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Is she interested? Is she not?

confusedmushie

New member
So, this girl works with my brother. She's pretty fine and really really smart! Anyways, I mentioned to my brother that I am kinda interested in her. With his big mouth, he mentions to her what I had told him.

Since then, I have started to talk to her. Several different times, she has asked 'us' to go out with her to go and play pool with her and her roommates. Out of the different times she's asked us, I have always been occupid with something at that time, so as of right now, I have had no chance to go and chill with her.

Well, on Saturday, my brother, with his big mouth again, he asked her to come over after work and chill. To my surprise, she said yes. She didn't come right from work, she went home and showered and such before she came.

She comes over and we start watching 8 Mile. Half way through, my brother goes to bed. After the movie, we started to talk. The whole time, I thought she wanted to leave. We talked for about an hour and a half, until about 4am. She leaves. The conversation was nothing sexual, just your normal everyday conversation.

IS SHE INTERESTED?

Please help me out!!!

Ian
 
I think so too, but I am just paranoid. I don't know. I have tried on several occasions to ask her to go out, but something always happens to come up. Yesterday, I had lunch with her, but I totally didn't get the 'she's into me' feeling, so I backed off (went to lunch with my brother, her, and this other girl from his work).

I am so damn confused!

Ian
 
she is, but being that she is really really smart you have to approach her differently than a normal woman. I'd say you're doing a very good job so far.

The next step would be to tell her you had a great time talking with her that night and you were wondering if she might want to go out some time.
 
heh, depends on the girl, i had a girl i really liked, we were just friends but i liked her a lot, she just moved to town, and invited me over to her house about 6 times or so, we talked a lot, she called me on the phone and I called her too. Then I told her I liked her and she said she was flattered but just wanted to be friends, havent been to her house or talked to her opn the phone since. Its tough sometimes dude, be patient, maybe get a friend to try and find out, you proably dont wanna ruin a good friendship if thats all there is between you two
 
ajtomasi - Thank you for the advise! That's what I am planning to do. She's home for a couple of days, it sucks because she's working all weekend too. I will take my time on this one, because think she's a keeper. She's a Phyc major and a criminal justice minor, way smart!

Ian
 
damn.. you blew it... stayed till 4am? You could have fucked her.. now she prolly thinks you're not really into her because you were too scared to lay the pipe...

dont be so damn shy bro
 
tempest2003 said:
heh, depends on the girl, i had a girl i really liked, we were just friends but i liked her a lot, she just moved to town, and invited me over to her house about 6 times or so, we talked a lot, she called me on the phone and I called her too. Then I told her I liked her and she said she was flattered but just wanted to be friends, havent been to her house or talked to her opn the phone since. Its tough sometimes dude, be patient, maybe get a friend to try and find out, you proably dont wanna ruin a good friendship if thats all there is between you two

I hear you man! My big mouth brother has told her that I am interested. That's the only thing that I really have to go by. From my train of thought, I don't think she would have came over after knowing that I am interested and stay till 4. I would think that if she has no interest, she's actually would try to stay away. I will find out....taking my time as you have said!

Ian
 
SV2 said:
damn.. you blew it... stayed till 4am? You could have fucked her.. now she prolly thinks you're not really into her because you were too scared to lay the pipe...

dont be so damn shy bro

Damn, I also have thought about that!!!!!!!!

And I also have turned her down like 5 times I think when she's asked us to go out.

I hope she don't think that I am no longer NOT interested, because I am!!!

Ian
 
Come on everyone, give me your 0.02. What would you do in my case, don't need any BS, but just suggestions.

Don't want to blow it.

Ian
 
I'd guess it's more likely that she's interested than not. The advice that comes to mind is to find out how she feels in an indirect way. In other words, at no point, should you come out and ask questions like "so, what do you think of me?", "do you like me?", or "how is this date going?"...

Not that this would necessarily turn her off, but it's just bad style in my opinion. But, it's often human nature to ask because we want to know. However, just remind yourself that one needn't ask such questions, because the answers shall be revealed to you in the fullness of time.

Just relax.
 
jackangel said:
I'd guess it's more likely that she's interested than not. The advice that comes to mind is to find out how she feels in an indirect way. In other words, at no point, should you come out and ask questions like "so, what do you think of me?", "do you like me?", or "how is this date going?"...

Not that this would necessarily turn her off, but it's just bad style in my opinion. But, it's often human nature to ask because we want to know. However, just remind yourself that one needn't ask such questions, because the answers shall be revealed to you in the fullness of time.

Just relax.

Best advise so far I think. That's what I am trying to do. It's just that I have this itch to find out how she feels and hence the reason why I am asking here!

Thank you for the words, karma for you my friend.

Ian
 
Bro she has kept pressing the issue to go out and do something. She stayed till 4am talking to you. Do you need a written note from her with a circle yes or no question on it?? She is diggin ya man make the next move.
 
SupraHero said:
Bro she has kept pressing the issue to go out and do something. She stayed till 4am talking to you. Do you need a written note from her with a circle yes or no question on it?? She is diggin ya man make the next move.

I know I know.....just that when she does ask, she's asking for both my brother and I to go, not me. I guess that might be an indiret way for her to do it. I have had no chance yet, but I will take any chances that I have!!!!

Thanks.

Ian
 
confusedmushie said:

She comes over and we start watching 8 Mile. Half way through, my brother goes to bed. After the movie, we started to talk. The whole time, I thought she wanted to leave. We talked for about an hour and a half, until about 4am. She leaves. The conversation was nothing sexual, just your normal everyday conversation.



Why didn't you make a move on her? Sometimes, you only get one shot at the title and you have to take advantage of the situation. Nothing Ventured=Nothing Gained. Unless she really really digs you, you probably won't get another chance.
 
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Ok you sound like the type of dude who needs it put up on a billboard before you risk asking her out or trying to kiss her. It has already been put up on a billboard for you, you just need to point your head in its general direction and read it. I'll try to help.

Your brother told this girl that you are interested in her. Girl then proceeds to ask you to hang out with her. <--(YOUR FIRST CLUE)
Your brother again mentions to her that you like her. Your bro invites her over. She comes over, not to mention showers and gets ready beforehand. <--(YOUR SECOND CLUE) Girl continues to watch the movie with you after your brother goes to bed, and it's now just the two of you. <--(YOUR THIRD CLUE) Movie ends...girl does not go home but rather continues to hang out with you and chat until 4am. <--(YOUR FOURTH CLUE)

Ask her out. Show some initiative and confidence.
 
confusedmushie said:
ajtomasi - Thank you for the advise! That's what I am planning to do. She's home for a couple of days, it sucks because she's working all weekend too. I will take my time on this one, because think she's a keeper. She's a Phyc major and a criminal justice minor, way smart!

Ian

you're welcome, now here's the sticky part, being that she knows that you are interested in her, she's probably going to be expecting you to ask her out, which you should do and this shows that you have follow-through
 
First of all, you gotta check out her body language. Does she touch you when you guys talk? Does she smile a lot? Seem focused on you? Laugh at your bad jokes? Touching is the key one, though. Some women touch everybody indiscriminately, but generally women communicate interest through body contact. Stuff like touching your arm, minor things.

The fact also that she seems to want to hang out with you is good. Generally girls don't sacrifice sleep staying up til 4am talking to a guy they barely know.

Not that this would necessarily turn her off, but it's just bad style in my opinion. But, it's often human nature to ask because we want to know. However, just remind yourself that one needn't ask such questions, because the answers shall be revealed to you in the fullness of time.

I completely agree with this. Asking something like that not only accomplishes nothing, it turns her off. Yes, I'm serious. The biggest turn-off for women is men who come on too strong. Oh, and also guys that smell :D.

What you need to do now, unless you've already done so, is to get her number in a very direct, no-BS sort of way. "I enjoyed our conversation the other night, and I'd like to continue it sometime. What's your phone number?"

Then take her out, and try to close her (read: kiss) on the first date. Then you'll have your answer.

-casualbb
 
SV2 said:
damn.. you blew it... stayed till 4am? You could have fucked her.. now she prolly thinks you're not really into her because you were too scared to lay the pipe...

dont be so damn shy bro

I agree bro. You missed a prime opportunity there. She probably wont give you a second chance like that, but if she does, you´d better not hesitate the next time.
 
fistfullofsteel said:



if she let him go that far.

funny......when they are with me they don't really have much say. you'd be surprised what a hand over the mouth and do for you. (muzzles work too but are way to obvious)
 
Opportunity was knocking and you didn't answer. I think its a rather safe assumption you blew it when you should have been blowing it when you two were alone. Now all you can do is bow your head in shame knowing you fucked up one of the prime opportunities of life. Now you will be alone forever never again to get a chance to get laid. Just kidding. She likes you but next time don't be such and pussy and nail that pussy.
 
supersizeme said:
Ok you sound like the type of dude who needs it put up on a billboard before you risk asking her out or trying to kiss her. It has already been put up on a billboard for you, you just need to point your head in its general direction and read it. I'll try to help.

Your brother told this girl that you are interested in her. Girl then proceeds to ask you to hang out with her. <--(YOUR FIRST CLUE)
Your brother again mentions to her that you like her. Your bro invites her over. She comes over, not to mention showers and gets ready beforehand. <--(YOUR SECOND CLUE) Girl continues to watch the movie with you after your brother goes to bed, and it's now just the two of you. <--(YOUR THIRD CLUE) Movie ends...girl does not go home but rather continues to hang out with you and chat until 4am. <--(YOUR FOURTH CLUE)

Ask her out. Show some initiative and confidence.

I just want to be sure. Don't want to move to fast and scare the girl away. I can't get a hold of how she's feeling. I am normally pretty good about things like that. She's asked us out, she's came over, but when we have been alone, I don't get the whole flirty feeling. I think that's what is missing that is making me a little more reserved.

Don't know!

Ian
 
fistfullofsteel said:



Ask her out????:confused: He should have been fucking her brains out on the couch. Of course if she let him go that far.

She don't seem to be that kind of a girl! Believe me, if I got a flirty feeling from her, I'd jumped on it. BUT I DIDN'T.

CONFUSED.

Ian
 
ajtomasi said:


you're welcome, now here's the sticky part, being that she knows that you are interested in her, she's probably going to be expecting you to ask her out, which you should do and this shows that you have follow-through

I know!!!! The next chance I get, I will do it! I will let you all know!!!! Hope all's well!!

Ian
 
casualbb said:
First of all, you gotta check out her body language. Does she touch you when you guys talk? Does she smile a lot? Seem focused on you? Laugh at your bad jokes? Touching is the key one, though. Some women touch everybody indiscriminately, but generally women communicate interest through body contact. Stuff like touching your arm, minor things.

The fact also that she seems to want to hang out with you is good. Generally girls don't sacrifice sleep staying up til 4am talking to a guy they barely know.



I completely agree with this. Asking something like that not only accomplishes nothing, it turns her off. Yes, I'm serious. The biggest turn-off for women is men who come on too strong. Oh, and also guys that smell :D.

What you need to do now, unless you've already done so, is to get her number in a very direct, no-BS sort of way. "I enjoyed our conversation the other night, and I'd like to continue it sometime. What's your phone number?"

Then take her out, and try to close her (read: kiss) on the first date. Then you'll have your answer.

-casualbb

She has not made contact with me! She smilied the whole time we were talking. She is very focused when we talked and that's true even online when we IM each other.

Still don't know........

Need more confirmation.

Ian
 
MFMan said:
Opportunity was knocking and you didn't answer. I think its a rather safe assumption you blew it when you should have been blowing it when you two were alone. Now all you can do is bow your head in shame knowing you fucked up one of the prime opportunities of life. Now you will be alone forever never again to get a chance to get laid. Just kidding. She likes you but next time don't be such and pussy and nail that pussy.

Don't know. Hope she don't think that I am not interested. I have no been able to talk to her these past two days. I will make the move if she lets me this weekend!!!!

Ian
 
Well, she coming over tonight.

Now, I must say, it seems that my brother is doing all the inviting. He works with her and I do not go into his work all the time. When he saw her today, he asked her to come over. She said yes. She's either into me or into him, not sure.

I will find out tonight.

Ian
 
Okay if you're brother's asking her out for himself when he knows you like her, that's fucked up. Now, if he's asking her out because you won't, that's fucked up. Quit waiting for chances and opportunities and make one for yourself. SSME's right man, she's basically throwing every sign at you an "intelligent" girl would. You say she's not stupid, and she's proved it because you're confused. If she comes over tonight, you DAMN well better say something like "you know, I have a great time with you. I was wondering if you might be interested in going out sometime?", and in some way make it clear it's just the two of you. You've been with your brother and friends, now it's time to take the training wheels off. You can do it bro. Grab the bull by the horns, and all that shit. :)
 
flexygrl said:
Ian,

Good luck!! Kiss Dusty for me!!

J

Dusty enjoyed the BIG WET KISS he got!

Well.....update......

She came over last night (Wednesday), stayed until around 4 am again. NO, I didn't fuck her, I didn't even get to first base for that matter. We watched a movie and talked a lot! In between the talking, I asked, "So, will you let me take you out, without my brother", she replied, without hesitation, "Sure".

Tonight. She was at work. My brother hooked up with this other chick at his work. They (him, that girl, and the girl I am into 'V') all decided to go out for ice-cream after they got off. My brother came home briefly and the girl he's into called and I spoke to her. She mentioned that they were going to go get some ice-cream and invited me.

At the time, I didn't know if I was welcome by 'V'. I decided to not go, since I had some company. When my brother got back to work, I get a phone call. To tell a long story short, she wanted me to go, so my brother tells me.

We went out for ice-cream, not much happened.

But it's all progressing.

She wanted to go and play pool tonight. I am waiting for her to get home right now and we will see what happens from there.

So, what do you all think?

Ian
 
confusedmushie said:
So, this girl works with my brother. She's pretty fine and really really smart! Anyways, I mentioned to my brother that I am kinda interested in her. With his big mouth, he mentions to her what I had told him.

Since then, I have started to talk to her. Several different times, she has asked 'us' to go out with her to go and play pool with her and her roommates. Out of the different times she's asked us, I have always been occupid with something at that time, so as of right now, I have had no chance to go and chill with her.

Well, on Saturday, my brother, with his big mouth again, he asked her to come over after work and chill. To my surprise, she said yes. She didn't come right from work, she went home and showered and such before she came.

She comes over and we start watching 8 Mile. Half way through, my brother goes to bed. After the movie, we started to talk. The whole time, I thought she wanted to leave. We talked for about an hour and a half, until about 4am. She leaves. The conversation was nothing sexual, just your normal everyday conversation.

IS SHE INTERESTED?

Please help me out!!!

Just ask her. Like I ever do it.

Ian
:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
confusedmushie said:
biteme - what exactly does that mean?

Ian

If you want to know, just ask her. Easier said than done for some of us including myself.
 
Save a lot of time and just go for it!
 
You already made yourself a PUSSY to her by not making a move when you were alone with her at night. You talked about mundane things and didn't move the conversation or body language. One time is ok --- maybe she things you aren't totally interested and are actually trying to decide if she is good enough, which could be good. But more likely, she knows you would enjoy bangin' her and thinks you are too scared to do it.

You better make a move soon or she will lose her attraction to you.
 
You were alone with this girl FOR THE SECOND TIME TILL 4AM AND YOU STILL DIDNT" TRY TO MAKE A MOVE?? Dude I suggest reaching down and seeing if you posess any balls. Get with the program man, if you don't make a move soon she will move on to another guy that will actually at least "try" to fuck her instead of boring her to tears with another 4am convo. GET WITH IT!!!
 
SupraHero said:
You were alone with this girl FOR THE SECOND TIME TILL 4AM AND YOU STILL DIDNT" TRY TO MAKE A MOVE?? Dude I suggest reaching down and seeing if you posess any balls. Get with the program man, if you don't make a move soon she will move on to another guy that will actually at least "try" to fuck her instead of boring her to tears with another 4am convo. GET WITH IT!!!
Alone two times??? Ok, you *might* have another chance if she hasn't found someone else to satisfy her by then.
 
Ian,

You are a sweety!! Don't listen to these guys, you are doing it all right!! You are treating her with repect. If she is a "good" girl she will appreciate it. She definetly likes you though!!! If you want a relationship with this girl, just let nature takes its course. My husband and I didn't even kiss until our second date. Good luck!!

:D
 
flexygrl said:
Ian,

You are a sweety!! Don't listen to these guys, you are doing it all right!! You are treating her with repect. If she is a "good" girl she will appreciate it. She definetly likes you though!!! If you want a relationship with this girl, just let nature takes its course. My husband and I didn't even kiss until our second date. Good luck!!

:D

I try to ignore some of the things that are said on this board. I, however, do take them all into consideration. I read into what's being said and at times, they make sense to me, even if the message was a negative one.

Well, I am not that type of person that jumps on a girl the moment I sense there's chemisty. It never really worked for me that way. The way I see it is, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

To me it's not all about sex. Don't get me wrong, would love it, but I'd rather take it slow and have things work out right. I am not sex deprived enough to screw this one up.

If for some reason, she thinks that I am not interested because I have not jumped on her, then she's not worth it. I would rather have something for the long run, than just a fling. Especially with her.

We went out last night. I still did not attempt first base, didn't feel it was the right time. We hung around till 5 this morning and she went home. I have a pretty good sense that she also likes me and could have probably done a little more. But, I didn't. We will see, time will lead me to do the right thing. I am taking her out on our first offical date on Monday, we will see what happens there.

The only thing that I am not all that thrilled about is that she's 21 and is still in the partying scene. She likes to drink, smokes, and goes out a lot. I am not really all into that anymore. At least not into it until I make all my neccesary changes that I have set for myself. Don't know, like I said, we will see.

Thanks all for the advises and comments!!!

Ian
 
plornive said:

You better make a move soon or she will lose her attraction to you.

This is very true. Trust me, after a while if you dont make a move the girl will usually give up and move on to someone else. Unless of course she decides to take matters in her own hand and make the move for you. But I wouldnt sit around and bet on that to happen.
 
I got that part. The past couple of nights didn't seem to be the right time to do it. I know there has to be a mutrual attraction between us, otherwise she'd not be over for the past 2 nights till 4 or 5 in the morning. I will make the move soon.

Stay tuned.

Ian
 
confusedmushie said:
ajtomasi - Thank you for the advise! That's what I am planning to do. She's home for a couple of days, it sucks because she's working all weekend too. I will take my time on this one, because think she's a keeper. She's a Phyc major and a criminal justice minor, way smart!

Ian

Which Uni does she attend? I might know her. Since I don't know you, I'd be more than willing to put in a few good words on your behalf.
 
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