Little Johnny......

[WODIN]

Little johnny is seven years old and is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces,"Me and Janie are going to married!"
"Oh?" Says the mother. "And how old is Janie?"
"Five," replies the boy.
"Well," says the father,"what are you goin to do for money?"
"I get fifteen cents a week allowance," says Johnny, " and Janie gets ten cents. "We figured if we put it together we would be okay."
"I see," says the father."But what are you going to do if you have children?"
"Well," says Johnny,"so far we have been lucky."

 

[havoc]

Oh, I get it, PLifter = Johnny. Cool!

 

[The Ranger]

Teacher stands up in the classroom and asks the children, " What is on top of a barn out in the country? "

Everyone looks at each other in silence. In the back, little Johnny has his hand up, squirming in his seat.

The teacher knows if she picks him, he'll answer with something vulgar...." Does anyone know? "

Little Johnny is beside himself, the teacher has no choice but to call on him..." Little Johnny, go ahead! "

Little Johnny stands up, " A weather vane. " He answers smugly.

" Very good Little Johnny! " The teacher says somewhat surprised.

" Does anyone know what kind of animal is most often placed on top of a weather vane? "

Again, Little Johnny is the only one with his hand raised. The teacher knows that she is pushing her luck if she calls on him twice in a row.

" Does anyone know the answer? " She asks hopefully..

Little Johnny is beside himself with excitement...." Pick me!....Pick me! "

Again, the teacher has no choice but to call on Little Johnny..." Go ahead Little Johnny. "

Little Johnny stands up and answers with an evil grin, " It's a cock that is most often placed on top of a weather vane teacher! "

The teacher caught off guard at his pert answers asks Little Johnny, " Do you know why they place a cock on top of that weather vane? "

Little Johnny grins at her, " Well, if you put a cunt up there, the wind would whistle right through the bastard! "

Ranger

 

[WODIN]

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None the rest would fly away." replied Johnny.

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking.”

 

[casavant]