I have some MAD game. Click in here for some pointers.

[casavant]

A pro at work:

So I was bouncing last night, and it was pretty damn busy because of this "Bikes, Blues, and Barbeque" thing we have going on. I was in rare form- having a blast and feeling quite goofy. So I'm sitting up there on my little platform in the back that allows me to watch over the crowd, and I started thinking about fucking some blonde and sprung the beginning of some good wood. Well, just then, a friend of mine from high school who rooms with my little brother came up with this pretty little chicky in tow. I was like "Hey Ricky, what's up?". The chick was standing there and I'm like, "What's up?" and she says, "Do you remember me?". I had no idea who this chick was, but my schlong was still at half-mast and was pressing against my khaki shorts like a ball python. So I said, "No, I don't remember you, but check out this partial erection I have going on in my shorts." LOL. So we both look down and behold irritable Mr. Snakey for a second, and she looks up and says, "I'm Natalie." Hahaha- I had class with this chick in high school and she had a mad crush on me for a while. She's a cutie. I hadn't seen her since 1998. My friend Ricky just said, "Yep, you pretty much blew that one." I told her it was nice to see her again and maybe I wouldn't be sporting wood next time we bumped into each other.

Hell, maybe she liked it.

 

[Canuck4]

You should have whipped it out for her

 

[c-sharp minor]

LMAO!!!!

 

[casavant]

You should have whipped it out for her

Maybe I will next time.

On another note, we were cleaning up after hours and there were still some people left in the bar- you know, friends of the employees and such. This one dude who is friendly but a real goofball was acting wild so I dropped my shorts down around my ankles in the middle of the bar, grabbed him in a bear hug, and bunny fucked him in my boxer briefs like the crazy guy on "Dead Man On Campus". He didn't know what to say after that. I think he may have felt violated.

 

[Doktor Bollix]

You lunatic, "check out my partial erection". Some guys can carry shit like that off though and it's zany and wacky, rather than creepy and disturbing. I knew a guy who walked into a party carrying his turd on a handtowel like a waiter carrying a tray and everyone just died laughing, and took photographs, and he still scored. He was a funny fucker though. Other guys would get put through the wall for that.

 

[Bullit]

LMAO @ Cas and at the turd carrier.

Cas - I think you showed the goofball who the 'alpha male' was.

 

[danielson]

You lunatic, "check out my partial erection". Some guys can carry shit like that off though and it's zany and wacky, rather than creepy and disturbing. I knew a guy who walked into a party carrying his turd on a handtowel like a waiter carrying a tray and everyone just died laughing, and took photographs, and he still scored. He was a funny fucker though. Other guys would get put through the wall for that.

yeah, shit.....how some people can pull stuff like that off cas.....

 

[casavant]

LOL. I actually talked to her for a couple minutes after that. I doubt it bothered her too much, except for the fact that I was pretty shy in High School around girls and a hell of a lot smaller (no, not my penis), so she may have been a bit surprised.

And I don't want to fuck her. Whattcha think of them apples?

 

[dick tater]

That, my friend, is funny shit!

 

[HappyScrappy]

I say shit like that all the time and am always impressed with the number of people that still talk to me.
it is a game of what one can say before people finally leave.
from my own personal experience, the closest thing I've seen so far that will get a chick really pissed off is to call the retarded ugly.
even that didn't make this one girl leave, but she did look unhappy and I felt bad.

 

[casavant]

I say shit like that all the time and am always impressed with the number of people that still talk to me.
it is a game of what one can say before people finally leave.
from my own personal experience, the closest thing I've seen so far that will get a chick really pissed off is to call the retarded ugly.
even that didn't make this one girl leave, but she did look unhappy and I felt bad.

LOL. Man, that's the way I've been lately. I was telling this chick about how I was really impressed with this guy I had tossed out. I said that the texture of his pants hung off his ass just right and framed it perfectly. She looked a little perplexed.

 

[casavant]

That was me.

 

[casavant]

Well, I have to admit that I got upstaged last night. One of the bartenders had been drinking all day when he came into work. He was piss drunk and acting pretty darn goofy. Well, I'm standing behind the back end of the bar, eating my plate of barbeque next to the girl that works the beer bar. I'm taking the second bite out of my sandwich when J. walks up about a foot away with a big shit-eating grin on his face. I looked down, and lo and behold he's got his flaccid schlong hanging out of his pants, and he's going, "What- what is it? What's wrong?" I had to move to a table to finish eating because the site of his pecker just really wasn't doing it for me. The beer bar girl turned her head before she saw and walked to an outside corner of the bar. So J. goes to the employee bathroom; I figured, "Good, he's finally zipping the damn thing up." At this point his cack had been hanging out for a couple of minutes. But no, he comes out of the bathroom and walks out ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR to stand next to the beer girl. I mean, the guys dick is just flopping around and there's several people at tables right there in front of him. Of course, at that point he got the desired rise out of the beer chickie and she took off with her hand covering her face. Strangely enough, I'm not sure if any of the customers ever noticed. He casually walked back behind the bar and finally tucked his dick back in his pants. We all breathed a sigh of relief.

 

[casavant]

^penis

 

[Nathan]

Nice moves Cas. Wish I had moves like those. Really. Not kidding. I'm not one for pointing my penis out to the ladies but I am one for hanging my ass out. I think ass is funny whereas genitals are a little bit pushy and "look at me"-ish. Next time just sit on that stool with your pants pulled just below your bare buttocks and then you can stand up to shake her hand and then turn around and show her your ass. While I'm sure this doesn't sound funny in the least, I'm also sure that it is even less funny when doing it in public. I'll shut up now and keep to myself for the rest of the evening. I hate it when I'm not funny at all, which is like 99.99% of the time but whatcha gonna do right?

 

[casavant]

Nice moves Cas. Wish I had moves like those. Really. Not kidding. I'm not one for pointing my penis out to the ladies but I am one for hanging my ass out. I think ass is funny whereas genitals are a little bit pushy and "look at me"-ish. Next time just sit on that stool with your pants pulled just below your bare buttocks and then you can stand up to shake her hand and then turn around and show her your ass. While I'm sure this doesn't sound funny in the least, I'm also sure that it is even less funny when doing it in public. I'll shut up now and keep to myself for the rest of the evening. I hate it when I'm not funny at all, which is like 99.99% of the time but whatcha gonna do right?

Ass-hanging is some good clean fun as well

LOL. I was bouncing a titty bar here in town when I was twenty and I got up on stage, dropped my jeans, and swung my dick in a windmill circle for a bunch of crankhead strippers after hours. Made $42 though.

For days afterward they asked for an encore and one of the nastier ones confessed that she would "eat shit for a day just for a chance to suck my dick." Boy, now if that ain't sexy, I don't know what is.


And no, I didn't let her.

 

[Big Country 056]

LMAO!!! Too many good stories!

 

[big_bad_buff]

swung my dick in a windmill circle for a bunch of crankhead strippers after hours.

the windmill move is pretty hard to get down, but once you get it, it's like riding a bike lol...you should try the quick side to side motion for a chick, dick slap her couple hundred times in the face, maybe you can make more $ next time lol

 

[Dr.M]

LoL, that is some funny shit...