Need a womans opinion, relationship help

[smallpp]

Ok, about 7 days ago my gf of 3 years broke up with me because i am going to move far away and open a business with my father, about a 12 hour drive away to be exact. this is an oportunity that i can't pass and i will be moving with in the next year. i am really heartbroken that she broke up with me over this just because she doesn't want to leave her family and move there, even if i put a ring on her finger. we have not spoken since we broke up, and we didn't end on bad terms, actually before she hung up the phone on me she told me she loved me (it was over the phone because she is at school which is an hour away). i really want to talk to her and be friends with her should i call her though?? or not because she broke up with me??
what to do?

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[Raina]

If you still have feeings for her, it'll be hard to be friends. I'm not saying it won't be possible, but once either of you starts dating other people-- things will have the potential to get awkward.

If you'll feel some more closure calling or emailing her, go for it. If you think that you'll end up hurting her or yourself by talking, it's not worth it. Don't mess with your mind or hers. It'll only prolong the hurting. Ultimately, I guess I'd ask you to think about WHY you want to talk to her. Does part of you want to work things out?? Do you want to tell her how you're feeling?? Are you pissed that you split up?? Are you ready to deal with it if you talk to her and find out that she's moving on?? Do what's best for you.

 

[grlpwrd]

Raina makes good points. I also want to add that if you don't resolve issues between the both of you now before you leave you will probably end up in turmoil 5, 10, 20 years down the road. I would encourage you to meet and talk before you leave. Get some closure. Then again if you are both in love and want to make it work then you might want to compromise with her. I have a long distance relationship with my hubby which I won't go into it now, but it can work so it's possible that things can still be mended between the two of you. Maybe she can visit you and vice versa?

Good luck!

 

[flexed1]

Not a female but a very familar story. Time heels all and tells all. Ignore her and if she wants to be with you she will find a way. To be friends can happen but will take time. Allow the enxt move to be hers and maybe drop her a note saying how you feel and that you will leave her alone and this may be just what she needs.

 

[smallpp]

thanks, i think a long distance relationship is out of the question, but i still have feelings for her even though i thought i wouldn't being single again, she truely is a good girl and is in school studying to be a pharmacist, so on top of being gorgeous and fit she has brains. i just don't know what to do, i don't think i am going to call her since i am bad with words, i might send her an e-mail, part of me wants to tell her never to talk to me again because she let me after i had made one of the hardest and biggest decisions of my life, and part of me just wants to hear her voice and tell her i love her

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[bighead]

Not a female but a very familar story. Time heels all and tells all. Ignore her and if she wants to be with you she will find a way. To be friends can happen but will take time. Allow the enxt move to be hers and maybe drop her a note saying how you feel and that you will leave her alone and this may be just what she needs.

I'm not a woman either but here goes.I'm afraid my current staus of having a slight bitterness toward the opposite sex at the moment prevents me from being of any real help to you but flexed1's approach is the one I would take.She did break up with you so the next move is hers really,i would be very careful also that she doesn't see you to be chasing after her.Some women are funny in the sense that the harder you try to make things work,the less they want you.Well that is all women from what i can see but hey i could be wrong.I'd actually like to be wrong about that.

 

[grlpwrd]

thanks, i think a long distance relationship is out of the question, but i still have feelings for her even though i thought i wouldn't being single again, she truely is a good girl and is in school studying to be a pharmacist, so on top of being gorgeous and fit she has brains. i just don't know what to do, i don't think i am going to call her since i am bad with words, i might send her an e-mail, part of me wants to tell her never to talk to me again because she let me after i had made one of the hardest and biggest decisions of my life, and part of me just wants to hear her voice and tell her i love her

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Well, I'm a romantic. I'm all for love and I have always believed that if you want to grow old with that person and make a life together then do whatever you can in your power to make it happen. I have friends who let "The One" get away and they regret it for the rest of their lives. Anyway, go with your heart.

Regret is a big variable here because it seems like things ended so abruptly. I hope everything eventually works out for you both.

 

[madbomber31]

sorry, pure guy here...

TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL!!! thats pure bullshit!!!

 

[MFMan]

Tough situation dude. Me and my ex old lady called it quits after 2 years. Part of it was her going away to college and would have resulted in a long distant relationship. Well things ended on a bad note so we didn't speak to each other for about 6 months. We are friends now {if thats what you want to call it} but take it from me and end it on the best terms possible. You will be happier in the long run.

 

[AAP]

sorry, pure guy here...

TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL!!! thats pure bullshit!!!

True love doesn't go away easy, if it did, it wasn't true love to start with......


Give it some time... it WILL heal. You find yourself thinking about her only every other day..... It helps to meet the right person.

 

[AAP]

Ok, about 7 days ago my gf of 3 years broke up with me because i am going to move far away and open a business with my father, about a 12 hour drive away to be exact. this is an oportunity that i can't pass and i will be moving with in the next year. i am really heartbroken that she broke up with me over this just because she doesn't want to leave her family and move there, even if i put a ring on her finger. we have not spoken since we broke up, and we didn't end on bad terms, actually before she hung up the phone on me she told me she loved me (it was over the phone because she is at school which is an hour away). i really want to talk to her and be friends with her should i call her though?? or not because she broke up with me??
what to do?

small

How can you blame her? She can't pack up and move away from her life as she knows it just on a "maybe" possibility. That is a very huge gap.

Calling her and emailing will do nothing but cause you to hurt more. The more you plead, the uglier it will get inch by inch. Go out there and do your business. After 3 months of no contact, send her a brief email giving her an update on your work and all. Keep it brief and non romantic. See how she responds. It may surprise you if she already has another boyfriend.

 

[TEXgrl]

seems to me by breaking up with you she might be testing to see if she can push you into staying instead of leaving. she may come around and call you in a few days or weeks. give it some time. if you love someone you make sacrifices to be with them. sounds like she's not looking at the big picture, if she can't see that you moving will make your future better. a break might let her see the picture.

 

[AAP]

If you are going to leave, do it the right way. Steal money out of her purse before you go.

 

[smallpp]

If you are going to leave, do it the right way. Steal money out of her purse before you go.

thanks for putting a smile on my face, i was just about to write her an e-mail and tell her the deal but for some reason i decided to come and check this thread, well i am not going to send her an e-mail anymore....
the real thing that pisses me off is that we were exclusive for 3 years and she could just end it all in a phone call and not even speak to me again, it has been 8 days now and counting. I am really afraid that she is the one and i really don't want to loose her, i am only 21 and this might sound a little gay but whatever. i have been out to the bar the past couple of nights and word has gotten around that i have broken up with my girl and all of a sudden all these friends of mine (girls) are hitting on me left and right, makes me a little sick cause i don't even want to see a girl at all after what my ex-girl did to me (i guess i should start calling her an ex now ) I just wish things could be different

 

[smallpp]

fuck this



just had to vent