Life

[feisty11975]

Please give me your comments on this poem.

Sometimes I have trouble coping
with all life's up's and down's.
I would love to smile
but all I do is frown.

Just when I think
things can't get any worse.
I begin thinking again,
Boy this really hurts!

When I go to bed
I pray for happy times.
When I wake in the morning,
again searching for nickels and dimes.

Someone once told me
it gets better.
You would not believe it
from the words of this letter.

I will live life
day by day
and continue to struggle
and continue to pray.

Things will get better.
I know that for a fact.
Cause last night when I said my prayers
God and I made a pact.

To live life to its fullest
and accept the obstacles it brings.
To make the most of what I have
and listen to my angel sing.

 

[KillahBee]

Honest thoughts? It reads like an 8th grader wrote it. Lots of trying to be deep but not much translation of that.

 

[feisty11975]

Honest thoughts? It reads like an 8th grader wrote it. Lots of trying to be deep but not much translation of that.

Honesty is best.

Thanks

 

[stilleto]

ok, i'll be honest too, even though the pale color of the type made it hard to read.
i agree with kb, its a little sophmoric.
"down/frown"
"boy this really hurts!"