Matty the Mattress Found

[silverfish]

From my local news station!

Matty the Mattress Found

Matty the Mattress, missing for days from a business in Wayne County, has been found.

Matty the Mattress is a 12-foot-tall balloon. It's used to attract customers to Butler's Furniture Mattress Store in Hamlin, Wayne County. But, last week, someone stole Matty. The store's owners said Matty was valuable, and they offered a $500 reward for information leading to Matty's safe return.

On Thursday, police in Blakely, Lackawanna County, found Matty at a home in the borough. The balloon appeared to be in good shape. They took Matty to the police station for safe keeping. On Friday, state police plan to question a suspect.



Sorry, can't find any pictures of Matty right now!

 

[SoKlueles]

yay matty

 

[SoreArms]

thank god

 

[Hiatussin]

Slow news century on your block

 

[nutsnack]

holy shit.. i havent slept for days worrying about matty the maladapted mattress!

 

[Lestat]

well that is great news

 

[silverfish]

holy shit.. i havent slept for days worrying about matty the maladapted mattress!

This is serious. Matty was a young, blow-up mattress who was taken from his home by ruthless thugs. He may have been brutally molested and forced to pose for pornographic pictures. No one really knows the damage that may have been done to this balloon.