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I don't mind so much getting a speed ticket

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supersizeme

supersizeme

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noawadays as much as I mind getting my weight underestimated on the citation. I just got roughly my 30th career moving violation, this one being for speeding at 58 in a 40 on the way home from work at 5am. The officer comes back to me and hands me the ticket, which I graciously accepted along with a thousand "thank yous." I even handed him a fruit basket that I fortunately had in the backseat of my car. As soon as he walked off, I immediately checked to see how much Officer Shitbox thinks I weigh. Last time I got pulled over, I was put down as 190lbs, which was about accurate. Right now I'm 5"10" 183 of pure, unadulterated, rippling homo sapien. I looked at the ticket, and it said "140lbs." DAMN!!! :finger2: :splat: I almost got out of the car, said "scuse me, officer!" and began to hit some poses. I probably would've started out with a side tricep and then moved to maybe a most muscular or even my show-stopping signature move, The Right Brachilias Spectacle, all while shoving raw chicken breasts down my throat. If this didn't get any reaction, I might've just gone ahead and pulled the Olympic bar that I keep in my backseat loaded with 275 out and started upright rowing it and screaming a lot. So now I have this ticket. Fortunately I think I just got off probation with the DMV in this county back in August. Looks like I'm going right back on. Yay. Fuckin yeah!!
 
Damn that sucks buddy. I blazed past a cop yeasterday doing 65 in a 35 on my way to work. His car was in the Golf Course parking lot so I think he was snoozing. See that a lot around here.

he he...

I thought the speed limit in Texas was

"Customary and Reasonable".

Hang tight bro
 
LMAO@ almost striking the poses for the cop! You should have told him you wanna sit on his face to guess it proper.

Sorry 'bout the ticket.

I've never gotten a ticket in my life..No kidding!
 
vixenbabe said:
LMAO@ almost striking the poses for the cop! You should have told him you wanna sit on his face to guess it proper.

Sorry 'bout the ticket.

I've never gotten a ticket in my life..No kidding!
Click to expand...
Find some wood, the oak finished dildo in your purse does not count. peace
 
dude, I think the answer here is obvious.

take the thing to court, break out a scale - point dramatically at your weight and announce that the ticket is obviously not yours and is intended for some other, much smaller individual. then point at some random smaller person in the court room and say "perhaps him?"
that is, if there are any dudes in the court smaller than you.

also, at the very bottom of the ticket, did he note "gay"

I have never had a speeding ticket - which is great considering my driving - but I imagine that if I did, they'd estimate me to weigh a few thousand pounds solely judged by all the extra skin I carry around my neck.
I call it my "just in case" skin. you know, just in case I double in size and need some.
 
The Plano PD are assholes about speeding.... I guess they think there is no other crime, that's all they do.

I got a speeding ticket from one of those assholes a few years ago..... he said that citing speeder's was his only job..... :mad:
 
use a ticket clinic to fix the ticket with no points or reporting on your license.
 
supersizeme said:
noawadays as much as I mind getting my weight underestimated on the citation. I just got roughly my 30th career moving violation, this one being for speeding at 58 in a 40 on the way home from work at 5am. The officer comes back to me and hands me the ticket, which I graciously accepted along with a thousand "thank yous." I even handed him a fruit basket that I fortunately had in the backseat of my car. As soon as he walked off, I immediately checked to see how much Officer Shitbox thinks I weigh. Last time I got pulled over, I was put down as 190lbs, which was about accurate. Right now I'm 5"10" 183 of pure, unadulterated, rippling homo sapien. I looked at the ticket, and it said "140lbs." DAMN!!! :finger2: :splat: I almost got out of the car, said "scuse me, officer!" and began to hit some poses. I probably would've started out with a side tricep and then moved to maybe a most muscular or even my show-stopping signature move, The Right Brachilias Spectacle, all while shoving raw chicken breasts down my throat. If this didn't get any reaction, I might've just gone ahead and pulled the Olympic bar that I keep in my backseat loaded with 275 out and started upright rowing it and screaming a lot. So now I have this ticket. Fortunately I think I just got off probation with the DMV in this county back in August. Looks like I'm going right back on. Yay. Fuckin yeah!!
Click to expand...

LMAO!

This must have been in the pre-DL for 315 days
 
LOL

Thats why I only drive while wearing under armor.
 
vixenbabe said:
LMAO@ almost striking the poses for the cop! You should have told him you wanna sit on his face to guess it proper.

Sorry 'bout the ticket.

I've never gotten a ticket in my life..No kidding!
Click to expand...

That's one of the benefits of being a woman.
 
supersizeme said:
hey smurf...335. i don't mean to be anal, i'm just sayin.
Click to expand...

When are you getting your Dodge Magnum so you can put a squat rack in the back? i'd almost pay money to see someone pull up along side you and say, "what you got in that thing?" then watch you whip out the rack, throw the pins away, and start deep squatting.
 
vixenbabe said:
LMAO@ almost striking the poses for the cop! You should have told him you wanna sit on his face to guess it proper.

Sorry 'bout the ticket.

I've never gotten a ticket in my life..No kidding!
Click to expand...
It's cuz you dont speed.
 
HappyScrappy said:
dude, I think the answer here is obvious.

take the thing to court, break out a scale - point dramatically at your weight and announce that the ticket is obviously not yours and is intended for some other, much smaller individual. then point at some random smaller person in the court room and say "perhaps him?"
that is, if there are any dudes in the court smaller than you.

also, at the very bottom of the ticket, did he note "gay"

I have never had a speeding ticket - which is great considering my driving - but I imagine that if I did, they'd estimate me to weigh a few thousand pounds solely judged by all the extra skin I carry around my neck.
I call it my "just in case" skin. you know, just in case I double in size and need some.
Click to expand...

SSME and HS... This post had back to back greatness.

I laughed again, even though they are gay dudes.
 
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