My first vent/pissed/UGH thread..need advice..

[Gymgurl]

Okay I will try to make this short but I am so mad....My sister in law and I were kinda arguing yesterday and she proceeds to tell me that if I am so fed up with "stuff" that I should quit working out so much or not join that new kick boxing class(now this has been said at 2 x week before in the past) spend time with my family and go to church and pray! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am a stay at home mom and see my kids 24/7...my working out has nothing to do with anything.......OH I"M PISSED.....my husband pulls the same shit...no given neither of these two workout...matter of fact most of my closest friends do not workout...but I get this on top of my really trying to deceide if I will ever be able to compete or should I just give that whole dream up since I can't get my body to respond anymore to what I do......I'm just fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even want to traina nd I have this idiot telling me oh you do it to much BLAH BLAH BLAH....any thoughts of kind words I can start telling these people

 

[scorpiogirl]

Sooooo, you have a dream and you have a couple people who want to drag you down? That's just not nice. First of all, being a stay-at-home mom is A LOT of work (personally, I couldn't do it), and you probably NEED your gym time to de-stress.

If you want to do it....do it! Why isn't your body responding anymore. Maybe you need to change it up a bit.

Maybe you should just let them (sis and hubby) know that you need some positive support for your training and diet, and if they can't do that, they need to keep their mouths shut so you can stay on the path you want to be on. And YOU CAN stay on that path!! Just come here - you know that, silly!! lol

Everyday people who don't train think you put too much effort in training and diet. That's just something we all deal with. Just tell yourself (and them if you want) they're pretty ignorant about the subject, so it really doesn't matter what they're thinking - as long as YOU know what YOU want!

It'll get better! Stay positive!!!

 

[vachelle72]

I find that when you are passionate about something , and truly put forth a lot of effort and determination , whether it be training , work , hobbies , there will always be someone who is frightened by that.

I think people tend to fear the very real possiblity of someone other than themselves acheiving success , beacuse 9 out of 10 times , there is something that they would really like to do , but are talking themselves out of it. But they are ok in their wallowing , if they feel that no else has done any better.

Try not to get upset , because it "feeds" the fires , just do what you love to do , and when you need advice , enlist someone that you know will cheer you on , in whatever adventure you want to partake in.

 

[*Bunny*]

I find that when you are passionate about something , and truly put forth a lot of effort and determination , whether it be training , work , hobbies , there will always be someone who is frightened by that.

I think people tend to fear the very real possiblity of someone other than themselves acheiving success , beacuse 9 out of 10 times , there is something that they would really like to do , but are talking themselves out of it. But they are ok in their wallowing , if they feel that no else has done any better.

Try not to get upset , because it "feeds" the fires , just do what you love to do , and when you need advice , enlist someone that you know will cheer you on , in whatever adventure you want to partake in.

I really love this post

 

[scorpiogirl]

Ohhh, Chelle!!! That is good! Yes, yes, yes! I once had a friend who's husband use to try to keep her down by telling her how she couldn't do this, or wasn't good enough for that. She took it to heart and comfort ate CONSTANLY. Every time she would start losing weight and feeling better, he would feed her and start in on the negative comments again. He was afraid she would look better and start realizing there was more to life than his belittling (sp).

 

[Gymgurl]

Oh you guys make me know that I am not alone in this "lifestyle" lol that it is not all about looks and fear of getting old and blah blah blah that comes out of my hubby's mouth....I think sometimes he is afraid I will replace him.....the better I look the worse my family gets....comfort eat...boy can I relate to that.....I'm so depressed

 

[bluehen]

I can never understand these guys that don't want or give crap to thier wife/gf about working out. Must be jelous. Most of the time they will be the first to complain if you start getting out of shape. I love girls that work out to me it's a turn on, but I'm passionate about training as well.

 

[Cutiebaby]

yes gymgurl he sounds jealous...you look great, do what you feel like doing...if it is a dream or a goal dont let any ones words come in the way of that....you kep doing what you feel nessecary to make your self feel better!!!!!

 

[*MissFit*]

i say do it and fuck em

 

[Gymgurl]

You know those are the words that I tookto the gym with me this am....FUCK EM...why screw me cause I am angry with them....

Now the comp part and my other body issues I will have to deceide what to do I guess

 

[velvett]

"go to church and pray"

Maybe she could choke on a HOHO and you could pray that God gives her air.

 

[jenscats5]

There is NOTHING WRONG with doing things for YOURSELF. Just because you're married does not mean you're in a parasitic relationship where one feeds off the other & vice versa only. It's good to have separate interests.

God did not give us muscles, joints & tendons to merely sit on the couch & let them atrophy. The body is a temple and it deserves to be celebrated!

 

[Sassy69]

LIke Jens said - you have the right to find some personal time. Tell the hubby he needs time to bond w/ the kids on his own. Perfect time while you are in the gym.

And also like you noted, people around you always seem to be threatened by somethign you do above and beyond the rest of the masses who consider a 'trip out' to be a ride to the McD's drive thru. I have no idea why, but one thing about fitness (as w/ competition), it is a lifestyle, not somethigng you do 3x / week in the gym. That particularly seems to threaten people. LIke its going to require somethign of them.

Shit, my parents are freaked out by my gym time & diet and I only visit them 1-2 x /yr (they are 1500 miles away).

You got some great support here & great suggestions,. Its a hard thing to deal w/ esp when you have people ganging up on you and you are just trying to improve the quality of your life and achieve a goal that is important to you and doesn't hurt anyone else. I vote ask the hubby why he feels so threatened by it. Ask him to support you and maybe help explore some of the new ways to cook / eat (i.e. new recipes... see Recipe Thread!) And also to understand that if you do get frustrated w/ your progress or anythign about the whole process, to just listen and let you vent for a minute. People often want to provide a solution when you present a problem or frustation (esp guys) and here, there often is no quicky solution. There are LOTS of threads on here about that -- why do they not understand?? Part of it is your responsibility to learn to deal w/ the pressures, physical & mental stresses of dieting & training, scheduling & balance of it all w/ your life. But also to ask the people around you to help deal w/ it and when you do get emotional to just listen or give you some space while you cool offf & handle it.

But don't toss your goals because its inconvenient or uncomfortable for other people. It doesn't take an awful lot of work for them to accommodate you and its all good for everyone in the end.

 

[Gymgurl]

Thanks guys...Sassy and Jen you are both 100% right....I was laughing yesterday Sassy when I reread my sig with your quote......got me moving again! It is so nice to know that I can some here and you guys really do understand my frustration and that it is real!


Now for choking on the HOHO....I think I can arrange that if I shove it down her throat