Man, breaking up SUCKS, i'd much rather be the Dumpee :(

[mdd]

i finally mustared the balls to tell my gf its not working between us, and boy do i feel like shit over it. i HATE seeing someone upset and all torn up to that degree bc of me or something i did. i told her i still want to remain friends with her and keep in contact, and she seems to be handling it ok when i talk to her besides a few good cries here and there, but i have a feeling when i'm not around its a different story.

sometimes i wonder why i get involved in relationships all together

 

[MFMan]

Man has been trying to figure out the answer to this question for centuries without much success.

 

[mdd]

<sigh> i hear that

 

[Doktor Bollix]

I wish I knew how to make the direct approach work. The dine and dump routine has been explained to me: pick a public place to avoid scenes, deliver a rehearsed speech which ascribes no blame to anyone, shake hands, pick up the check and get the fuck out of there before she has a chance to turn on the waterworks. I gather this works best for those with the foresight to get all their shit out of her apartment first.

The friendship speech is not necessary IMO, everyone knows that people never stay friends in real life, unless you live in a town with 50 people or something.

One thing I know is that every relationship I have had lasted a bit toooo long. If I had pulled the plug like three months earlier out of that nine month relationship, or one month earlier out of that three month one, or 5 years earlier out of that 5 year one it would have been a lot better.

You've got to be like George in that Seinfeld episode, the one where he wanted to leave on a high note all the time. Be alert to indications the relationship has peaked and then bail.

 

[the nature boy]

bro, I totall hear you. Today i'm going to break up with my g/f. I am so not looking forward to it. It takes quite a bit of balls to say stuff like that. However being honest with someone, especially if you give a rats ass about them is way better than becoming a dick and having them break up with you. They might not be happy about getting dumped, but at least they can still respect you.

still though, it sucks ass.

 

[Raina]

I think breaking up with someone is worse than being broken up with. It hurts SO much to hurt people you care about. It's really hard to split up with someone that you live with. It takes weeks to get everything sorted out as to who gets what etc. One can't exactly take their significant other out to dinner, dump them, and then go home with them. Sorry you're bummed out mdd. Hopefully you end up happier for doing this though. There's no sense staying in an unhappy situation.

 

[Delinquent]

I can personally attest to staying friends after a breakup. I broke up with her plus she found out that I was cheating on her (which I'm not proud of but I'm still with the same girl 3 years later). We still chat on AIM all the time and we've hung out a couple times with no problems. She'll call me once in a while for fitness advise also which my girl is kinda apprehensive about. I just ask her who was the one dumped and who did I stay with, then she shuts up.

 

[Pineapple Devil]

I hate breaking up with them to, but I'd much rather be the dumper than the dumpee. There is no worse feeling in the world than to know that someone prefers the company of someone else over you or to know that there is something about you that they dont like

 

[madbomber31]

FUCK THAT... i know you feel bad but ask me what its like staying in a relationship, living with someone... when yOU FUCKING HATE THEM!!!! that is hell... all those times i tried to dump my ex i let guilt get me... i went back... for what? HER!!!!

i did that "become an asshole so she dumps me" thing... god damn, the day she left i became a new man... a fun man, again.

be happy you are done.

 

[theoak01]

looking back at my prior relationships i was a prick when i wanted it over,there was usually a good reason,for example the girl i went out with before my current girl got so annoying and bitched about everything but i knew she cared alot and i didnt want to hurt her,but sub conciously i turned into a prick and she broke it off

 

[Doktor Bollix]

That whole "turn into a prick and make her dump you routine" works, no doubt about that. Sometimes it's counterproductive though. Picture the guy you know who is the worst prick, and is the biggest asshole in the world. I bet he has to beat the women into an orderly line outside his bedroom door. Women will put up with a LOT and some are very hard to get rid of. These are sometimes termed "unflushables" after those two-by-four turds that just refuse to be flushed.

I've used the disappear off the face of the earth trick with great effect. Putting a substantial number of miles between you and the intended dumpee is fantastic. I realize its not practical for most people but if you have the opportunity to LEAVE THE FUCKING COUNTRY for a while jump at it. The best is when you're not from that country and so you'll never see them again.

 

[Puc]

all you fucking tools that thinking breaking up is harder than being dumped are cowards.

like it or not, being dumped is a situation in which you are impotent. you have no ability to change things.

when you are dumping, you have control. you can determine which time and why and where.

Sure, it sucks to club a baby seal, but would you rather be clubbed?

 

[theoak01]

definatly the prick thing can back fire and it has,or atleast in said situation it took her 3 weeks to get rid of me.

and puc if you want it over than i dont see the problem in being dumped,its when you dont want it over and they dump you its hard on you

 

[Citruscide]

FUCK THAT... i know you feel bad but ask me what its like staying in a relationship, living with someone... when yOU FUCKING HATE THEM!!!! that is hell... all those times i tried to dump my ex i let guilt get me... i went back... for what? HER!!!!

i did that "become an asshole so she dumps me" thing... god damn, the day she left i became a new man... a fun man, again.

be happy you are done.

You sound like B.I.T.C.H.S. material...

C

 

[Citruscide]

Well, choosing to break up because things just "aren't working out" is easy... even getting dumped because that seems easy. The hard part is when you get slapped in the face and your whole world crashes around you, and THEN you realize what you were in, wasn't what it was... and that your entire relationship was a facade... now THAT hurts.

C

 

[the nature boy]

all you fucking tools that thinking breaking up is harder than being dumped are cowards.

blow me junior.

 

[Frackal]

all you fucking tools that thinking breaking up is harder than being dumped are cowards.

like it or not, being dumped is a situation in which you are impotent. you have no ability to change things.

when you are dumping, you have control. you can determine which time and why and where.

Sure, it sucks to club a baby seal, but would you rather be clubbed?

 

[The Shadow]

True - being the instigator of the break-up can be very, VERY difficult. Guilty feelings have a way of creeping up on you.

Just remind yourself that it is harder in the short term....but you will be much happier in the long run.

 

[68GT350]

Puc has THE point here.

I've been the dumper and the dumpee and it definitely is much better to be the dumpER. Think of it this way--When you break up with someone, it's good news for you. When someone dumps you, it's bad news...especially if you have strong feelings.

I'll take it one step further...Getting cheated on is even worse compared to all of these.