jesus

[Lao Tzu]

alright boys & girls. i just thought of something funny involving jesus.

assume jesus masturbated (most everyone does). seeing as how vaseline wasn't invented yet i would assume he would look for any lubricant he could find.

perhaps after a while of using spit, he realized that if you took a large mouth dead fish, and used that as a device that it smelled & felt the same way that a woman's vagina does.

seeing as how jesus was creative, i wouldn't put that past him. if he did do that, i wonder if, while sitting in his cave jacking off with a dead fish he stops and says to himself 'i can't believe i'm the first person who thought of doing this'.

im going to sleep.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I personally might be the first person to do something.... but not involving fish.

and hot damn, that's gonna piss off a lot of people.
I like it.

 

[Taps]

Maybe he just dry-handed it.

Besides, I'm sure some caveman jerked off with a dead fish a few thousand years before Jesus came along.

 

[smallmovesal]

ok my reading comprehension is bad right now.. but are we talking the fish mouth? because fish have those pointy tooth things... oowwwwie

 

[HappyScrappy]

not all fish have teeth.

what is FAR more likely to have hurt, was grasping the fish. if you go one way, then their fins are just slimy - but if you go the other way, they jab into your hand and they are ouchy with the nasty slime as well.

so if your grips changed at all during the jesus session (I think that technique should be called "the jesus"), then your hand was in for a world of pain.
some fish have poison in them fins too... hot damn (I'm liking that saying apparently)

 

[minion]

You've obviously stayed up way past your bed time.

 

[huntmaster]

Nordstrom--You are a sick individual and I pray for your soul---Science is OK here on earth but when you die it will not save your soul.

 

[Lao Tzu]

thats fine man. i know i'm sick.
i can't really get into a discussion about religion, as my views are pretty much set, and i'm sure yours are too.

 

[HappyScrappy]

nicely handled nordstrum
I'd give you karma if I had any.

 

[huntmaster]

Yeah--I guess different oppinions is what makes this crazy world so interesting

Peace

HM

 

[pauly]

.

 

[cyberstiener]

He didn't need to. He would have been the Magic Johnson of his day.