I need an excuse to leave work

[jnevin]

I have all of my shit done, it's the first nice day in two weeks, and I just took some ephedra and am jumping out of my skin. My new manager is trying to make a good impression on my RVP and is being a total fayg. I want some reasons to get the flock out of here. Okthanksbye.

 

[tahoe2003]

Say your gf is at home waiting to give you a bj

 

[jnevin]

Say your gf is at home waiting to give you a bj

Dood's a bigger Mormon than Brigham Young. Won't work.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Just walk out and if bossman gives you a hard time, slap him in front of everyone.

Assert dominance and the rest will fall into place.

 

[jnevin]

Just walk out and if bossman gives you a hard time, slap him in front of everyone.

Assert dominance and the rest will fall into place.

Dick slap or traditional?

 

[buffer1]

say a family member got in an accident and you need to go and get them

 

[Griz1]

Tell them your dog is sick and you need to take him to the vet, and do in front of other people too. If the guy denies you - everyone thinks he's a grade A asshole. He'll realize it and let you go.

 

[jnevin]

say a family member got in an accident and you need to go and get them

He knows my whole family lives in Philly. I'm thinking I should pull my sack out of my pants, walk into his office and tell him I sat in bubble gum and need to change.

 

[jnevin]

Tell them your dog is sick and you need to take him to the vet, and do in front of other people too. If the guy denies you - everyone thinks he's a grade A asshole. He'll realize it and let you go.

That has promise. I have more pics of my dog on my desk than I did of my wfie when I was married. Now why didn't that work out?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Dick slap or traditional?

I was thinking bitch, but whatever works.

 

[buffer1]

He knows my whole family lives in Philly. I'm thinking I should pull my sack out of my pants, walk into his office and tell him I sat in bubble gum and need to change.

for some reason i dont think that would work,lol

 

[seizer]

Say your dog ate your homework.

 

[jnevin]

for some reason i dont think that would work,lol

Everyone's a critic. Sheesh!

 

[mountain muscle]

Tell them you water broke.

 

[buffer1]

say you forgot about a dentist appointment

 

[jnevin]

Tell them you water broke.

I used that the last few weeks. He'll catch on eventually.

 

[buffer1]

I used that the last few weeks. He'll catch on eventually.

well then i guess your stuck at work

 

[Griz1]

That has promise. I have more pics of my dog on my desk than I did of my wfie when I was married. Now why didn't that work out?

Dunno? She wouldn't do it "doggy-style"???

I can hear the groans across the internet!

 

[Sub-Zero]

Dood's a bigger Mormon than Brigham Young. Won't work.

aniversary?

 

[UA_Iron]

tell them you got cancer and it needs to be taken care of./

 

[jnevin]

Dunno? She wouldn't do it "doggy-style"???

I can hear the groans across the internet!

I even bought peanut butter. She just didn't catch on.

That was bad too. Yours was worse. Yup. Worse.

 

[buffer1]

just say you feel like shit and want to go

 

[jackangel]

tell him it's a heavy flow day.

if he looks confused, show him the blood stains in your crotch area.

 

[jnevin]

tell him it's a heavy flow day.

if he looks confused, show him the blood stains in your crotch area.

Does it matter if they're in the back of my pants?

Long story...

 

[UA_Iron]

tell him it's a heavy flow day.

if he looks confused, show him the blood stains in your crotch area.

is that digger red I see?

wtf did you do jackangel?

 

[jackangel]

is that digger red I see?

wtf did you do jackangel?

that's not from digger

i made the mistake of agreeing with one of your monkey posts

the flood of red karma i got in response surprised even me

 

[UA_Iron]

that's not from digger

i made the mistake of agreeing with one of your monkey posts

the flood of red karma i got in response surprised even me

one of my posts?

 

[jnevin]

that's not from digger

i made the mistake of agreeing with one of your monkey posts

the flood of red karma i got in response surprised even me

lol

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Tell him you sharted.

Just in case you don't know, a shart is when you gamble and lose. You think you're gonna fart but you get a little suprise.

I wouldn't use that one often though or people in the office are going to think you've got serious problems. It's pretty much only good for a once every few months excuse.

 

[H_T_]

diarrhea, bro, diarrhea.