Dunk said:
you tellin me a fuggin gabagul is responsible fuh my panic attacks?
that reminds me of a story of christman as it actually happnd to me, rhymes and everything. goes someting like this
something about christmas, I dont know what it is, the light layer of sno coveren da bums, little kids frolicking up flatbush ave, picking pockets. or
b/c perhaps its cuz dog doo freezes, hey what eva it is.. here goes
twas the night before christmas... at sheepshead bay
da kids was asleep, waiting for da big day.
The stockins was hung, by da furnace wit care, in hopes that by morning, hey, deyd all still be dere.
Me and this skank was getting ready for bed, I wore pajamas, she had a papah bag for her head.
When all of a sudden I 'eard this beeg crashh, I thought is was a burglah, I was gonna kick ass.
Ran out to da fire escape, look up at da sky, what DID I SEE?? This freaking fat guy.
With a red suit and boots, goin up to 'is knees, yknow, in the moonlight, he look just like Dom Deluise.
He and this big sled pulled by these reindeer, he called one of them prancer, so I assumed he was queer
As he stepped off the sleigh onto the roop, it became clear to me.
This guy...
was here
to steal my tv.
Over his shouldah, he had this big sack, he came down the stairs as I plan my attack.
I waited just a second, til the timin seem ripe, then smacked in da head, BADABING wit a pipe
He fell to the ground, wit a groan and a thud, I was kinda surprise, I didnt see blood.
Then he rolled ova, looked me straight in the aye, when I seen who I hit Dunk, I nears started to crie.
I said, YO SANTA, IM sorry aight, he said, notfernuthin, but this just aint my night.
I got lost in da bronx, ran over some nuns, near miss by Kennedy, rudolphs got da runs.
Im out all freakin night, I am busting my hump, but I cant contine now, not wit dis bump.
He said do me a favah, be a real pal, take over fir me, you be Santa claus Sal!!
I said IM FROM BROOKLYN, I AINT RIGHT FIR DA PAHHTT!!
You know what he told me....
Santa claus,
comes from ya hawwttt.
He made me an offer, i couldnt refuse,
stop every house..
'cept for da jews
its regulation, gotta fly right over them *pigsnort laugh*
So I put on the suit and stepped onto da sleigh wondering why reindeerss smelled dat way
TOok off on my mission, didnt wanna be late, while ole st nick spent the night hosing my date
So every year Im with santa out in da snow and da cold,
riding shotgun with santa, hey cuz he's fat and he's old
So on dis christmas eve, dont youse be surprizzzzeee
if you in a voice, real loud and abrupt,
MERRY CHRISMAS TO ALL
THANKS ALOTSHUTUP