Martha - What Should I Have Done??

[FreeballinDC]

Martha, hopefully you can help me out with this.

Last Saturday night, I picked up this guy at a bar, and took him home. Although he had been drinking, he didn't seem to be high or too out of sorts (although he was drunk enough to go home with me, that should have been my first clue that trouble was afoot).

Anyway, I get him home, we fool around, and then we take a nap. He wakes me up as he gets up and goes downstairs to get some water (I assumed). When he doesn't come back upstairs, I go down to look for him. He's passed out on my couch.

I drag him upstairs, but instead of him following me to my bedroom, he goes into my roommates bedroom, and stands over his bed, and startles him. He does all this while bare assed.

I finally get him back into my bed, and he passes out again, but all night he is grinding his teeth.

My question is, what kind of sheets should I put on the bed for a one night stand? What kind of thread count?

 

[SV2]

sheets? throw his arse on to a plastic drop cloth in the basement and fuck him until he bleeds.

 

[ajtomasi]

so you're gay, right?

 

[MarthaStewart]

Gay sex is a natural and wonderful thing that our modern culture learned from the Greeks and the Romans.

In those times, they were less concerned with sheets, but in our current lifetimes, we have made huge progress in both fashion and home furnishings.

Quality bedding is available to all people today - regardless of your socioeconomic status, religion, race, or sexual preference.
Were George Washington alive today, he would petition to have the Constitution ratified so that we only had rights to good quality bedding at a fair price. It shouldn't matter if Mexicans or 8 year olds in Singapore make your sheets - they should be clean and pretty, and liven up both your room, and your life (sexual and day to day).

My choice for the occasion that you related would be something from my own collection of course. We don't break the patterns down into "gay" or "outrageously gay" - they are all just equally beautiful so that a straight couple, or a gay couple could each have equally wonderful anal sex on our sheets.
That is our goal.

I personally prefer the higher thread counts since they are softer against the bare skin - which there is a lot of if you are analy ravaging someone on your bed.
But be aware that as you approach 400 thread count (which, for those of you that aren't gay or perfect like myself, is the number of threads both vertically and horizontally in a square inch of fabric), anything above that is pretty much a scam and the company is trying to artificially increase the number so they can charge more.

In the end, it is the material which the sheets are made from that matters. I prefer the durability of linen for year round anal exploration.
If you live your perverted sexual fantasies out in a colder climate, then you might want to investigate at least a flannel fitted sheet - but avoid plaid since that is not appropriate most of the months of the year.
Silk is something special - but I personally think it is too delicate for things like wild ass love.

So there you go - I hope in the future you can find something that doesn't grind their teeth and instead is just a stallion on which you will ride out magic love for hours and then toss them aside like a wet mop, to be wrung out and tossed aside.

I think it is probably obvious to you, but I should add to the straight folks that you might want to add a nice dried floral arrangement on the side table and maybe spray some lavender on the covers prior to tearing off your lovers pants and plunging your tongue into their ass for hours at a time.

 

[FreeballinDC]

So over 400 = they are lying? Damn, didn't know that

And now that K-Mart is bankrupt (there are not any stores close to me in my area), where is a good place to purchase your bedding covers and accessories?

 

[Lumberg]

so you're gay, right?

Dumbest question ever!

 

[MarthaStewart]

So over 400 = they are lying? Damn, didn't know that

And now that K-Mart is bankrupt (there are not any stores close to me in my area), where is a good place to purchase your bedding covers and accessories?

Well, that is exactly why the internet was invented.
So that gay men could get online and buy quality products to liven up their daily life.

Just head on over to www.marthastewart.com then go to our store and then the bedding section.

We have a nice selection and much quality - just remember, we are probably ripping you off if the count is over 400 (smaller fibers and twisted shapes and the like).

 

[MFMan]

another one?

 

[FreeballinDC]

another one?

anther one what?

 

[Y_lifter]

Rubber sheets