my roomate the fuckin tool!

[dzuljas]

ok guys, let me tell u about my roomate the tool. I was on the waiting list for campus housing this year and i get stuck with this kid.........i have prepared a list of homo things about him that i think you will all enjoy

1. he is 5-foot-nothing 150 lbs, he wears those gay visors and wife beaters and dresses all preppy and shit, yet he doesnt get any pussy at all

2. he buys flowers and plants and puts them in the room in a helpless attempt to attract chicks

3. he is mad lazy, gets to the gym like once a week and thinks he is buff, he does pushups and crunches everynight b4 he goes to bed and makes all these loud obnoxious noises, sounds like he's taking a painful shit

4. he sets his clock 10 minutes ahead, so he knows he always has ten minutes which is retarted

5. he sets his alarm too early in the morning and hits the snooze button 3 times because he is too much of a pussy to get out of bed

6. he complains about when i take a dump, even after i spray lysol in the bathroom yet he thinks his shit doesn't stink and that he is too good for lysol.

7. he is in the room typing away on the keyboard and listening to fuckin latin chongo dingo music while im trying to fuckin sleep!

8. he wakes up at 530 am to go on a gay homo ROTC run, instead of warming up outside, he fucking jogs in place in the middle of the fucking room swinging his arms doing pushing and dynamic stretching while i am trying to fuckin sleep!!

9. he keeps an ample supply of baby oil in the shower which im pretty sure he beats off with!

10. he uses fucking secret womens deodorant!!!! what a fucking homo tool!!

here is a pic of his medicine cabinet

 

[rvd_brock]

Wow.

 

[PolishHammer1977]

my roommate is a much bigger tool

6-7 285

major tool and full of excuses

 

[c-sharp minor]

What is a 'gay visior'.

Does it enable you to see if a person is gay?

I'd like a pair of those to scope me out some lesbians.

 

[tuc biscuit]

Haha, classic stuff, I knew a few chaps who thought that a tidy room a few plants and 20 sit-ups a night were the deciding factors on whether a woman wanted to sleep with 'em.

 

[rnch]

i am USUALLY happy with my roomie

 

[rnch]

boink your gf on HIS bed, make sure you leave wet spot(s).

 

[dzuljas]

boink your gf on HIS bed, make sure you leave wet spot(s).

ahaha not a bad idea, mabye i could bust my nut on his pillow too lol, or mabye wipe my ass with his clean tshirts

 

[rnch]

add some nair to his lady deoderant

 

[davepalumbo]

dip his toothbrush in the toilet once a day

 

[dzuljas]

dip his toothbrush in the toilet once a day

ahahaha good one DONE! i will definately make this part of my daily regimine, i will dip it in right after i take a shit hahaha

 

[louden_swain]

Don't be mean to him.

He does sound a bit bit squirly.

 

[KillahBee]

boink your gf on HIS bed, make sure you leave wet spot(s).

or, boink him on your girlfriend's bed- that'll teach the fucker

 

[ohashi]

We had a discussion about it - I stop using secret when you stop looking at me while I sleep.

 

[The Sun Devil]

only good thing about him is he is in ROTC.....i will give him credit for that and thats it...... i had a gay ass roommate last year and sounds just like yours.....i was a huge dick head and i used eat his food, steal all his clothes, steal his money, never take his phone calls, down load some awsome hard core porn for me and save it on his PC. he was too scared to delete it.....just be a bigger dick to him bro.....u are a big guy, he should be scared shit less of you......play by prison rules

 

[gonelifting]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by rnch
boink your gf on HIS bed, make sure you leave wet spot(s).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

or, boink him on your girlfriend's bed- that'll teach the fucker

or boink HIS girlfriend on HIS bed. THAT will teach the fucker.



PS I do #4 on your list. oh well

 

[Rex]

Why not tell him to turn his music down? My old roommate would call his girlfriend late at night. I would be asleep and could here her through the phone. Told the mother fucker that I would throw the phone out the window if he didn't get her to quiet down. Feel back to sleep, and the next day a few guys in my platoon said they could here him out in the hallway talking by their door.

Do you two share a room, or a living space with separate bed rooms? Lay down the law. Respect his stuff, but not if it interferes with your living conditions. First time tell him to turn the music down, second time turn it down yourself, third time throw it out the window and tell him that he's next if he doesn't cut it out.

 

[Crazy Ivan]

Listen bor, if you got balls then fuken eliminate the problem. I am fuken tired of listening to all you homos complain about stupid shit like that online and can't do anything about it.

FUken figure it out for yourself dumbfuk and square your shit away!

 

[ffknight84]

Listen bor, if you got balls then fuken eliminate the problem. I am fuken tired of listening to all you homos complain about stupid shit like that online and can't do anything about it.

FUken figure it out for yourself dumbfuk and square your shit away!

its not that easy, we have to live with these people, as annoying as they are, we dont need them to be more annoying. No need to blow an education cause you put some dumb fuck in the hospital for pissing you off ( which was where i was at 3 days ago, ive cooled down since ).

 

[HUCKLEBERRY FINNaplex]

Beat his ass and rape him.

 

[Jimsbbc]

I had a roomy that would come in at 3:00am and turn on the lights and stereo stoned off his ass. I had to take all the light bulbs out and unplug the stereo, fixed his ass.

 

[Crazy Ivan]

I had a roomy that would come in at 3:00am and turn on the lights and stereo stoned off his ass. I had to take all the light bulbs out and unplug the stereo, fixed his ass.

That's a good example, you fuken squared away bor!

 

[tuc biscuit]

Bump for more photos of his gay shit.

 

[timrock]

whats cortaid??????

 

[Aussie Juga naught]

only good thing about him is he is in ROTC.....i will give him credit for that and thats it...... i had a gay ass roommate last year and sounds just like yours.....i was a huge dick head and i used eat his food, steal all his clothes, steal his money, never take his phone calls, down load some awsome hard core porn for me and save it on his PC. he was too scared to delete it.....just be a bigger dick to him bro.....u are a big guy, he should be scared shit less of you......play by prison rules

If i was in your situation I would of done the same thing! If something is bothering you fix the problem.

 

[timrock]

start hitting on him. start telling him how buff he's getting and how good his butt looks in those jeans.

when he comes home sometime take a nap in his bed. when he asks you what your doing tell him you missed him.

 

[ZKaudio]

lol, i'm goign to snap a photo of my "hair product cabinet" when i get back to sb... this should raise an interesting response lol.

 

[Spartacus]

my advice is to learn how to get along and give and take..I'm divorced now and I prefer to have a roommate in my house(thier rent entirely offsets my mortgage interest)not only for the company but it keeps you in "training" for living with someone..as i expect to get married again and I don't want to get too settled in to living by myself and doing only what I want to do around the house