I was walking down my street today

[satanic goatslayer]

and I noticed that a man had tipped over in his motorized wheelchair and was pinned underneath it. I asked him if he needed any assistance. He apparently took this as an offer and told me to hurry up. I do not like being told what to do, so I told him that if he wanted help, he should ask nicely. He told me to shut up and help him out.

I picked the wheelchair up off of him and as he attempted to get up, I tossed it back onto his head, sending him into a state of unconciousness. I then took the opportunity to carve my initials into his abdomen using a Philips-head screwdriver. I left a note pinned to his back with a railroad spike that read

"Dear sir, I am sorry that I carved my initials into your abdomen, but you must realize that you are of no use to society, and you are better off as a canvas for my artwork than anything else. When you pass away, could I use your skin to make new drapes for my kitchen?"

I then returned home. I feel that I may have been a touch too harsh with my words, and I would like to repair this situation ASAP. He had his telephone number engraved into his Medical Alert bracelet that I stole from him, so should I just phone him and apologize, or would it be best to just let time heal his wounds?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[METHYL MIKE]

I think you should arrange to meet him, then dump the chair on his head again!! fuck i hate rude people!!

 

[Jimsbbc]

I am not sure why, but i enjoy these stories....

 

[supersizeme]

SG I think the best thing to do in this situation is contact the man and find out where he lives. Break into his house one night and attach a tazer gun to his nads that is hooked up to the Clapper. Then take him to gameshow tapings like Wheel of Fortune for several hours.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Thank you for your replies thus far.

METHYL MIKE - I contemplated that, but thought that maybe death would be better.

supersizeme - Very creative. I think I will use that one, or a variation of it.

The_One - I'm speechless.

 

[sinister_storm]

SG....you are my idol !!

 

[satanic goatslayer]

You shouldn't idolize an outhouse cleaner/sheep herder, unless you ultimately want to be one yourself.

Most people don't.

 

[sinister_storm]

Funny you mention that,im already there.

 

[YellowD]

Who doesn't carry a phillips head screwdriver with them in their pockets these days?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

I always wear a tool-belt when I go out, just for these types of situations.