Mattthesidewalker.....lets get a B1 bomber

[Testosterone boy]

Ok...so I have located a B1 bomber that appears to be in very good condition. Looks like security is light....hell, who would think to make off with a B1?

It was one of the first 4 built. They say that 2 of those 4 crashed. So this is 1 of 2 copies. A real bona fide collectors items.

We will need a great deal of JP-4 jet fuel, I'm thinking 50,000 gallons would get it to a secure hiding spot in Canada where folks will figure it is just a black Concorde since they have never seen a bomber before.

Also need a pilot who is not averse to risk. Your call on the need to tell the fellow about the track record of this lineage of B1's.

I'm thinking my finders fee is worth the jet fuel................

Also....don't tell anyone.

 

[spongebob]

lol @ matthesidewalker.

good one test.

 

[Eye34]

I can't fly it,, but I may have a way to get some JP-4! I'm married to a guy who deals w/ it everyday! I might be able to sweettalk him. That being said, can I come along for the ride?!!!

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

hook it up mang.

Though if 2 of the first 4 crashed...maybe I don't want this one.

eye34 you can come along but only if you have attractive single friends of low moral character.

 

[pintoca]

hook it up mang.

Though if 2 of the first 4 crashed...maybe I don't want this one.

eye34 you can come along but only if you have attractive single friends of low moral character.

or if you bring tacos

(either the or the hairy variety)

 

[spongebob]

I can't fly it,, but I may have a way to get some JP-4! I'm married to a guy who deals w/ it everyday! I might be able to sweettalk him. That being said, can I come along for the ride?!!!

im thinking the high altitudes require JP-7 or JP-8. not sure which one.

 

[Eye34]

eye34 you can come along but only if you have attractive single friends of low moral character.

Hmm.. I think I can scrounge up one or two!

Spongebob. You may be right. I'll ask my husband when he wakes up. Course we only live 40 minutes from an AFbase, So would should be able to find what we need.

I'll distract the guards w/ my winning smile. And my girlfriends can drive the truck!

 

[spongebob]

Hmm.. I think I can scrounge up one or two!

Spongebob. You may be right. I'll ask my husband when he wakes up. Course we only live 40 minutes from an AFbase, So would should be able to find what we need.

I'll distract the guards w/ my winning smile. And my girlfriends can drive the truck!

steal the plane, bring some friends and let matt join the mile high club.

 

[PBR]

i want in!!!!!!....what do we need?...do we have a target???....can i paint it? can i can i ??????????????...

 

[Eye34]

steal the plane, bring some friends and let matt join the mile high club.

I tell ya, that's one I'm wanting to join myself. But I was always hoping my virgin flight would be on a B-52.. Now that's a gorgeous plane!

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

steal the plane, bring some friends and let matt join the mile high club.

Um...well...you see...been a member for almost 14 years.

It will be nice to have my own plane though, I will renew my membership often when that happens.

 

[spongebob]

Um...well...you see...been a member for almost 14 years.

It will be nice to have my own plane though, I will renew my membership often when that happens.

did you hear that eye34, forget matt, pick me up.

 

[Eye34]

Got it Spongebob!!

Do you think you can find us a B-52 though? Cuz I've got this, well, there's just nothing like it......

Kinda looks like this!

http://i2.tinypic.com/oucnl2.jpg

 

[Eye34]

Ok, so apparently the B-1 takes JP-8+100. And it is readily available nearby!!!!

Hehehe!

 

[Eye34]

Well, crap! Apparently we're gonna need at least 5 trucks of fuel.. So anyone wanna help me recruit drivers? I know of 2 girls ready and willing.... Anyone else?

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Well, crap! Apparently we're gonna need at least 5 trucks of fuel.. So anyone wanna help me recruit drivers? I know of 2 girls ready and willing.... Anyone else?

That's your job eye34. Spongebob is there for comic relief, T boy is there to divert the feds, and I have to pay for all this sh*t.

 

[Eye34]

Well, then, I guess I'll have to post the request at the porn site I go to.. LOL! Lots of eager young chics that! HEHEHE!

 

[Testosterone boy]

Got it Spongebob!!

Do you think you can find us a B-52 though? Cuz I've got this, well, there's just nothing like it......

Kinda looks like this!

http://i2.tinypic.com/oucnl2.jpg

There is a B-52 parked right outside! An original model, it has a tailgunner turret and apparatus for holding four 50 cal machine guns. Some SOB made off with the machine guns and put in wooden dowels though.

Looks like we are having an easy time securing funding and fuel.

We still need a pilot and I'm thinking we really ought to inform the fellow that this bird may have some personality.

Next....we need bombs. I think we should call them payload so the feds don't catch on.

We really ought to find a consultant on appropriate B1 payload I would think.

Also....don't tell anyone.

 

[alien amp pharm]

And my girlfriends can drive the truck!

and there is where your plan fails.

we all know women can't drive.

 

[Testosterone boy]

steal the plane, bring some friends and let matt join the mile high club.

Well we have a small problem. The friggin designers were more concerned with carrying stuff they can quickly get rid of when they need to go faster. I'm sure thats what they were thinking.

There are, in fact, two separate areas for this "payload".

I'm thinking we will probably never need to take out a third world country. So we can weld up the hatch doors in one area and fill it with bars, beds, and jacuzzis.

Sex at Mach 2. Hmmm.

 

[Testosterone boy]

I must inform everyone that this bird is made for getting to a destination post haste and making acurate deliveries.

There is currently room for maybe 4 orbs and orbettes. It will allow puctual arrivals and ensure the respect of your host however.

I'm also thinking the radar silouettes would be advantageous to sneaking around. If not, very few fighters could ever intervene.

In fact, I don't know of any fighter that could intervene with a B1 at 60,000 feet going at Mach II. We would be over another state by the time they got scrambled.

Plus Canadians can neither skate nor paddle that fast.

 

[SlimJim52]

Dun know about this. But, if you can finger it out, the B1 can probably fly itself from take off to landing.

Of course, if it is anything like the old SAC days, the guards may not be plentiful, but they will shoot first and ask questions later, even if you have brass on your shoulders.

 

[Testosterone boy]

Dun know about this. But, if you can finger it out, the B1 can probably fly itself from take off to landing.

Of course, if it is anything like the old SAC days, the guards may not be plentiful, but they will shoot first and ask questions later, even if you have brass on your shoulders.

Guards?


Once we get inside, I think we are pretty safe from ordinary gunfire.

 

[Eye34]

MMMM.. Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!

 

[Eye34]

Of course, if it is anything like the old SAC days, the guards may not be plentiful, but they will shoot first and ask questions later, even if you have brass on your shoulders.

Let me refer you to my winning smile!! I'm just saying!

 

[Eye34]

There is currently room for maybe 4 orbs and orbettes. It will allow puctual arrivals and ensure the respect of your host however.

Hey now! I'm jackin' the ****ing fuel!! I'm SO IN!!! right?

 

[beefcake28]

Plus Canadians can neither skate nor paddle that fast.

I thought they just used dog sleds...

 

[Testosterone boy]

Hey now! I'm jackin' the ****ing fuel!! I'm SO IN!!! right?

Well yea!

Matts the financier so he will want to see it occasionally but doesn't have the time to actually ride in it.

I'm the co-pilot. You never know when one is needed.

Need a pilot for sure.

That leaves room for a friendly orbette.

The welding of the hatch door and installation of the beds, bars, and jacuzzi's will have to be retro-fitted after the bird has landed.

Then the good times roll.

 

[Eye34]

How about a B-2 instead? Just found out last night my husband's unit is moving to Whiteman. sigh. Looks like a move might be in my future.....

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

How about a B-2 instead? Just found out last night my husband's unit is moving to Whiteman. sigh. Looks like a move might be in my future.....

Is that better than Blackman?

I do want to occasionally actually USE the plane.

 

[Eye34]

Basically that means that we may have to move to Kansas City for him to keep this job......

I'm perfectly happy here in STL.

I'm sure he'll let you borrow one once in awhile! LOL!

 

[Testosterone boy]

How about a B-2 instead? Just found out last night my husband's unit is moving to Whiteman. sigh. Looks like a move might be in my future.....

B1....B2.....

Either one works. The B1 that I am casing seems to have light security.

What about this B2?

 

[bluepeter]

I must inform everyone that this bird is made for getting to a destination post haste and making acurate deliveries.

There is currently room for maybe 4 orbs and orbettes. It will allow puctual arrivals and ensure the respect of your host however.

I'm also thinking the radar silouettes would be advantageous to sneaking around. If not, very few fighters could ever intervene.

In fact, I don't know of any fighter that could intervene with a B1 at 60,000 feet going at Mach II. We would be over another state by the time they got scrambled.

Plus Canadians can neither skate nor paddle that fast.

Dude, hosers can skate at about mach10 and we'll totally fug up your plane by catapaulting giant pieces of frozen whale blubber at it.

 

[Testosterone boy]

Dude, hosers can skate at about mach10 and we'll totally fug up your plane by catapaulting giant pieces of frozen whale blubber at it.

Dang...I thought my thread was a bit creative before I visualized this process.

 

[Testosterone boy]

Basically that means that we may have to move to Kansas City for him to keep this job......

I'm perfectly happy here in STL.

I'm sure he'll let you borrow one once in awhile! LOL!

Yea.....we will *wink*wink* borrow one.

Snicker

Yea....we will bring it right back.

Promise.