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My new employee..

AAP

Plat Hero
Platinum
So I meet this guy today. He is 30 years old and Jewish. (Sorry HS). He has a 27 year old wife and his mother and law lives right next door. Yes, I meant to type mother AND law. Cause if you know Jewish women, you will KNOW what I meant.

This guy is going to make me a shit load of money. HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

So I take everyone to lunch. At first, he is like "oh that's ok... my wife packed me a lunch." So I tell him I am buying and he can have his lunch as a snack. Cool. So off we all go to CheeseCake Factory.

So we are sitting there and he tells us how he has been out of work for two months and his wife and mother AND law is getting on his nerves.. when he got this job, they were so happy. They were like (his words) "go get that money, go, go go get that money... if they say your hours is 8:30 to 5:30 you show up at 8 and don't you leave until 6" He was 100% dead serious. You could tell he wanted this job not just for the money, but because he wanted to get the hell away from them each day.

After we get back to the office, we get to talking about his salary and bonuses. He is getting $19 an hour and for every contact he makes that turns into a lead, the company gives him $200. For every lead that turns into a contract, the company gives him $2000. Plus I always give the person who brings me the lead I get a contract off $1000 out of my commission check. So he is like about to faint. The HR people never told him about the bonuses. So I tell him that he stands a very good chances of making an extra $10K every quarter in just bonus money. He just said with dead seriousness... "ok, just wait, we are both going to get rich fast."

I do fear he is going to have me running all over the country by next spring.
 
shit!!!

give me a job...

wear the damn legwarmers...

i might even provide a manual release
after lunch...

wtf do you do anyway???
 
the cheese cake factory is some good shit. i miss eating there.

oh yeah, give me a job when i graduate.
 
Dude, you know what I do.

I court yacht owners at Dennys.

What kind of work do you do?
 
My big problem is... do I invite him to my Christmas party?
 
Anal AssPlorer said:
Dude, you know what I do.

I court yacht owners at Dennys.

What kind of work do you do?

no i dont know what you do...

i am a jobless law student currently...

everyday the book depository speaks clearer to
me though...:D
 
Assplow, you are lucky i don't work for you.
A: i am a selling motherfucker
B: I would make you feel physically inferior.
C: I am hot but straight! Bwahahahaaaa

Where are you again, FL?
 
MP5 said:
Assplow, you are lucky i don't work for you.
A: i am a selling motherfucker
B: I would make you feel physically inferior.
C: I am hot but straight! Bwahahahaaaa

Where are you again, FL?

A: I will buy if the goods are "good" enough.
B: I will take that bet.
C: No straight man alives considers himself Hot.

I am in Ft. Lauderdale. The only thing you have to sell is the only thing hospitals really need. Doctors.
 
I know i am hot cause all of the emails i get from gay guys begging me to switch sides! bwahahahahahaa
 
MP5 said:
I know i am hot cause all of the emails i get from gay guys begging me to switch sides! bwahahahahahaa

I think they just want to know who does your hair. Just tell 'em it is from Super Cuts and they will scurry away and not bother you.
 
Anal AssPlorer said:
My big problem is... do I invite him to my Christmas party?

not so sure about this guy...but definitely invite the mother in law. hire that weird fuck that came over and rubbed your feet for 36 hours to the christmas party so he can rub her piggies for a while and relax.
 
supersizeme said:


not so sure about this guy...but definitely invite the mother in law. hire that weird fuck that came over and rubbed your feet for 36 hours to the christmas party so he can rub her piggies for a while and relax.

Yeah.

Did you guys ever invite that weird fuck back over?
 
I was going to invite him over Monday night, but since my house is all torn up, the only place I would have to use would be the bedroom. I didn't think that was appropiate.

My friend has called him back twice more.

Lord that was great..........
 
Anal AssPlorer said:
My big problem is... do I invite him to my Christmas party?

Hmmmmmm....well, yes, you do need to invite him. Who decides that it is an official "Christmas" party?? Is that your call to make??? Perhaps you could call it a Holiday Party, that would cover Christmas and Hannauka.
 
MP5 said:
I know i am hot cause all of the emails i get from gay guys begging me to switch sides! bwahahahahahaa
they are all the same person......may1010!!!!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!;)
 
... and what straight man has another man fucking rub his feet? I feel dirty just reading that shit! aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gross.......
 
Anal, seriously what do you do?

Er…are you hiring? :)

Have you decided on your new bitch yet? I’m not gay, but I can be a good bitch, I know I can.
 
I don't recruit, just place. Right now, I am going to attempt to place parts of my body into one of those docs.
 
Anal AssPlorer said:
He has a 27 year old wife and his mother and law lives right next door. Yes, I meant to type mother AND law. Cause if you know Jewish women, you will KNOW what I meant.


Buh dum dum.....

take my wife ..please!

So i just flew in from LA...BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED!!!
 
I was imagining Anal sitting at lunch with his employees eating cheesecake. Sick.

My boss is Jewish btw. His mom lives in Cali- he's in NJ. It seems deliberate because when she calls the office he gets riled like a hornets nest.
 
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