Lol! :)

[RADAR]

It started out a beautiful sunny Sunday morning.....
People were greeting each other as they took their seats in their usual pews at Church.

Suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the neaest exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said.
"Don't you know who I am?

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?"
asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope," said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years".





RADAR

 

[Lestat]

C-

 

[vansmack2000]

devils sister?

 

[sublime35]

One day in Sunday school, the teacher was talking about Jesus is to the kids, "Bobby, where is Jesus?" asked the teacher. "Jesus is in heaven." replied Bobby. "Very good!", said the teacher. The teacher then asked a little girl," Where is Jesus, Emily?". Emily said innocently, "Jesus is in my heart!". The teacher beamed at little Emily and said, "How very sweet!!!". The teacher now asked Timmy, "Timmy, where is Jesus?". "Jesus is in my bathroom." he said assuredly. "Please elaborate, Timmy.", the teacher said. Timmy then replied, "Well, every morning my dad gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells. Jesus Christ, are you still in there!!!"

 

[sublime35]

A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.
"I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I'll have a basketball team!" said the Catholic.

"That's nothing!'' said the Baptist. ''I have ten boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son and I'll have a football team!"

"You both should be ashamed of yourselves!'' said the Mormon. ''I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"

 

[c00per]

A burglar breaks into a house and is fumbling around in the dark looking for things to take. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. 'I can see you and so can Jesus'. The burglar stops and listens. Nothing. So he goes back to work. Again he hears the voice. 'I can see you and so can Jesus'. He stops again and feels around for a light switch. Finding the light switch, he turns the light on. There, in front of him, was a parrot and a huge doberman.







The parrot says,









'SICK'EM JESUS!'.

 

[lardo5150]

great jokes