isn't willing to change to better themselves and the relationship, you don't need to put up with it. Yes she may be hot, but she sounds like a bitch. The hottest will fade, but the bitchiest will remain.

Great points. Problem is that the best men, who would never let a man f with him, lets girls trounch on him because he puts them on pedestals.

The deal. Be the man. Let her be the women. Some women are mental. They may look hot, but they are shit inside. Find a hot babe who will treat you right while you treat her right.

Never compromise your integrity or disrespect you. Some women try to bring you down to make you less appealing to other girls so you will not dump them. Focus on your life and take the right girl on your ride in life.





.

 

[biggeek]

DirtyJerz is 100% correct. A bit more nice than I would have been, but he's right nevertheless.



....and of course, awittynugganame. This advice is also essentially saying the same thing in a different way. They are both correct. Ditch the bitch, look after yourself and life goes on.




DIV

You pride yourself on being brutally honest don't you DIV..

 

[biggeek]

I've got a thought.. ha ha.. what if I just let my girlfriend read this entire thread and tell her it's over.. she should get the point after reading this thread.. lol.. and i've got like 20 people backing me up in my decision.. can't beat that..

 

[DIVISION]

You pride yourself on being brutally honest don't you DIV..

Be you, do what you do, stay true drinkin' 22's of brew!

Yes, brutal and honest......but that's how you gotta be in a relationship..


Don't let her read this thread.......you take the knowledge from this thread and tell her yourself!

Confront her and tell her how things are gonna be.......in short, use your NUTS..




DIV

 

[biggeek]

Be you, do what you do, stay true drinkin' 22's of brew!

Yes, brutal and honest......but that's how you gotta be in a relationship..


Don't let her read this thread.......you take the knowledge from this thread and tell her yourself!

Confront her and tell her how things are gonna be.......in short, use your NUTS..




DIV

I was just saying your brutally honest about everything.. in ALL your posts.. lol.. I wasn't being serious about letting my girl read this.. although after reading it i'm sure she would get the point.. but she would also see that I cared for her and how I really felt.. but no.. i'm gonna be the man and do it the old fashioned way.. just be like.. "hey baby.. i'm out".. brutally honest right div?? and about using my nuts.. i just finished up a 10week test cycle.. I don't have my nuts back yet.. LoL.. j/k

 

[DIVISION]

I was just saying your brutally honest about everything.. in ALL your posts.. lol.. I wasn't being serious about letting my girl read this.. although after reading it i'm sure she would get the point.. but she would also see that I cared for her and how I really felt.. but no.. i'm gonna be the man and do it the old fashioned way.. just be like.. "hey baby.. i'm out".. brutally honest right div?? and about using my nuts.. i just finished up a 10week test cycle.. I don't have my nuts back yet.. LoL.. j/k

In this case, nuts = brains.........simple as that, nuttynugga!

Don't even say "baby".......just say: Look <insert bitch name here>, this isn't what I'd envisioned and I'm ending this, NOW!

Use your head, BG........the rest is self-explanatory.

Being brutally honest is what s'all about.......trust me, it's better that way.




DIV

 

[Miss24k]

In this case, nuts = brains.........simple as that, nuttynugga!

Don't even say "baby".......just say: Look <insert bitch name here>, this isn't what I'd envisioned and I'm ending this, NOW!

Use your head, BG........the rest is self-explanatory.

Being brutally honest is what s'all about.......trust me, it's better that way.




DIV

What he said !!!!!

 

[DIVISION]

What he said !!!!!

When the pale Canadian women agree with me, I know I'm SOOOOO RIGHT!

I'm breakdancin' on acid here!




DIV

 

[Miss24k]

When the pale Canadian women agree with me, I know I'm SOOOOO RIGHT!

I'm breakdancin' on acid here!




DIV

As long as you know hun.

lol@ breakdancin' on acid

 

[DIVISION]

As long as you know hun.

lol@ breakdancin' on acid

Strictly here for your entertainment......




DIV

 

[Miss24k]

Strictly here for your entertainment......




DIV

Ohhh how privileged I feel....

 

[DIVISION]

Ohhh how privileged I feel....

I'm being good......

I'm being good.....





DIV

 

[Miss24k]

I'm being good......

I'm being good.....





DIV

lol

I am being good

 

[biggeek]

well guys.. thought I would give an update on this thread.. from all the advice from the people on here, and some other people i highly respect, i decided it was through.. i knew it was.. worked like this..

The last 2 weeks we have barely seen each other and rarely talked.. and if you remember any of the above story.. this is VERY rare.. this started happening about the time I started talking alot about Georgia Tech and really pushing to get in.. (still working on it!).. and she basically knew that i wanted to go and she wasn't coming with me.. so she started drifting apart.. and i sort of liked all the free space.. then 2 nights ago.. when she got off work and said she was coming over.. she changes her mind and goes out to eat at midnight with some "friends" from work.. and it's been over an hour and a half and she still hadn't called to tell me whether she was coming or not and I had to be up early the next morning.. well.. finally she called.. we bitched a little bit.. but nothing major like we normally do..

Well.. our little argument.. and us not seeing each other.. and i don't know how it came about.. but i just sort of said.. you know this relationship is dead.. and she agreed.. told me for the last 2 weeks or so she really didn't want to be with me.. because of the GA Tech thing and because my family has never been inviting with her (it wasn't that they didn't like her, just they knew she wasn't the right one for me and probably weren't the nicest people to her).. she said she couldn't marry someone when their family didn't like her.. understandable.. but my family had their reasons and there was no way in HELL we were gonna get married anyway..

After deciding that she was just gonna go home, it was late, and i had to work in the morning.. we keep talking.. i'm doing my absolute best to keep things calm and rational.. and with her.. trust me.. it's hard.. but we did it.. and we basically just broke up right then and there.. on her 25 minute car ride home.. it wasn't really like we broke up.. it's like we both knew it was over.. just unwilling to come out and say it.. and i finally did.. and she totally agreed.. the bad thing is, is that i really didn't wanna do it right before christmas.. i told her she could return all my presents and keep the cash because i know she doesn't make as much as i do and she's tight for money, but that i still wanted to give her my presents to her.. she said she was still going to give me her presents..

Unlike the first time we broke up.. we really didn't talk at all the next day other than to decide how we were gonna do this whole getting together on christmas thing.. we decided i would come out around lunch time and do presents with her.. then go home and do dinner with my family and she had plans with some friends.. so cool.. sounded good.. i got out there today.. could see the sadness in her eyes, even though she wouldn't admit it.. almost broke my heart but i played it off.. talked to her family and everyone there.. gave them my present to them.. and then did my presents with her.. things felt odd but not quite as bad as i had imagined.. i just felt more out of place than anything.. but not like there was any hatred.. we both exchanged gifts.. i gave her some good things.. she gave me some things i really needed and liked.. she was always good at buying things for me.. anyway..

So i stayed around for about an hour and talked with her family some more, saw their new beagle puppy.. and talked with my now ex-girlfriend a little.. i sort of brought up the conversation of our break up and she straight out said she didn't care and it didn't bother her and that she wasn't gonna cry over it.. because i had lied.. cheated.. was selfish.. a dickhead.. whatever.. etc.. so maybe i wasn't the greatest boyfriend in the world.. but she was by NO MEANS a good girlfriend.. anyway.. i know even though she was acting cold and strong.. i know she was torn up on the inside.. it was bothering me a little.. but not as bad as it had the first time we broke up.. so after a little while.. decided to head home.. seemed kind of weird.. like you were just about to walk away from the last year and almost 6 months of your life.. just by walking out a front door.. we talked for a second.. kind of stood there.. and i finally said.. can i atleast have a hug.. figuring this will be the last time i will probably ever see the girl.. or atleast hug her.. and at first she was hesitant but then broke down and had one of those sweet but sad hugs you see in movies.. but we were ok.. said merry christmas.. and goodbyes.. and i left.. just like that..

Walking out the door and driving home it started hitting me but i sort of played it off and tried not to think about it.. but the more i tried to stop thinking about it, or course the worse it got.. i mean.. you can't just toss a relationship that long out the drain that quickly.. i mean yea.. i can be cold sometimes.. but for the longest time i loved this girl with all my heart.. i still love her as a person.. would love to be friends.. but it won't happen.. i don't trust myself with her.. that's what happened last time..

But i did things the way i wanted.. we had a mature.. rational.. and mutual breakup.. no cussing.. violence.. nothing.. just like it was over.. and that was that.. almost too simple and too calm.. as the day went on my heart started feeling 10x heavier than it was.. and my mom could sort of tell.. we talked about it for a little bit but nothing major.. she asked if i was ok with all of it.. and i said of course i'm not.. but i know it's for the better and i just have to push on.. but that i still have strong feelings for her.. i guess it's not helping things that we officially ended things on x-mas day.. guess that's what i get for not being a christian huh?.. ha ha..

I know this is all something i just have to deal with.. greave a little.. and get over it.. i've just never had to get over a relationship this serious to date.. so it's hitting me a little harder than i thought.. i find myself wanting to call her.. or text her.. but i keep telling myself it's just not for the best.. it will only make things harder.. more confusing.. and possibly end with us back together.. which i don't honestly want.. but what really sucks.. is over the time span of our relationship.. i abandonded most of my friends, except for one friend, so now i really don't have anyone.. i think that is why it's really hitting me hard.. she's got all these friends she's going out with and having fun with.. which is good.. helps to keep your mind on things and get over it better.. i just don't have anybody around here anymore.. disowned them all..

I know she'll probably have a new guy she'll be dating like next week or something.. last time we broke up she had a new date within the week.. she has guys asking for her number and shit all the time.. anywhere she goes.. so it's typical.. but i can't help but wonder.. was it really me that fucked all this up?? or would things have turned out this way regardless.. ? wish i could watch in on her next relationship at some point just to know the answer.. if she treats the next guy the same way or if it's totally different.. for his sake.. i hope it's different..

Just thought I would let everyone know the status of everything and say thanks for the encouragment and wise words.. but now comes the hard part.. getting over the girl.. oh well.. merry christmas to me huh?.. take care everyone

 

[Rex]

At least you kept it civil. I've had a few nasty breakups. Don't bother trying to be friends because it won't work 95% of the time. The shit will sort itself out. You two would've ended be it when you ended it or after 20 years of marraige.

Anyway I'm drunk, tired, and am going to bed. Good luck. Merry Christmas, and thanks for using paragraphs.

 

[theoak01]

sucks that it hurts bro,but def for the best,im planning "the talk" this week and see how things go,Im sure its over because we have been together for so long and I wont ever marry her nor have kids with her,plus the family hates me,so its basically going nowhere ,why waste each others time.

anyway good luck being single,its a blast bro

 

[EnderJE]

Just thought I would let everyone know the status of everything and say thanks for the encouragment and wise words.. but now comes the hard part.. getting over the girl.. oh well.. merry christmas to me huh?.. take care everyone

First of all, kudos!

Second, just imagine what if you married her? That should help with the getting over part.