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I need advice, please help, everybody!!!

P

Peyote Killa

New member
Ok, here is the situation

There is this girl, (we will call her J) she is the best thing that could ever happen to me. I really like her a lot. Well we hooked up about 2 months ago, while her and her botfriend were on a kind of "break" if you will. We hit it off reaaly well, and I really became attached to her. Anyways she stopped talking to me for about a month or so, because she was getting back with her boyfriend, and I guess she didn't know how to tell me, so she just stopped talking to me.
Well, I ran into her the other day, and we talked for a bit. then yesterday she called me and asked me if I wanted to do something, of course I said yes. We went out to get lunch, then hit the Galleria (biggest mall in the great state of TX), and shopped for a while, then we went to dinner and then I she invited me to chill at her place for a while. nothing physical happened, but we had alot of fun and now I'm confused.

she says that she likes me, but loves her boyfriend, and that is all she will say.

What can I say, or do, to let her know I am serious. Or is there any kind of advice anybody can give me as to what I should do. How should I play this situation.

Also I should mention that when we did hook up a couple months back, we were basically together, she stayed at my place for like 2 weeks and we slept together and all that shit.

Need help, Send Help!!?
Please!!!
 
Tie her up on your bed and do not for any reason let her go till she agrees to date you and love you and be your widdle cuddle bunny. If that doesn't work in two weeks just keep her fed with a glucose IV and you have a sex slave in training.
 
look, havoc is not ready for a commitment right now as he's still in love with JohnnyO. you should step back and let that situation work itself out.

seriously peyote...don't waste your mental energy worrying about this girl. she's in a relationship right now. if she really liked you enough for you to consider focusing your attention on her and get serious about her, she'd ditch her boyfriend and get with you. you are "on the back burner." not necessarily a bad thing if you just want to hook up every now and then, but always keep in mind that they way she's acting right now is the way she'll probably be acting with you one day if you two get into a relationship. some other dude will be in your position right now. don't get serious about this girl. keep surfing and find a nice honey on the beach.
 
I respect you PK, but give the BF his do...If she does not like him anymore or wants to discontinue the relationship with him, then thats find. But it should be something done before she starts hanging out with you. No matter if you think hes an ass or not, he was and is her current BF and for that the man deserves more than his GF hanging out will you all day.

Also in this current sit. I see nothing but trouble foryourself...trust me...she is not being totally honest and seems to be playing both of you...In the end I see to two parties being hurt here, you and he.

.02
 
WODIN said:
Tie her up on your bed and do not for any reason let her go till she agrees to date you and love you and be your widdle cuddle bunny.
Click to expand...

bunny...I heard my name so I decided to reply. I would not get involved with a girl who has a boyfriend and wants to keep him. At least, I would not get involved with her on an emotional level. If you can just hook up with her and drop the emotions, then it is a different story( but you may have to deal with an angry boyfriend in the future). Save yourself some heartache and headache and move on.

bunny
 
supersizeme said:

seriously peyote...don't waste your mental energy worrying about this girl. she's in a relationship right now. if she really liked you enough for you to consider focusing your attention on her and get serious about her, she'd ditch her boyfriend and get with you. you are "on the back burner." not necessarily a bad thing if you just want to hook up every now and then, but always keep in mind that they way she's acting right now is the way she'll probably be acting with you one day if you two get into a relationship. some other dude will be in your position right now. don't get serious about this girl. keep surfing and find a nice honey on the beach.
Click to expand...

No, bullshit, that really made me feel a little bit better. I just have this wierd feeling in my stomach about her. Yesterday had me thinking way too much, and I was confused cuz I do like her, but I like how you put things in perspective.
I still would like to persue a relationship with her, cuz I know the situation she is in, she's in because it is comfortable, and she just does not want to change, but I know she is happerier with me, she told me. But I don't kow, she is a girl.
Thanx for your advice, and if anybody else has some send it this way, please
 
You deserve a lady who wants to do all those fun things with you and YOU alone.

Grab that surf board and leave her in your wake.....
 
HI gave some good advice, too. I realize that 99% of guys out there in the world will not give two shits about hitting on your girlfriend even when they know that she is taken, but for you to respect that shows character.

Another thing...if you essentially let this girl know that you're not interested in pursuing anything with her while she has a bf, she'll see that you're not a chump. This will in all likelihood make things better for the future when/if the relationship she's in right now ends and her focus shifts your direction. A guy with healthy self confidence does not pursue relationships with girls who already have boyfriends. He can just as easily find a girl without a boyfriend as opposed to pining away for someone who is taken. She will recognize this and have more respect for you in the end. Be her friend and keep in contact with her, but don't push it past the friendship level. I know this is easier said than done, but it will work almost every time.
 
Yes, it is nothing but trouble. So many women, so little time.
 
supersizeme said:
She will recognize this and have more respect for you in the end. Be her friend and keep in contact with her, but don't push it past the friendship level. I know this is easier said than done, but it will work almost every time.
Click to expand...

I was going to say the exact same thing...
 
I realize that I need to just lay off and be her friend, but like you said that is easier said than done.

I will try, because I know the rewards will be greater that way, and I need to do what is best for me. You guys have really enlightened me with some great advice, and I will need more so stay tuned.

Keep this advice coming, I will use all of it.
 
I've had this happen to me more than once - you are the spare guy - kept around "just in case," and because it's fun and makes her feel powerful. Wouldn't it be great to have spare women that you could pick and choose from and call on whenever you want? I think most guys wouldn't mind that, and wouldn't discourage the women unless there was a good reason. She's already made it clear that after sampling both, she prefers another guy over you, and every time you play her game you're setting yourself up for more disappointment in the long run. I say cut your losses and find another girl.

JMHO - good luck.
 
AziaReign said:
Peyote

Check your box
Click to expand...
done,

alright great advice from the guys, any girls want to input their advice, or does it all rein true. I think it does, but if you can add anything else to this already sticky situation please do.
Thanx again
 
why do you want a relationship with a girl that cheats on her boyfriend? do you think you are someone special and she wont do it to you? i think not. i've been there man, it is nothing but fucking trouble. seriously
 
Peyote Killa said:

done,

alright great advice from the guys, any girls want to input their advice, or does it all rein true. I think it does, but if you can add anything else to this already sticky situation please do.
Thanx again
Click to expand...

Use baby wipes, they can unstick anything.


Everyone is telling you to cut bait and leave it alone.

Yet you keep digging...

You my friend are looking for a line to back up what you want to do which is hump her silly and make her yours.

Don't look to any group for any justifications for what you want in life PK. It's a waste of time.

That's my take on it.
 
p0ink said:
why do you want a relationship with a girl that cheats on her boyfriend? do you think you are someone special and she wont do it to you? i think not. i've been there man, it is nothing but fucking trouble. seriously
Click to expand...

She never cheated on her boyfriend, we just hung out. When we were dating or whatever they were not together. That is why I did not try to do anything with her yesterday, cuz she has a bf, I would not want her to cheat on him with me, for the exact reason you just stated. I just want to know what I should do or say to get the information from her that I want.

Which is basically what it is that she really wants and where I stand in her life. That's really all I want to know. I'll be happy if she wants more, but it wont kill me if she says she just wants my friendship.
 
WODIN said:


You my friend are looking for a line to back up what you want to do which is hump her silly and make her yours.

Don't look to any group for any justifications for what you want in life PK. It's a waste of time.

That's my take on it.
Click to expand...

I know, I'm an idiot with a penis, what can I say. I know you are right, as is everybody else who inputted on this thread. I will do what is best, but it will hurt temporarily, but I'll be fine.

Thanx for the harsh honesty, I needed it. Much appreciated
 
Peyote this is a classic situation, it's happened to alot of people. I can tell you this, the guy in your situation NEVER wins. The best thing you can do is get out before you get any more attached, because your feelings for this girl will never be totally reciprocated.
 
Azia I hit you back

To all that has replied to this thread, I want to thank you, and let you know I will take your advice and do what is best. I will let you know what happens as it unfolds in the next couple of days

Thanks again
 
This girl is a control freak. Just ditch her.

You will be happier in the long run. Find a girl who does not love someone else.
 
Come on bro, you obviously dont have any problems getting girls. i mean, all the chicks on this site is falling over themselves because of you. its not worth it, she has a bf, and now she has someone to dump all the shit on. she will come running everytime something is wrong. you will get your hopes up, and then she goes back to her bf and you will be crushed. forgett about it. being "a good friends" with girls sucks, dont do it.
 
Thank you guys for the advice, I am going to talk to her tonight, and tell her that I need to be away from her.

Everything will be fine, lets hope so atleast.

Thanx again, and I really appreciate all the kind advice, especially from those of you whom I hardly know.
 
well it sounds like you have given this alot of thought. but have you tried to look at the situation from a third person point of view? try to see you feelings from a passive prospective. mabey you are just lonely and need approval. try to realize that while this woman (j) might be a great person in your eyes, she is not the only one. and it seems impossible to start a seriouse relationship with a person that keeps going back and forth from you to the other guy. this situation to me will cause problems later. it will more than likely cause insecurity. "COSIDERITLY KILLING ME" just rember bro be PATIENT. the woman of you dreams is out there and she is looking for you too. and one day you will find each other and there will be no doubt in your mind that she is the one. oh by the way you sure as hell have the right quote for this situation. thats what is so great about TOOL, no matter what is going on in your life one can relate to one of their songs.:Pauly:
 
genxrep said:
well it sounds like you have given this alot of thought. but have you tried to look at the situation from a third person point of view? try to see you feelings from a passive prospective. mabey you are just lonely and need approval. try to realize that while this woman (j) might be a great person in your eyes, she is not the only one. and it seems impossible to start a seriouse relationship with a person that keeps going back and forth from you to the other guy. this situation to me will cause problems later. it will more than likely cause insecurity. "COSIDERITLY KILLING ME" just rember bro be PATIENT. the woman of you dreams is out there and she is looking for you too. and one day you will find each other and there will be no doubt in your mind that she is the one. oh by the way you sure as hell have the right quote for this situation. thats what is so great about TOOL, no matter what is going on in your life one can relate to one of their songs.:Pauly:
Click to expand...

why do I think you know Peyote??
 
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