If you've worked hard on your body then you deserve a physically attractive mate.

[HansNZ]

Hans, your socialistic concepts have even permeated into your love life: you "deserve"?? You deserve nothing in this world save the opportunity to accomplish that which you can.

I agree with you on the looks concept. The first senses of the mind is that of sight, and that which is beautiful is beautiful to the mind, so looks will be the first impression of the mind. After beauty has been met, the mind requires more stimulation, which is why beauty without substance loses value quickly.

I don't believe that beauty and personality are mutually exclusive, either.

LOL, OK, I wish I had chosen a word more prudent than "deserve".

Basically what I am saying is that I have put all that work into my appearance. With that work I am able to attract a physical specimen of a more pleasing standard than I would have been able to back when I was a skinny, zitty, 18 year old.

Since I have the capacity to attract attractive partners, why should I settle for some average looking Joe, just because of some PC idea that it is only the personality that counts.

I totally agree that personality is an essential ingredient. What I am trying to say to people on this thread is that I have met attractive jerks and attractive nice people. I have met plain looking jerks and plain looking nice people. Why should I not have an attractive nice person as a partner instead of a plain nice person? I get this holier than thou attitude from others when I place any weight on the attractive element instead of solely on the nice element.

The fact remains that I enjoy the company of nice people. But unless they are physically appealing as well then they don't do it for me between the sheets.

 

[HansNZ]

HANZ, Every gay man in every small town faces the same problem.
The winners move to bigger towns, and the loosers stay behind.
MOVE!

Sydney is only 3.5 hours away by plane. It is a smorgasbord of spunky men. But sex is only one element in a person's life. My life where I am now is overall very satisfying. It just comes with a large dose of sexual frustration.

I am also the marrying type, but the Sydney environment (like most big cities) is not one where guys tend to settle down together. It is easy to get a first date but hard to get a second. The homos where I live tend to be more domestic. All I need is one good one, then i'll stop whingeing, lol!

 

[ariolanine]

I noticed you keep referring to your people as "homos." Is that standard practice?

 

[HansNZ]

I noticed you keep referring to your people as "homos." Is that standard practice?

We use the word homos sometimes to refer to ourselves. We find it an offensive term if it is used in a contemptuous manner. It is somewhat like the way black people might call eachother "nigger".

 

[Sinistar]

Since I have the capacity to attract attractive partners, why should I settle for some average looking Joe, just because of some PC idea that it is only the personality that counts.

your depth is astounding. you want to know what your problem is? take a look in the mirror.

you are ultimatly shallow, and your love has conditions. you are as fucked up as youir situation. i hope theres a guy out there that will make you happy, and i hope your personality fucks you out of him.

obviously looks are more than a passing requirement for you.

i look at you and your ilk as nothing more than cunts with a large self entitlment streak. make up your mind pal, which is it: looks or love. sometimes those things dont mix. gay or straight, life isnt perfect. its a zero sum game. your needs arent being met? then drop some of your fucking needs.

while i dont care for gay man, or gayness in general, i always thought a gay guy would be pretty grounded due to the inordinate amount of shit you have to deal with. again my theory is wrong. your just a man with a large female streak.

theres alot of deep seated mania on this board.

 

[nevertoobig]

As a whole: charisma, uniqueness, extroverted, compassion


On a personal level, it's when you interpret someone's manerisms, body language, and communications as pleasureable to yourself.

That's how I see it anyway...

Sounds like a good desciption to me. The reason I'm asking is that so often people talk about a 'good personality', but i think everyone has a different perception of what that is.

I think women find confident guys to have 'good personalities' and to many people, good communicators will always seem like they have good personalities.

But then there are many people who aren't confident/good communicators who have all the values people would list of someone with a good personality.

 

[HansNZ]

your depth is astounding. you want to know what your problem is? take a look in the mirror.

you are ultimatly shallow, and your love has conditions. you are as fucked up as youir situation. i hope theres a guy out there that will make you happy, and i hope your personality fucks you out of him.

obviously looks are more than a passing requirement for you.

i look at you and your ilk as nothing more than cunts with a large self entitlment streak. make up your mind pal, which is it: looks or love. sometimes those things dont mix. gay or straight, life isnt perfect. its a zero sum game. your needs arent being met? then drop some of your fucking needs.

while i dont care for gay man, or gayness in general, i always thought a gay guy would be pretty grounded due to the inordinate amount of shit you have to deal with. again my theory is wrong. your just a man with a large female streak.

theres alot of deep seated mania on this board.

I am not shallow. Your superficial judgement of me is shallow.

I don't buy into your false looks OR love notion. I choose looks AND love because attractive looking people can be nice and lovable too. I am not co-dependent on others, so I don't HAVE to have a partner, if all that is on offer are sloths.

I see nothing wrong with wanting someone who has cultivated their body. We value educated minds and cultivated personalities, but throw scorn on those who seeks these values in someone's physical appearance.

Unless you are bisexual then don't preach to me about love having physical conditions. Every heterosexual who doesn't have sex with people with compatible personalities of the same sex is "shallow" by your definition. My best freind (straight) who is like a soulmate to me is not "shallow" because he doesn't want to have sex with me. His physical requirements are those of a female form, not a male.

 

[AAP]

Well attractive looks are the first impression. Make no mistake about it. Looks are what get me, personality-intellect-ambition is what keeps me. People with beauty impairments - no matter how sparkling and charming their personality - will never be considered partner material by me. And I honestly do not care if anyone finds that statement shallow.

Now that said... it should be obvious that I spend a lot of time on my body. But do I look for someone that is equally self conscious and gym devoted? No. Actually, I have no attraction to other muscled individuals. I do like atheletic men who are in shape, but not bodybuilders. Rather than find someone who has devoted hundreds and hundreds of hours in the gym, I would much rather find someone that has devoted that time to culture experiences, travel, learning maturity and working in their career. I like people who devote time to themselves, but not gym wise.

As John said... in small towns, you find those people everywhere. That is why they are in small towns. They have not expanded their culture awareness or desires to leave that town. Rather than try something new, they just stay there and remain unchanged - and this shows in all aspects of their life - career, gym efforts, success.

As far as deserving someone goes... I can understand what HansZ meant by it. Rather than look at what I think I deserve, I prefer to look at what the other person deserves. Do you really think that some 20 year old Blockbuster employee or hair slinger whose idea of a vacation is to run to Pensacola on Memorial Day or Disney World on Gay Day deserves me? Do they deserve someone who has busted his ass to get a college education and successful career? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.

I want somebody that I can brag to my friends about as much as he brags to his friends about me.

 

[bwood]

Well attractive looks are the first impression. Make no mistake about it. Looks are what get me, personality-intellect-ambition is what keeps me. People with beauty impairments - no matter how sparkling and charming their personality - will never be considered partner material by me. And I honestly do not care if anyone finds that statement shallow.

Now that said... it should be obvious that I spend a lot of time on my body. But do I look for someone that is equally self conscious and gym devoted? No. Actually, I have no attraction to other muscled individuals. I do like atheletic men who are in shape, but not bodybuilders. Rather than find someone who has devoted hundreds and hundreds of hours in the gym, I would much rather find someone that has devoted that time to culture experiences, travel, learning maturity and working in their career. I like people who devote time to themselves, but not gym wise.

As John said... in small towns, you find those people everywhere. That is why they are in small towns. They have not expanded their culture awareness or desires to leave that town. Rather than try something new, they just stay there and remain unchanged - and this shows in all aspects of their life - career, gym efforts, success.

As far as deserving someone goes... I can understand what HansZ meant by it. Rather than look at what I think I deserve, I prefer to look at what the other person deserves. Do you really think that some 20 year old Blockbuster employee or hair slinger whose idea of a vacation is to run to Pensacola on Memorial Day or Disney World on Gay Day deserves me? Do they deserve someone who has busted his ass to get a college education and successful career? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.

I want somebody that I can brag to my friends about as much as he brags to his friends about me.

if you were female, you would have made a great sorority girl...

 

[casavant]

if you were female, you would have made a great sorority girl...

LMAO. I wish I could give you karma twice in a day.