Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

I was cleaning up some vomit

That had spilled from my container of unpleasant substances when a small man approached me, asking for some directions to the nearby brothel.

The man was rat-like in appearance, almost ratty enough to be named Splinter. In situations like these, I always heed my father's words.

"When a man looks like a rodent, stab him in the belly and go treasure hunting in his gutbag"

So stab I did.

I was singing some Slick Rick as I plunged my dagger into the rat-man's abdomen. I tore the knife downward with a ferocity that I rarely achieve this time of year. His innards began to spill out, so I began to punch his pancreas in an attempt to bring forth the sacred amylase. That didn't work.

So I worked my way to his liver and beat the shit out of it for a while.

I struck bile.

Eureka, I said.

Eureka.

I bottled it up and thanked the dead rodent-man. Thank you for giving me the gift of bile. For now I am truly the luckiest man on Earth.

After ripping out an elderly lady's eyeballs to prevent her from seeing any more atrocities, I decided to continue on my way to the bottle depot.

Recycling is beneficial to us all.
 
Environmental concerns obviously don't hold much weight here.

The three R's saved my life.

Reduce the amount of blood held by convenience store clerks.

Reuse their bone fragments as decorative centerpieces.

Recycle their useless souls.

Ninety-nine.
 
Satanic Goatslayer said:
Environmental concerns obviously don't hold much weight here.

The three R's saved my life.

Reduce the amount of blood held by convenience store clerks.

Reuse their bone fragments as decorative centerpieces.

Recycle their useless souls.

Ninety-nine.

Lovely.
 
Top Bottom