Ladies...EMT needs some woman advice

[E M T]

I'll try to keep this short. I have been very good friends with a girl that I have known since we are both in junior high. We are in our mid twenties now, and for some reason I have started to develop feelings for her. For the last few months we have gone out and spent time together every day. She always tells me and others that I am her best friend. We have even kissed a few times, and she tells me she can she herself marrying me and she wants to go with me when I move away in a year. The thing is, even though I never bring anything up about a relationship, she says that if we started dating she knows it would be very serious and she is not ready for that right now. The whole thing just makes me very confused because we already act like a couple. So, what should I do? I can either keep things how they are right now, but I know it's going to kill me if we are so close and she starts dating someone else casually. Or, I can try to put some distance between us and hope she misses me. By the way, I tried the putting space us thing before and she called one of my friends completely depressed. Anyway, I am open to other opinions. This whole thing is just driving me crazy. THANKS

 

[alphaxi]

Hmmm..this is all very familiar territory for me. My current bf and I have been friends for a long time..but this past summer it all turned upside down. We both had feelings for each other, kissed here and there and were basically attached at the hip for 2 months. But he told me the exact same thing she told you...that he wasnt ready for a serious relationship. I accepted that fact but we still acted like a couple...so finally I just put my foot down..told him how I felt...and found out that he felt the same way. He was just too scared to tell me how he felt..cause he thought I was the one who didnt want to be with him!
To make a long story short...we talked about the future and we both realized that we wanted to be with each other..for good. So, here we are! Now I am moving to where he is and we are gonna one day get married!!

I guess my advice is this: BE HONEST!! Tell her how you feel...being honest never hurt anyone right? Besides, it could turn out to be the start of a wonderful relationship! You just never know unless you take a chance.
Good Luck!!

 

[E M T]

Hmmm..this is all very familiar territory for me. My current bf and I have been friends for a long time..but this past summer it all turned upside down. We both had feelings for each other, kissed here and there and were basically attached at the hip for 2 months. But he told me the exact same thing she told you...that he wasnt ready for a serious relationship. I accepted that fact but we still acted like a couple...so finally I just put my foot down..told him how I felt...and found out that he felt the same way. He was just too scared to tell me how he felt..cause he thought I was the one who didnt want to be with him!
To make a long story short...we talked about the future and we both realized that we wanted to be with each other..for good. So, here we are! Now I am moving to where he is and we are gonna one day get married!!

I guess my advice is this: BE HONEST!! Tell her how you feel...being honest never hurt anyone right? Besides, it could turn out to be the start of a wonderful relationship! You just never know unless you take a chance.
Good Luck!!

Actually, I have told her how I feel and it hasn't changed anything.

 

[Night Fly]

Would it be totally off the wall for you to start dating someone else and see what she does? Maybe she just needs to realize how her life would be without you to 'act' like her SO...you know?

 

[bunnymt]

Would it be totally off the wall for you to start dating someone else and see what she does? Maybe she just needs to realize how her life would be without you to 'act' like her SO...you know?

I don't know. That would be an extreme. He doesn't want to date someone else, he wants to date her. Playing games leads to nothing but hurt feelings and bitterness. Be yourself and be honest with her. Don't change anything. If it is meant to be, it will happen. JUst relax and go with the flow.

 

[Night Fly]

I don't know. That would be an extreme. He doesn't want to date someone else, he wants to date her. Playing games leads to nothing but hurt feelings and bitterness. Be yourself and be honest with her. Don't change anything. If it is meant to be, it will happen. JUst relax and go with the flow.

Good point...I don't know why I said that...I don't ever do that myself.

Brain fart. lol

 

[boss]

i just want to watch.........sorry but i had to say it........

 

[E M T]

I have thought about dating someone else, but I think that would put in a worse position. I don't want to win her over by playing games, and I wouldn't want to go running back to her when she realizes she wants me back. Besides, she already knows that there are other girls ithat are nterested in me that I talk to often. I'm thinking about telling her if she just wants to be friends then we need to start acting that way, and that I have to stop seeing her so much. What do you think?

 

[bunnymt]

I have thought about dating someone else, but I think that would put in a worse position. I don't want to win her over by playing games, and I wouldn't want to go running back to her when she realizes she wants me back. Besides, she already knows that there are other girls ithat are nterested in me that I talk to often. I'm thinking about telling her if she just wants to be friends then we need to start acting that way, and that I have to stop seeing her so much. What do you think?

Dont change anything! Let things be the way they are. who cares about titles anyway? If the two of you enjoy spending time together, what does anything else matter. People waste too much energy on the way things are 'supposed' to be. Like I said before, just go with the flow and you will see how things will fall into place for yourself.

 

[Night Fly]

There is nothing wrong with seeing her a lot....just don't act like you two are a couple. A lot of people overanalyze really close friendships. Maybe not acting like you two are together will make her want to be together with you. What do you think?