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i was such a bad dude tonight

G

GoldenDelicious

New member
well, since it was a blue moon tonight, i decided to go out on the town and have a bit of a laugh ;) and just for a change i was looking...well, you mofos all know how i looked. do i really need to say it? of course not. (damn i looked good ;) fockin great, really :D ) and anyway, my mate and i didnt realise that tonight was the annual Metwurst, Cabana and Salami Fest :( daaaaaaaaaaaamn there were a lot of guys in that place! even with my looking wonderful, i knew that tonight was just an impossible mission, so i figured i would just focus on my beer and having a good time on the dancefloor, trying as best i could to avoid the hungry tentacles from all the filthy swamp beasts that were trying to snare me. someone should do something about all those swamp things, really, its just not funny anymore. i mean, how many times do you have to have some 300 pound Jabba-the-aesthetically-challenged-almost-female slurp her way across the room and half burp, half slurr that her friend "thinks youre hot".

well, no shit, of course im hot. as if i need telling. duh!! :rolleyes:

so anyway, the night was a dismal failure, and to make myself feel better, i went to the 24 hour supermarket to get some salt and vinegar crisps to have before i went to bed (theyre right here, actually), and as i was leaving with one of my mates, we notice that there was this guy that he knew about to go to the mensroom, walking with a girl who is a bit of a known slut about to go to the ladies...so just to be cheeky little shits, we say to the guy "go into the ladies with her, son! nows your chance!!" and so the guy, drunk off his nut, does exactly taht - he goes into the ladies room with this little raver chick, with about a 99% chance of getting lucky. so anyway, we took about ten steps away from the bathroom when a particularly surly looking security guard walks by, and gives us a smile. now, i dont know who said it first, and im SURE it was my mate because im such a nice guy, but we both said to the security guard along the lines of: "mate, theres this guy that just walked into the ladies room following this chick, looking really sleazy! he looked like he was up to something! you should go sort him out, before something bad happens!!" and this 240 lb mean looking mofo hoofs it into the bathroom, looking like a man with a mission :evil:

im such a bad person, i havnt laughed that much since i hid a fish under my mates front seat after he went fishing, and was listening to him complain that his car stunk to high heaven, that he had had his windows open trying to get rid of the stink for 3 days and 3 nights, and that he didnt know where it was coming from ;)

karma is going to bite me in the ass so bad :(
 
GoldenDelicious said:
trying as best i could to avoid the hungry tentacles from all the filthy swamp beasts that were trying to snare me. someone should do something about all those swamp things, really, its just not funny anymore. i mean, how many times do you have to have some 300 pound Jabba-the-aesthetically-challenged-almost-female slurp her way across the room and half burp, half slurr that her friend "thinks youre hot".
well, no shit, of course im hot. as if i need telling. duh!! :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


Best Description of the year!!! That should be in the hall of fame! hahahahahahahaha!!

Karma!
 
youre ALWAYS at clubs GD. not much to do down under is there?
 
dang
 
:lmao:

Another GD classic;)

Bot mate, do you ever actually get laid? Theres always stories of you goiong into clubs, and coming out of them, but no girls?

WTF
 
GoldenDelicious said:
bor, people work their asses off to do exactly what im doing

i think you must be jealous

and :rainbow:
Click to expand...


u know what they say, all the good men are either taken or :rainbow:

hey wait a minute, what have i done..
 
JerseyArt said:
:lmao:

Another GD classic;)

Bot mate, do you ever actually get laid? Theres always stories of you goiong into clubs, and coming out of them, but no girls?

WTF
Click to expand...
jersey, let me just give you a bit of insight into my predicament: i currently live in a place where there are about 100 000 people. we ahve a large military population, being in australias north, with along the lines of some 15000 odd military personell being posted up here for 1-3 years in the various army/navy/airforce bases. most of these guys are young (under 30) single, male, with pockets full of cash and nothing to spend it on except booze and cars, since they live on base where they pay a stupidly low amount of money for rent/board. then we have some of the largest mines in the world being located on my proverbial doorstep, with tens of thousands of workers - again, mostly men - having lots and lots of money but jack shit anything else, all coming into the city for 1 week per month to have a good time. then, being an extreme sort of place that is being developed rapidly, we have a booming construction industry, with tradesmen from interstate and overseas coming here to work, make money, and leave. many of these guys come with their families, sure, but a goodly number of them are single men. then, just to prove the adage "things can always get worse", we have various militaries coming here for RnR, usually about 4000 men or so at a time, for several weeks. we get americans (you guys cant dress for shit, by the way), italians (who arent as smooth as they think they are), indonesians (little rock apes, at least they dont compete for women) sudanese (no one goes near these AIDS mofos) and a bunch of other pricks all turning up with a few grand to blow in a weekend.

so, what you end up with is a place full of sex starved guys who will do and say ANYTHING to get a bit of action. the real ratio of single men to single women is something along the lines of 3-4:1 without exaggeration, and in a club environment, there are hordes of guys just hanging to get with a girl.

oh, and i almost forgot. all these sexually frustrated mofos usually have nothing to do but play sport, work out, and fight.

now what do you think this does to the female population in the place? do you think that there is terribly much pressure on them to lose weight, do their hair, do their makeup, act girly etc? no. these three toed escapees from Gehanna know that all they have to do to get a guy is snap their fingers, and so rather than exercise, live well etc, they practice drinking, swearing, and lovingly growing the fat octopus tentacles wrapped around their guts to a size resembling an arterial oil pipeline coming out of Baghdad. im telling you, these freaking gargoyles think that cankles are the new black, and that having a "Bundaberg Rum" sticker on the back of their car is actually appealing. hell, i think that due to natural selection, their labia actually resemble testicles. its fucking atrocious.

now me, maybe i love myself a bit, and maybe i dont, but i get a lot of female attention. usually the 'females' we are talking about have to be certified through chromosomal identification, but what it comes down to is that if i want to get a girl, i can get a girl - but i have standards. the way i see it, she has to be AT LEAST as pretty as i am. if that means i dont get as much action as i could, then so be it. the last thing i want to do is look around the room and cringe when i see the deformities i have been with, like my mates do. no way.

and now, after that essay...yes i get girls :) and theyre among the best in the damn place :) i just dont tell anyone about it :)

"i got a rep to protect!" ;)

you bunch of mofos. when i go on holiday and im in a club, im like Jackie Chan fending off the girls trying to grab my bum dammit ;)
 
We know where you live and the ratios, you've told us like 20 times now
 
superqt4u2nv said:
GoldenDelicious if it were not for you and your stories there would be even less entertaining threads on elite :qt:
Click to expand...
yeah well, im glad youre entertained. meanwhile, its saturday afternoon and i know that the pickins are going to be slim tonight...but im staying positive. mind over matter. LOOK! leftover salt and vinegar chips! woohooo!! its going to be a good one, i can feel it! ;)
 
GoldenDelicious said:
well, since it was a blue moon tonight, i decided to go out on the town and have a bit of a laugh ;) and just for a change i was looking...well, you mofos all know how i looked. do i really need to say it? of course not. (damn i looked good ;) fockin great, really :D )
Click to expand...

Who said you were lookin good? I have serious doubts about your continuos posts saying "going out", "lookin good", "I was in a fight", "I'm a smart ass" Do you really have a life? :rolleyes:

I know guys...I know what you are all thinkin...finally somebody said what everybody is wondering....lol :evil:
 
GoldenDelicious said:
uuuuuuuuuh mi amiga Smurfy es bella? ;)

or was it grassa porka? i always screwed those up ;) (lol jk)
Click to expand...

I think its the first one. lol
 
djufo said:
Who said you were lookin good? I have serious doubts about your continuos posts saying "going out", "lookin good", "I was in a fight", "I'm a smart ass" Do you really have a life? :rolleyes:

I know guys...I know what you are all thinkin...finally somebody said what everybody is wondering....lol :evil:
Click to expand...
djufo, if youre head wasnt pointier than your penis, you might understand that most of what i say, and how i say it, it for entertainment. furthermore, if you werent such a useless bastard with women, you might also realise that my comments in other threads reflect my character, and that that character is indeed one that many women find appealing, if only for shits and giggles in a 2 week relationship.

im afraid that youll never see a photograph of me and therefore wont know if im an attractive guy or not, nor will you ever meet me in real life and accomplish the same thing. others from elite have already done both, and so are better people to ask, if its that important to you...though the fact that you care, and the snide remarks you make, reflect your own stupidity/insecurity.

at the end of the day im just some guy on the net interacting with a bunch of people that ill never meet, but having a good time doing it, and thats all that really matters.

sincerely,
looking damn fine as usual,
GoldenDelicious
 
where in australia are u? my cousins are in melbourne. from what ive seen from the pics , the women there are fugos. btw, hit me back u karma whore.
 
Yarg! said:
where in australia are u? my cousins are in melbourne. from what ive seen from the pics , the women there are fugos. btw, hit me back u karma whore.
Click to expand...
im in Crocodile Country, waaaaaaaaaaaaay at the top next to indonesia :)

what the hell is a fugo, anyway?
 
GoldenDelicious said:
djufo, if youre head wasnt pointier than your penis, you might understand that most of what i say, and how i say it, it for entertainment. furthermore, if you werent such a useless bastard with women, you might also realise that my comments in other threads reflect my character, and that that character is indeed one that many women find appealing, if only for shits and giggles in a 2 week relationship.

im afraid that youll never see a photograph of me and therefore wont know if im an attractive guy or not, nor will you ever meet me in real life and accomplish the same thing. others from elite have already done both, and so are better people to ask, if its that important to you...though the fact that you care, and the snide remarks you make, reflect your own stupidity/insecurity.

at the end of the day im just some guy on the net interacting with a bunch of people that ill never meet, but having a good time doing it, and thats all that really matters.

sincerely,
looking damn dork as usual,
GoldenDelicious
Click to expand...



Dude, you posted pics in the pics of members forum some time ago. Besides a skinny brownie, you're nothing extraordinary to say "Damn I really look good" If I see you in a magazine, web site or any sign that you are a model and make money from it, OK. Hands down, You have the right to say that you look really good. But your comments are more related to low self esteem and insecurity. "tryin to be somethin" and that sucks. That's so dumb.

Anyway, in the cyber-world, we all play different roles. Everything is fictitious. Just a little part is real. You decide who you wanna be on this game.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
djufo, if youre head wasnt pointier than your penis, you might understand that most of what i say, and how i say it, it for entertainment.
Click to expand...

djufo said:
Dude, you posted pics in the pics of members forum some time ago. Besides a skinny brownie, you're nothing extraordinary to say "Damn I really look good" If I see you in a magazine, web site or any sign that you are a model and make money from it, OK. Hands down, You have the right to say that you look really good. But your comments are more related to low self esteem and insecurity. "tryin to be somethin" and that sucks. That's so dumb.

Anyway, in the cyber-world, we all play different roles. Everything is fictitious. Just a little part is real. You decide who you wanna be on this game.
Click to expand...


:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
fugo= fucking ugly, its usually fugly, but i prefer ugo or fugo. one day when i come to visit my cousins, can i come up there and party with u? we can like go crocodile hunting, box kangaroos and have a beer and bbq party?
 
Yarg! said:
fugo= fucking ugly, its usually fugly, but i prefer ugo or fugo. one day when i come to visit my cousins, can i come up there and party with u? we can like go crocodile hunting, box kangaroos and have a beer and bbq party?
Click to expand...
ok

its BYO chicks, though. i dont have any to spare, in case you didnt notice ;)
 
GoldenDelicious said:
ummmm a little over a quarter of a century ago, somewhere in america, two retards had a child...
Click to expand...

...who later migrate to Australia...
 
djufo said:
...who later migrate to Australia...
Click to expand...
you migrated to australia?

bullshit. it isnt official policy, but they dont let anyone in who is likely to be a burden on the social system

NOW whos telling lies, eh?
 
im putting everyone on notice: im going out in about 2 hours. if it goes well, expect a thread. if it goes VERY well, well...dont expect a thread ;)

and also, i exect that i will be looking really good

thanks

;)
 
update: 20:43

i know its only been 5 minutes, but i just have to share, im just bursting inside...looking good ;) everything is according to schedule ;)
 
jackangel said:
LMAO at the end of this thread

the level of wit in this thread is humbling

hehehe
Click to expand...
ok now you ahve to PM me and tell me exactly what you meant by that comment ;)

oh and djufo...like fine wine, bro, like fine wine ;)
 
its showtime, ladies ;) let me do a quick checklist:

extra tablespoon of hotness....check
rolled up socks to stuff down my boxers...check
Bring-Em' Runnin pheremone spray...check
extra large condom wrapper to 'accidentally' drop on floor when taking out large bills...check
3 hundred dollar notes which i have not spent in 5 years, but make great wrappers for 20s...check
1 fake ID with name Micheal Mancini, in case i meet some chick who likes Melrose Place...check
1 wet wipe, for toilet doors...filthy things, yuk...check
1 rubber penis, 10" long, in case i feel like standing next to some big mofo at a urinal and making him feel insecure...check (also good to freak people out when you stir your martini)

ok bors. lets roll ;)

(lol i always wanted to say that ;) )
 
GoldenDelicious said:
its showtime, ladies ;) let me do a quick checklist:

extra tablespoon of hotness....check
rolled up socks to stuff down my boxers...check
Bring-Em' Runnin pheremone spray...check
extra large condom wrapper to 'accidentally' drop on floor when taking out large bills...check
3 hundred dollar notes which i have not spent in 5 years, but make great wrappers for 20s...check
1 fake ID with name Micheal Mancini, in case i meet some chick who likes Melrose Place...check
1 wet wipe, for toilet doors...filthy things, yuk...check
1 rubber penis, 10" long, in case i feel like standing next to some big mofo at a urinal and making him feel insecure...check (also good to freak people out when you stir your martini)

ok bors. lets roll ;)

(lol i always wanted to say that ;) )
Click to expand...

:lmao: I think I am in :heart: with you or maybe just your ego ;)
 
superqt4u2nv said:
:lmao: I think I am in :heart: with you or maybe just your ego ;)
Click to expand...
sweety in greek, ego means 'me'

so theyre the same thing ;)

ooooooooook i think my blood alcohol reading right now is probably .15, so im going to tell you mofos how it went:

1st, just to spite djufo, i looked good :) damn good :D i looked so good, taht when i was making my way through the dancefloor, all the sour chicks thinking i was some sleazy mofo putting my hands on their hips (ok, ok, so what, i was putting my hands on their hips ;) ) smiles and went along with it ;) AND, when i was helping a mate pick up on the dancefloor, i was getting jiggy with this chinese girl (wowee some of those oriental girls look really nice!) AND there was a girl there who had just got off teh plane from brisbane who was really keen :) AND the bargirls were all smiley :) AND the girl at the door gave me 1/2 price without me asking, just because :)

and so even though im typing on EF instead of kissing some girl, i dont care :) it was a really good night :) and i think there are some salt and vinegar chips around here somewhere :)

i really needed that, it was great :D

gnite, all you mofos :)
 
GoldenDelicious said:
lol no way, not happening ;)

youll just have to buy a ticket, qt ;)

anyway, im going to have a snooze, and have sweet dreams of myself :)

cu s :)
Click to expand...


Hey superqt you'll never get any of those "lookin good" pics...lmao!!

:mexican:
 
djufo said:
Hey superqt you'll never get any of those "lookin good" pics...lmao!!

:mexican:
Click to expand...
I have seen more then a few of him already uberhot best way to describe hime but don't tell him that wouldn't want to inflat his ego anymore then it already is. ;)
 
superqt4u2nv said:
I have seen more then a few of him already uberhot best way to describe hime but don't tell him that wouldn't want to inflat his ego anymore then it already is. ;)
Click to expand...
someone give this girl some K, im out :D

...thanks qt, i think youre being too kind though, half of the pics you saw were me flexing so hard my eyes were going to pop ;) :heart:
 
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