need advice

[BoneCruncher]

I saw this girl at a club the other day who I havent seen in a while, anyway she used to have a thing for me but I wasnt real interested at the time.. we got on well and she took down my number and said she would give me a call though she does have a boyfriend.

No less than ten minutes later I see this guy up in her face holding her phone up yelling 'who the fuck is this' and all this other garbage Im just having a chuckle about it because he looked like a bit of a geek and figured I wouldnt have to much trouble defending myself against him if need be. I speak to her again later on and I bring up how agressive he is when she confessed to me that he hits her around and stuff.

A fight nearly broke out a little later on when I confronted him however security split us up very quicky. It turns out he beats her every so often and that Im the only guy who knows about it her mum and sister are the only ones who know. I feel I am to involved now to not do something about it but at the same time I dont want to give her the impression that I want to be with her because apparently I have already broken her heart once before... I need some advice any advice, should I go nail this guy or just cut all ties? Im at a loss. I fear if I do go and sort him out he will seek a violent and armed revenge perhaps.

 

[havoc]

I would suggest to her that she needs to take care of this in some fashion. It won't stop and may only get worse. Tell her you are coming from a concerned standpoint. If this girl is dumb enough to stay with some punk who hits women then that says alot about her, she is almost just a guilty for letting that shit occur and staying with this cock choker. A physical confrontation will accomplish nothing, and like you said, a retaliation could occur leaving you with more than you bargained for. peace and good luck

 

[BoneCruncher]

Yeah definately, she fits perfectly into that 'go back fo more' mold (Im sure you all know the sort!) where she feels she 'deserves' it, it disgusts me... As much as you are correct in your advice to not assult him the more I think about the little weasel the more I want to go and break every bone in his body.

Im thinking I will just tell her I am there as a friend for whatever she decides to do but to call me immediately if he gets violent with her again... (no doubt in the near future).

 

[HighIntensity]

you have done all you can do, its up to her...messy sit. that you don't want to involve yourself in unless she asks for her help directly...

Quik story, I once defended I very good female friend from her apparent abusive Boyfriend...after 2 weeks they were back together,

-by the way I was jumped by one of his boys after work...after the intitial blow i was able to recovery, but i still carry a lump behind my ear from the altercation.

out-

 

[decem]

just cuz the girl is lettin her man beat up on her.. doesn't mean she's stupid necessarily.. there are alot of elements that could be involved here.. including fear, low self-esteem, being brainwashed into believing she's deserving of it.. etc etc..

you definitely need to do something.. just because you're helping.. doesn't mean that she has to fall for you again..

step in.. talk with her.. about everything.. tell her your viewpoint.. about how you aren't wanting her to fall back in love with you because you're not sure what you want.. start building her confidence.. befriend her.. get her to start hanging out with her friends more.. etc etc..

you have not done all you can do.. if you just sit back and wait for her to call you after she gets the shit kicked out of her.. you might be gettin a call from the morgue instead of her..

like havoc said.. avoid physical confrontation with him at all costs.. if something like that does occur.. make sure he's the aggressor.. and do nothing.. nothing besides defend yourself..

also.. have her start filing police reports.. and if anything happens.. with you and him.. file a report..

 

[BoneCruncher]

just cuz the girl is lettin her man beat up on her.. doesn't mean she's stupid necessarily.. there are alot of elements that could be involved here.. including fear, low self-esteem, being brainwashed into believing she's deserving of it.. etc etc..

you definitely need to do something.. just because you're helping.. doesn't mean that she has to fall for you again..

step in.. talk with her.. about everything.. tell her your viewpoint.. about how you aren't wanting her to fall back in love with you because you're not sure what you want.. start building her confidence.. befriend her.. get her to start hanging out with her friends more.. etc etc..

you have not done all you can do.. if you just sit back and wait for her to call you after she gets the shit kicked out of her.. you might be gettin a call from the morgue instead of her..

like havoc said.. avoid physical confrontation with him at all costs.. if something like that does occur.. make sure he's the aggressor.. and do nothing.. nothing besides defend yourself..

also.. have her start filing police reports.. and if anything happens.. with you and him.. file a report..

We are in complete agreement, when I said my plan was to get her to call if he does it again it doesnt mean I am not going to be speaking with her beforehand, I told her I will call again in a couple of days to see how shes doing... She has definately been duped by this guy after nearly a year of not being able to hang out with her friends she feels she will be a total loner if she manages to get rid of him not to mention what he attempt to do if and when she does infact leave him. I will definately try to be at very least a good friend because that is what she needs most right now..... I just hope she doesnt try anything because who knows I might go for it and that might leave me in a real mess. (Bonecruncher is currently single and hasnt had a lady for a couple of months).

 

[WODIN]

Just start telling everyone you know, she knows, he knows, etc.... that he beats her. That he beats women.

Truth.

 

[BigGuns2]

That's a tough one bro. You should beat the shit out of that piece of garbage who hits women! But of course if you do that , you are the one who ends up in jail. You need to try to get the girl to leave that guy.