it's over

[Buddy_Christ]

showed up 10 minutes late for settlement today. oh well. whole thing took about 50 minutes.

i'm so glad that this part of my work is done. it was a long nightmare.

after settlement, i called my grandmother up and "asked" her if i could have the pleasure of taking her out to dinner. we went to Bennagins cause it was the only place i knew of in the immediate area that would cook a steak half decently, and i felt i deserved a good sirloin.

after dinner, i took her back and we were in her room talking for a little bit. i brought up the house, as she hadn't even mentioned once that she hoped she goes home soon. yes, we did have a meeting where we discussed all of this with her. when i brought up the house, however, she acted like it was news to her that the house was up for sale. anyway, i told her that it sold today. it was her house, she has a right to know, even if she's kinda confused about the whole thing. she was upset, of course. we were discussing it though, and she asked if i had met the person who bought it. i was going to tell her the truth, that the person that bought the house is going to fix it up and raise his family there, but my son inturrupted us by playing with the balloon they gave him when we showed up. that was cool though, cause we played with him for a little while and never got back on the subject of the house.

so i guess a whole series of my threads comes to a close now since all this is over and behind us. that's good though.

thanks again to everyone that's not only put up with my threads and posts on this subject, but also for the kind comments. you're all good bros. if anyone of you ever find yourself in a similar situation, i might be able to offer some advice based on my own experience.

again, thanks to all.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

You did what you had to do, now I'm happy that it's over for you.
You're a good man for helping your grandma out.

 

[georgie24]

how much did you wind up getting?

 

[Buddy_Christ]

thanks ulcaster.

well, i'm not releasing any numbers on an open forum. yeah, what the house sold for is a matter of public record, but we had the mortgage and other bills to pay down. i'll put it this way....i think she's got enough money to carry her for 6, maybe even 7 years, including what she gets every month in social security and my grandfather's pension. once her assets are gone, however, the assisted living home she's in right now won't toss her out, they'll just reduce her monthly "rent" to meet her income. they're JCAHO Accredited, so they get kickbacks from the federal government every year. the accreditation is a good one though, and from what i've heard has some stringent standards that must be met year after year to keep. i think nursing homes are required to have this accreditation, but assisted living homes are not. so since they have it, that said a lot to me in terms of quality when we picked this place.

damn i wish that money was mine. i could sure use a new truck. if i did something like that, however, i'd be no better than that wretched bitch that is my mother. she already robbed my grandmother of a shitload of money. her total lack of concern for my grandmother's well being and her blatant stealing of her money is what got me involved in this situation. at least i was able to step in before things went even further.

 

[scriptfactory]

Respect. Too many people don't take care of their family members in today's society. Good for you crakhead.

 

[georgie24]

thanks ulcaster.

well, i'm not releasing any numbers on an open forum. yeah, what the house sold for is a matter of public record, but we had the mortgage and other bills to pay down. i'll put it this way....i think she's got enough money to carry her for 6, maybe even 7 years, including what she gets every month in social security and my grandfather's pension. once her assets are gone, however, the assisted living home she's in right now won't toss her out, they'll just reduce her monthly "rent" to meet her income. they're JCAHO Accredited, so they get kickbacks from the federal government every year. the accreditation is a good one though, and from what i've heard has some stringent standards that must be met year after year to keep. i think nursing homes are required to have this accreditation, but assisted living homes are not. so since they have it, that said a lot to me in terms of quality when we picked this place.


i know you didnt do this for nothing, you have to of had gotten or will get out of this deal. nobody puts up with STRESSFULL BULLSHIT for nothing

damn i wish that money was mine. i could sure use a new truck. if i did something like that, however, i'd be no better than that wretched bitch that is my mother. she already robbed my grandmother of a shitload of money. her total lack of concern for my grandmother's well being and her blatant stealing of her money is what got me involved in this situation. at least i was able to step in before things went even further.

 

[Pamela]

Good Grandson!!!

 

[ChefWide]

Said it before, will say it again: You are good, honorable man.

We will all die, naked and alone, on a field not of our own choosing, what matters is what we do with the time we are allotted. You did what's right, I will raise a glass to you tonight and a glass to your grandmother's good fortune at having you as a grandson.

I will also raise a glass to your mother. She will reap the benefits of her life, as you will yours.

Selah.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

way to look out for family

 

[georgie24]

you guys think he did all this shit for free? nobody has/gets a nervous breakdown for nothing. im sure he's benefiting some how some way

 

[scriptfactory]

you guys think he did all this shit for free? nobody has/gets a nervous breakdown for nothing. im sure he's benefiting some how some way

Actually I take care of my family like this whenever I have a chance. It's family, and I know I was taken care of my family ("for nothing") when I was growing up. It's not like he was helping a bum on the street...

 

[rnch]

you guys think he did all this shit for free? nobody has/gets a nervous breakdown for nothing. im sure he's benefiting some how some way

didn't know crak's mother posted here!

 

[Buddy_Christ]

i know you didnt do this for nothing, you have to of had gotten or will get out of this deal. nobody puts up with STRESSFULL BULLSHIT for nothing.

you guys think he did all this shit for free? nobody has/gets a nervous breakdown for nothing. im sure he's benefiting some how some way

if from the beginning i would've kept all my reciepts from trips down there (gas, food, tolls) to work on the house, meet with the realtor, etc, i could have legally reimbursed myself. i also could've logged all my hours (and everyone else's hours that came up to the house to help out), set a reasonable hourly rate, and distributed funds accordingly. it would have been legal.

i did neither though.

so what did i get out of this, you ask? well, for starters, i know that my grandmother is in a safe place where she's recieving the care that she needs. she's still highly functional and active for her age (she will be 84 in September), but she can not remember to take her medication and wasn't taking the best care of herself. now i know she's eating right and that her medications are given to her when she needs them. the last time she stopped taking her medications, she landed in the hospital. her blood pressure was 220/115, her blood sugar count was 200 (she's diebetic, not insulin dependant). the overly high blood pressure led to confusion and disorientation. i don't even want to think about what would've happened if there had not been intervention.

but i'm sure the above answer wasn't what you were looking for, was it? if this had not been a family member, i wouldn't of put so much time and effort into the situation. family is family though. no one else was willing to step up and take charge of the situation. no one wanted the responsibility. i did what had to be done, with the risk of losing my own sanity in the process (but hey, i managed to get a B in my Adolescent Psych class earlier this summer). i put my son through hell, as i had to take him with me every weekend, but i made sure he had plenty of movies and toys to keep him entertained and i kind of spoiled him here and there on those long weekends as well (and i do NOT spoil my children). there was no financial gain from the situation. if there was, i'd be posting pictures of my new Toyota Tacoma right now.

yeah, i could cry as i sit here and look at the check from settlement and realize that i busted my fucking ass to help her get that money. i would be crying, however, if there had not been intervention and my grandmother was found dead in her home because no one stepped up to take care of her. i am not listed in her will, so i won't even benefit when she does pass on.

so you're still questioning why i did all of this since i didn't make any financial gain, aren't you? ask yourself if you would do the same if it was one of your family members. ask yourself if you would be doing it for the money or just simply because you happen to love that person.

of course there is a paper trail from the day i took over my grandmother's finances. everything is legitimate. why put myself at risk for a lawsuit for abusing her money? as a Power of Attorney, I would expose myself to legal reprocussions if i took advantage of her financially. but besides the fact that it would be illegal, i wouldn't do it anyway. why not? i'm sure you still want to know. it's simple.....i have a good set of morals and values. i believe in taking care of those that have taken care of you. some people are not fortunate enough to have a good family and i can understand that. i wouldn't of done any of this for my mother, as she was just waiting for my grandmother to die so she could benefit. when she dies, i'll be tempted to piss on her coffin as they lower it, but i won't because it'll be a waste of good piss. anyone else in my family, however, i would do the same for because i know they would do the same for me.

so why have i posted a lot of this on a message board? i'm sure you're wondering, so i'll tell you. i never saw myself getting into a situation like this. i never thought i could remove a loved one from their own home and place them into a nursing home or assisted living home. it's one of the most difficult things for anyone to do. the things people have posted in response to my situation, while comforting, mean absolutely nothing to me compared to the comfort and peace of mind i now have that my grandmother is being taken care of the way she deserves to be (all those comments are a reassurance that i've done the right thing and worked hard to take care of her, however, and they've all been appreciated greatly). hopefully i've shown that there ARE still good, honest, caring people left in this world; given others comfort in the knowledge that there is still hope for mankind and that not everyone has turned into a materialistic, self centered, greedy person. i also hope that by showing what i've gone through, i may have given someone else the strength to do the same if they ever have to take care of a loved one. i will give anyone else any advice i can if they find themselves in a similar situation, or simply just listen if that's all they need.

 

[PHATchik]

Glad it's behind you now.

 

[gonelifting]

Good work.