satanic goatslayer
New member
That had spilled from my container of unpleasant substances when a small man approached me, asking for some directions to the nearby brothel.
The man was rat-like in appearance, almost ratty enough to be named Splinter. In situations like these, I always heed my father's words.
"When a man looks like a rodent, stab him in the belly and go treasure hunting in his gutbag"
So stab I did.
I was singing some Slick Rick as I plunged my dagger into the rat-man's abdomen. I tore the knife downward with a ferocity that I rarely achieve this time of year. His innards began to spill out, so I began to punch his pancreas in an attempt to bring forth the sacred amylase. That didn't work.
So I worked my way to his liver and beat the shit out of it for a while.
I struck bile.
Eureka, I said.
Eureka.
I bottled it up and thanked the dead rodent-man. Thank you for giving me the gift of bile. For now I am truly the luckiest man on Earth.
After ripping out an elderly lady's eyeballs to prevent her from seeing any more atrocities, I decided to continue on my way to the bottle depot.
Recycling is beneficial to us all.
The man was rat-like in appearance, almost ratty enough to be named Splinter. In situations like these, I always heed my father's words.
"When a man looks like a rodent, stab him in the belly and go treasure hunting in his gutbag"
So stab I did.
I was singing some Slick Rick as I plunged my dagger into the rat-man's abdomen. I tore the knife downward with a ferocity that I rarely achieve this time of year. His innards began to spill out, so I began to punch his pancreas in an attempt to bring forth the sacred amylase. That didn't work.
So I worked my way to his liver and beat the shit out of it for a while.
I struck bile.
Eureka, I said.
Eureka.
I bottled it up and thanked the dead rodent-man. Thank you for giving me the gift of bile. For now I am truly the luckiest man on Earth.
After ripping out an elderly lady's eyeballs to prevent her from seeing any more atrocities, I decided to continue on my way to the bottle depot.
Recycling is beneficial to us all.