Insomnia...

[H_T_]

if you ever have had it or even if you haven't, i'm sure you know how much people crave sleep. but when you're unable to manage more than 4-5 hours per night, for .........8-9 months, maybe more, it starts to errode your brain. you have no mental acuity after a while, everything is done by repetition. falling into a simple routine. i can't remember shit most of the time & carry that "i know i forgot something important" tag with me all day. and when i do fall out, when i wake up, it's like having my brain wiped clean. have to go around and play detective with myself, wondering when the hell i got groceries, unopened packages that have sat for days, etc. and even some of the shit i type here, i'm like wtf? i must have gotten pissed.....and these fucking drugs, they just keep piling up. a mg of xanax doesn't do shit for me anymore. i get a new script for something every 6 weeks or so, from working while fatigued. just got a shit load of nexium or something, for ulcers.

anyone else out there never sleep anymore? do you know what's on tv right now? radio? i know all of it, spending 19-20 hours a day awake, with not enough energy to be considered active but never tired enough to sleep.....and your head constantly being filled with stimuli, that you can't filter out, only let it rocket about your head like a couple of chinks playing ping pong. i swear i have seen every episode of MASH, Star Trek and Batman in the last 6 months....

 

[blueta2]

ok so it's confirmed....the ulcer?

 

[blueta2]

And last night I slept maybe 2 hrs. My cat is in heat and HOWLED all night. I was about to wip out my toy to help her out a little.....poor girl!

 

[H_T_]

ok so it's confirmed....the ulcer?

the doc gave me some stuff for it, so i assume so. he didn't really offer a diagnosis. but i was there a month ago and the just blew it off & attributed it to stress.

 

[hotzie]

dude i hate it i dotn sleep more than 5 hours ever. and there are times i cant sleep at all i just lay there and try to sleep and fuckin it sux.

 

[H_T_]

dude i hate it i dotn sleep more than 5 hours ever. and there are times i cant sleep at all i just lay there and try to sleep and fuckin it sux.

yeah. that's it. you expend energy concentrating or focusing on how badly you need this rest. and then you're pretty much defeated for that day, because you start to dwell on how much more difficult everything is going to be that day. and then rewriting schedules, no workouts, skip dinner to try and nap, etc....

 

[hotzie]

yeah. that's it. you expend energy concentrating or focusing on how badly you need this rest. and then you're pretty much defeated for that day, because you start to dwell on how much more difficult everything is going to be that day. and then rewriting schedules, no workouts, skip dinner to try and nap, etc....

yea thats how it normally goes for me , ill come home from work and take an hour nap just so i stop seein weird shit and then ill be lucky if i get any sleep that nite. it just wears you out like you wouldnt believe

 

[H_T_]

yea thats how it normally goes for me , ill come home from work and take an hour nap just so i stop seein weird shit and then ill be lucky if i get any sleep that nite. it just wears you out like you wouldnt believe

i fall out around 6-8pm for a few hours. then around 11-12, i'm up, wide awake. i'll pay some bills, cook some stuff and then take my xanax & maybe, if i'm lucky, fall asleep by 3am. only to wake around 7. that busted sleep pattern sucks. and if i used sleep meds, i feel worse. i drag ass cuz it's still in my system all day.