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~ My Final Bit of Drama Please Forgive Me ~

lol@ "im leaving threads" its an internet message on it or dont

You don't pay attention well, do you?

She made the post, and she's leaving, because it obviously became more than an "internet message board" to her, and she realized she needs to back off. She has people here who actually care about her, and she's taking space to detach from the unhealthy amount of time and energy she has sunk into this place. I, for one, would have worried if she was just gone without a word.

Not all "I'm leaving" threads are created equal.
Hey EF forum people! After several years of being a member, I'm leaving, at least for awhile. A long while. I've met some great people here, but it's time to move on.

I came here in 2003 looking for fitness advice and like minded people. I had no idea I'd find a group of friends that I would come to depend on. I really had no idea what I was stumbling upon. I am grateful for the forum and thankful for the support it's given me all of these years. After several years of being a member I feel like it's time to move on.

I've been thinking about what I want in life. First of all, I workout like, three time a week. Lol. So, fitness isn't even a priority for me anymore. My appearance isn't even in the top ten things I care or think about. I'm not married to a meathead steroid junkie anymore either. Second, as you all know I can be a bit of an introvert and like to curl up at home with my computer :) The past couple weeks I've gotten out more and stayed home less. I've made a lot of real friends here and I've had a lot of crazy experiences, I want more REAL interactions with people, and more REAL crazy life experiences. :) Real relationships with real risk involved and true intimacy and trust. I feel like the forum keeps me from doing that. It's not elite's fault; it's mine. I noticed that I'm here so much that I'm not out doing stuff that is 100% real and I'm getting where I can't tell the difference between the two anymore. I just can't see clearly anymore. Plus, leaving will help me maximize my time with my daughter and these new real relationships.

THANK YOU for being there for me during some really difficult times! Thank you for your opinions, your insults, your insight, and your knowledge. Thank you for listening to me vent, and listening to me blab on about dumb things, and supported me through some very difficult times. I even made a couple enemies. There are people out there that hate me because of this forum. I can't say that about anyone else? It's just a different world here...I don't know. You guys were so great, and have always been great. There are a lot of good people here, which is why it has been so difficult to leave (I've tried a couple times) but this time I think I'm ready. I have to do this.

I know it sounds really weird to 'be ready' to leave a place like this, and why didn't I just stop posting...but I felt like it wouldn't be right to just up and leave, especially with past events I thought maybe some people might be worried about me. I also thought it would be easier to just make a thread instead of PMing everyone. I've been here for a long time so this is kinda a big deal but something I feel and think I need to do.

I will miss you guys. I know some of you will say I'm being dramatic...well OH WELL! :D That's how I do things. :D I wanted to give you all a proper goodbye, all of you who had no clue how much I depended on you. I don't believe in just vanishing without a trace like you guys meant nothing to me at all because that's not the truth. It's the easy, but not the right thing to do. Plus, I hate unfinished business. I like to tie up loose ends and feel like I carry that unfinished business with me when I am unable, or unwilling to do that.

I will miss every single one of you. I think about you guys often throughout the day. I think of MuscleMom often. Annie I think of often. Nangiggles, Smurf, and Shirlene. Superdave (lol) jackangel and Lartinos still. I can't name everyone. All of you I care about very much. This is very hard, but I really need to do this. If you guys had any clue (which you probably do) how different my sanity is compared to a couple years ago, you'd be begging me to do this. Lol. I just can't see clearly anymore.

I'll check the forum tomorrow for the last time. At least for awhile. PM me if you want to stay in contact and want to give me your info.

Cindy, I wish you all the best. I always valued your insight into life. It's good to take a break and find that balance...get your clarity back. Take care! :)
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