Well -- sounds like you wanted to do all the right things to make her happy, but she just floated & took it for granted. And now she's not so excited anymore. Maybe she stayed with you because you propped her up about her insecurities and all -- but here's the thing about relationships -- its great that you have these strong feelings for her and you do everything right - the problem is that you aren't getting that back. Regardless of how much I "love" someone, its no fair that I have to do all the work - it takes two and I would want someone who would go as far out of their way for me as I would for them. She isn't willing to do that for you. That makes her a waste of your love, efforts and time. Maybe doesn't make her a bad person, but its no fair to you at all. You are already indicating that you are feeling "used" in the sense that you aren't getting back what you feel you are entitled to simply out of common decency for all that you've given of yourself.
One thing I've discovered in life (I been around the block a few times...) -- situations that may appear complex are usually very simple. Most fundamentally there are issues that arise from lack of communication either on both parts or on one part where all you know is what you perceive and then you draw conclusions or confusion in trying to interpret the other person's side within the context of what you see & feel. But unless you talk to the other person and are able to have an open conversation, you can't really know what is going on in the other person's mind. The second is how you both spend your time -- you make time for the things that are important to you. She is obviously important to you - but maybe you aren't as important to her. That sucks but instead of feeling like you have problems in your relationship, maybe this just isn't the right relationship for you. Is it worth building up this feeling of not getting the due attention that you feel and should expect from a healthy relationship that will ultimately turn into resentment and further lack of communication, when you could get out of that and maybe focus on someone who is worth your time & attention and returns it in the same way that you want to give it?
Giving people give a lot and often give at their own expense - you can't expect a certain level of return from someone when you give yourself -- often you need to temper the degree of giving w/ your expectations of what you receive. This is how a friendship starts out - you give strictly for the satisfaction you derive from giving. If you get more in return, that means its a mutual satisfaction that can grow. If you dont', then you are probably just getting used or the person isn't interested in that way.
This reminds me of the episode of Sex & the City where Miranda discovers the concept of "He's just not into you" when guys dont' call back. Women's approach to that is they hang on but get further and further away. I think its further confused by the fact that women are not often real clear about what they want from their lives & themselves. So they get wishy washy. This chick has demonstrated that she's not reliable and because you are always there regardless of all the shit she pulls, she keeps doing it.
IMO -- dude it sounds like you're very dedicated and loving - but she's not worth your time. Its not your job to enable someone like that who doesnt' respect you enough to be responsible for herself and be truthful to you. Have that much respect for yourself to demand that sort of treatment from someone you are willing to give that much to.
Good luck!
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